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Thread: (12) Deep And Meaningful Thoughts For The Day

  1. #1
    You do realize by 'gay' I mean a man who has sex with other men?
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    Big Grin (12) Deep And Meaningful Thoughts For The Day

    12. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

    11. Life is sexually transmitted.

    10. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

    8. Some people are like Slinkies . ... . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

    7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

    6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

    5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

    3. In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird . Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

    AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these Terrorists most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.


  2. #2
    Ounique
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    How about these...

    You can only water a lawn so many times until it grows.

    If your nose were upside down you could drown if you went out in a rainstorm.

    And... if curiosity killed the cat, why was the dog so frustrated?

    (this is what happens when I don't get enough sleep)


  3. #3
    Moderator Bec's Avatar
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    Did you know that if you were a domestic turkey, raised for food at a farm ... they'll just stand and look up at rain and drown? They don't seek shelter.


  4. #4
    Ounique
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    OMG!!! Turkey suicide! :fuckup:


  5. #5
    Have an idea and make it come to life! Gary-Alan's Avatar
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    I actually saw that happen in a petting zoo.

    No one drowned but it was pretty funny watching the turkeys and some humans looking up in the sky as if thinking the same thing... "What's that?"

    LMAO

    GA


  6. #6
    Ounique
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    Supposedly, if you stand in a crowd and look up for a while, you'll find a bunch of people will also do it. I've never tried it.

    But I used to try that thing where they say if you stand in an elevator and face the back wall, people will also do it, but it never worked for me. Maybe I was too freaky, and they just figured I was strange. Would be interesting to see if a handsom man in a business suit, or a smartly dressed, pretty woman tried it if it would work. Hmmm....


  7. #7
    Aly_AVN
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    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    :fracais:


  8. #8
    You do realize by 'gay' I mean a man who has sex with other men?
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    Originally posted by Aly Python
    If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    :fracais:
    You speak wisely oh wise Aly

    Also, when they didnt work.. why didnt he get a refund?

    Regards,

    Lee


  9. #9
    Have an idea and make it come to life! Gary-Alan's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Lee
    You speak wisely oh wise Aly

    Also, when they didnt work.. why didnt he get a refund?

    Regards,

    Lee
    Didn't you ever see the Terms and Conditions for Acme?

    ACME MANUFACTURING COMPANY AND ITS SUBSIDIARIES ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MISUSE OR USER MISHANDLING. PERCEIVED MALFUNCTIONS BASED ON USER MISUSE RENDERS ALL REFUND OR RETURN POLICIES NULL AND VOID.

    See!


  10. #10
    TheLegacy
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    YOu can lead a horse to drink but you cant make him water

    If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

    Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

    Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

    If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?


  11. #11
    Aly_AVN
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    Originally posted by TheLegacy


    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
    LMAO!

    You can make amends but not one amend, you comb through annals of history but not a single annal...
    ...If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?


    :fracais:


  12. #12
    TheLegacy
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    Originally posted by Aly Python
    LMAO!

    You can make amends but not one amend, you comb through annals of history but not a single annal...
    ...If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?


    :fracais:

    heheeh.. she said "annals" heheheh



  13. #13
    She Devil
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    A PRIMER IN POLITICS AND ECONOMICS AROUND THE WORLD


    DEMOCRAT:
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbour has none.
    You feel guilty for being successful.
    You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
    The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbour.
    You feel righteous.
    Barbara Streisand sings for you.

    REPUBLICAN:
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbour has none.
    So?

    SOCIALIST:
    You have two cows.
    The government takes one and gives it to your neighbour.
    You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
    Your cows enjoy the highest standard of living in the world.

    COMMUNIST:
    You have two cows.
    The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    You wait in line for 5 hours to get it.
    It is expensive and sour.

    LIBERTARIAN:
    You have two cows.
    You would have more cows but the government interfered.
    Your cow ownership is covered by the 2nd amendment.
    Everything is covered by the 2nd Amendment.
    You wonder what kind of drugs your cows like to use.


  14. #14
    Chris Alan
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    Paper or Plastic, does it matter? Both are made from rubber trees.

    What do they call cowardly hens?

    Poverty is the one thing money canít buy.

    To our sweethearts and wives: May they never meet

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm going to eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

    How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

    If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

    You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
    people that work nights?

    Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?


  15. #15
    chick with a bass basschick's Avatar
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    i'd give my life to be healthy ;-)

    Chris Alan - he stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni 'cause that's what extremely well-dressed, fashionable men were called then - macaronis.

    don mike, i used to do that looking up thing. works like a charm *grin*


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