Best Date Ever?

**DEVELISH** · 04-12-2006, 06:17 PM

Originally Posted by 001010100110

I take a different approach to dating Develish. I can't stand those dates (especially first ones) where it is like an interview.

oops, Zach, guess you got me wrong there - I talk to them but mainly I ask hidden questions to keep the conversation going - it's not like a questionaire or an interview at all - when the guy I go out with talks for example about Poland, I ask questions about where he's from, what its like, how big the city is, how often he goes there, then tell something I know and basically "learn" by conversation. I definately do not pull everything from out of their nose - that I find to tedious :-)

I can deal and accept anything about the dude's past if I can have a hella good time with him laughing, telling jokes, trail running, surfing, and other stuff that is fun. I don't feel the need to tell my life story on every date and I don't want to hear most people's story, esp. on a first date. If it works out, then we'll share while we are having breakfast in bed sometime, not on a first date.

Who wants to know the life story on the first date?

Guess its not you or me for this instance ... What I try to do is use different settings for the different meetings with the guy I "date" - a bar or cafe, then a nice walk, maybe dinner somewhere nice and I think the guy fits in well and is comfortable (I don't care dining at a truck stop or a 3star restaurant - with that I'm flexible), BUT I would also choose something on a later meet where I think he does not fit in well, he might be uncomfortable with to see his reaction.
Now it reads like I am doing all the choices of selecting the setting for a "date" - but it's not like that at all... the guy I dated on uh... Saturday ... chose a fairly big fair with rides for this weekend - which I do like a lot. On the other hand If the choice is something I am very uncomfortable with - like gay bars or the like - I will tell the person.

Oh man, I could just go on and write and write but I guess if somebody wants to know more just ask ;-) either here or in a messenger of y'alls choise

To come back to the question which I think I did not answer yet:
a perfect date (first, second, third - does not matter) to me would be a date where you get to know that person a bit better, develop an interest in meeting that person again, perfect would be if he shows me stuff I didn't know yet about my town or surroundings. On dates I am most of the time very open mindet - he could give me a museum tour (i never go to museums), a city tour, cook and involve me in that, let me help bartending at an event he supports... show me something new, surprise me...

That does not sound like I'm easy to be with, right? Wrong! Everybody shares someting with the other - you just have to find out that common ground and start from there, evolve through communication.

:develish:

**DEVELISH** · 04-12-2006, 06:20 PM

Originally Posted by desslock

So we go and sit through this black and white movie called Repulsion which was made in the early 1970s, and it was about Catherine Deneuve going slowly insane.

That was a memorable evening.

Exactely that's the reason why I would like to spend a evening/night talking with you, Steve...

maxpower · 04-12-2006, 06:23 PM

Sorry but OMG I think I must have A.D.D. or something, some of you guys are really longwinded its like reading a book or something :mental:

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**DEVELISH** · 04-12-2006, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by maxpower

Sorry but OMG I think I must have A.D.D. or something, some of you guys are really longwinded its like reading a book or something :mental:

Sorry, but you gotta keep up, Plano-Boy

:develish:

desslock · 04-12-2006, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by 001010100110

And it better be outdoors, or I ain't showing up.

Ooooookay..... why is this? Are you concerned they might be conducting FBI surveillence, or something? :joker: j/k

Don't get too spooked about the "questions/interview process" as you characterize it. I always ask people that I meet some questions. If you handle it properly, it relexes them, because everyone likes the fact that you are curious or interested in them. And when I see them again, I can follow up with what they've told me.

Steve

maxpower · 04-12-2006, 06:29 PM

Originally Posted by DEVELISH

Sorry, but you gotta keep up, Plano-Boy

:develish:

LOL it is really hard to read all that while I am working too

I just have to skim it and them sometime it makes me sound even mote like a stupid shit :kelly:

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**DEVELISH** · 04-12-2006, 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by maxpower

LOL it is really hard to read all that while I am working too

I just have to skim it and them sometime it makes me sound even mote like a stupid shit :kelly: .

You are not in my eyes - see.... the amount you posted in the threads in the past days made me remove you from the ignore list of mine just to see what you have to write - it made me curious ... and to be fair - it ain't shit no more!

desslock · 04-12-2006, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by maxpower

Sorry but OMG I think I must have A.D.D. or something, some of you guys are really longwinded its like reading a book or something :mental:

Bascially what you need to take from what Devilish's comments is that if you go on a date with a German, they are going to spend it trying to understand your Weltanshauung.

Those krazy Germans! :joker:

Steve

maxpower · 04-12-2006, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by DEVELISH

You are not in my eyes - see.... the amount you posted in the threads in the past days made me remove you from the ignore list of mine just to see what you have to write - it made me curious ... and to be fair - it ain't shit no more!

Thax I really appreciate that man

I guess I am a bit of a hot head sometimes and when I get into arguments with some people it makes me just blurt out some really fucked up shit. But too tell the truth with out the nameless people’s arguments its a bit easier of me to relax, so I guess in the long run the “ignore” thing did work in my favor.

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maxpower · 04-12-2006, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by desslock

Bascially what you need to take from what Devilish's comments is that if you go on a date with a German, they are going to spend it trying to understand your Weltanshauung.

Those krazy Germans! :joker:

Steve

See isn’t that allot easier to say, now we all know what’s UP :kelly:

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001010100110 · 04-12-2006, 06:49 PM

Originally Posted by desslock

Ooooookay..... why is this? Are you concerned they might be conducting FBI surveillence, or something? :joker: j/k

Don't get too spooked about the "questions/interview process" as you characterize it. I always ask people that I meet some questions. If you handle it properly, it relexes them, because everyone likes the fact that you are curious or interested in them. And when I see them again, I can follow up with what they've told me.

Steve

I just am tired of going on dates to movies and bars and that sort of thing, so now I only go on dates that involve some the outdoors like kayaking, surfing, hiking, trail running, football games, something where the focus isn't conversation and there is no pressure to talk. Not because I avoid talking, but because I think that when two people sit down at a table and eat, there is pressure, but when you are both on surfboards, your concentration is elsewhere and people let their guard down (same thing if they are really drunk).

**DEVELISH** · 04-12-2006, 06:51 PM

Originally Posted by desslock

Bascially what you need to take from what Devilish's comments is that if you go on a date with a German, they are going to spend it trying to understand your Weltanshauung.

Those krazy Germans! :joker:

Steve

well, that's me at least, I wanna know what makes you tick..

What makey YOU tick, Steve? I'm all ears :noddy: :-)

**DonMike** · 04-12-2006, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by XXXWriterDude

That's a good first date, Don. I love the Pier. Movies are good for the 3rd or 4th date, actually. But they also give you something to talk about.

Awww, thanks Ken. I went on a series of dates a few years ago, all in a row, that almost made me give up dating alltogether. It's all a big joke between me and my friends now, but at the time it was not really funny. I met this guy from San Jose online. He was sooooo sexy and we spent a lot of time chatting and talking to each other on the phone. So I went to spend the weekend with him, and it turned out that his favorite thing to do was home improvement stuff. So we spent the weekend putting roofing on his garage. For him, it was "getting to know you" time, for me it was "I gotta get the hell out of here" time. I was having bad flashbacks of woodshop in high school. Then the next guy I went out with made me help him install shelves in his garage. What about me says Tim Allen? I hate that kind of stuff. I'm not going to go into a whole diatribe about Dominant/submissive relationships, but in a nutshell it's based on mutual respect where both parties are getting something out of it. A lot of guys who call themselves Dominant seem to think that the submissive is happy doing whatever you tell them no matter what it is, which is really not true. If I want to start a relationship with you, I am happy doing what you tell me to do, but if all you want to do is build shelves or watch westerns on TV or scrub floors then chances are I'm not going to want to do what you want and so therefore I'm not going to want to be with you in the first place. I wish I had learned that lesson about myself before those two experiences, because I stayed there and finished both jobs. But, you live you learn. Now the running joke with my friends is that they want to put my number on the bathroom wall saying "For a good time or expert home improvements, call...." LOL!