Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 16 to 24 of 24

Thread: How do you let someone down nicely?

  1. #16
    AusCoding Allan
    Guest
    Wow,

    I didn't expect such a huge response from everyone. Thanks.

    I agree with you guys that letting him down nicely is the best option. I never thought to actually analyse the reasons why he asked me but from what you guys said it makes more sense that if he's really interested that it would have taken a great deal of courage on his part to ask.

    I think I'll just take it as a compliment that he thinks I'm attractive (it doesn't hurt to have positive reinforcement occassionally). I guess the best way to put it to him is that I've known him for a long time and that it wouldn't work between us because I am not interested in or attracted to other guys and that whilst it's unfortunate, I'd still like to be friends.

    Thanks once again everyone, I didn't particularly want to absolutely crush him.

    Cheers,

    Allan


  2. #17
    You do realize by 'gay' I mean a man who has sex with other men?
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana.
    Posts
    21,635
    Allan,

    Let us know how it goes im sure a lot of us will be wondering

    Hopefully it will work out so you can still remain friends with this guy

    Regards,

    Lee


  3. #18
    AusCoding Allan
    Guest
    Just a little postscript for you all.

    We had a D & M last night and I basically explained the situation to him, i.e. that it wouldn't work because I'm not interested in men etc. I also mentioned that I took it as a compliment and that I can understand how hard it was for him to broach the topic with me.

    Admittedly he was a little upset but he understood where I was coming from and I particularly emphasised the point that this would not affect our friendship in any way, shape or form.

    We ended up going out for coffee afterwards and all is well, I even mentioned (later on when he had cheered up) that I had some really great friends in the US that I could introduce him to should he ever be over that way.

    Cheers and thanks for all your help once again.

    Allan


  4. #19
    You do realize by 'gay' I mean a man who has sex with other men?
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana.
    Posts
    21,635
    Oh thats awesome news Allan :groovy:

    Glad it went well and you two are still friends

    Now on another note.. you know of at least one guy you can approach if you ever decide to get into the gay content biz

    Regards,

    Lee


  5. #20
    AusCoding Allan
    Guest
    True, and as they say once you know one they always have friends

    Allan


  6. #21
    Have an idea and make it come to life! Gary-Alan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Daytona Beach, Florida, USA
    Posts
    2,591
    ozmale...

    THanks for the follow up.

    Glad to hear it went well. It's a precarious situation. And could have gone either way. I'm so happy it went the right way for you.

    My best,
    Gary-Alan


  7. #22
    Moderator Bec's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    8,419
    Glad it went well for you Allan ... just follow through on the "we're still friends" part ... if you'd been doing stuff together prior, like out for a drink, or grabbing a ball game together ... don't stop! He'll need to see he didn't totally screw up the friendship, if that makes sense.


  8. #23
    AusCoding Allan
    Guest
    Originally posted by LdyLnWolf1
    Glad it went well for you Allan ... just follow through on the "we're still friends" part ... if you'd been doing stuff together prior, like out for a drink, or grabbing a ball game together ... don't stop! He'll need to see he didn't totally screw up the friendship, if that makes sense.
    Will do Bec,

    As far as I'm concerned nothing has changed between us (although for him maybe it has) he's still my bud and that's it as far as I'm concerned.

    Allan


  9. #24
    Ounique
    Guest
    Hey Allan,

    I'm very happy to hear that this went over well. Speaking as someone who has gone through it from the other side, you totally did the right thing. When I pined for a straight guy, I never told him about my feeling until years later, after he had moved away and we hadn't seen each other in a long time. But even though I knew it wouldn't go anywhere that posibility was always there. But being able to close that chapter and move on is one of the best things one can do for themselves. So even though it was a sad moment for him, he's much better off. And you guys came out of it with your friendship intact. So good for you. That's just awesome.


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •