I had to share these...

THE YEAR'S BEST [ACTUAL] HEADLINES OF 2003:

· Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
· Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
· Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
· Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
· Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
· Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
· Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
· Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
· Miners Refuse to Work after Death
· Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
· War Dims Hope for Peace
· If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
· Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
· Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
· Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
· Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
· New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
· Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
· Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
· Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
· Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
· Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead