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Thread: Employee Performance (Funny)

  1. #1
    I'm A Confirmed Trisexual CuriousToyBoy's Avatar
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    Employee Performance (Funny)

    Another gem from the ToyBoy urban legend file, thanks to Serge....

    These are supposedly supervisor quotes taken from employee performance evaluations:

    1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom
    and has started to dig."

    2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

    3. "This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a
    definite won't be."

    4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

    5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet."

    6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

    7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

    8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
    achieve them."

    9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

    10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

    11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
    together."

    12. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

    13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

    14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

    15. "He's been working with glue too much."

    16. "He would argue with a signpost."

    17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

    18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

    19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

    20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

    21. "A prime candidate for natural DE-selection."

    22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

    23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
    coming."

    24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

    25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

    26. "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

    27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

    28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

    29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

    30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

    31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

    32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."


  2. #2
    AusCoding Allan
    Guest
    Ok keep them coming, LMAO

    I love this sort of thing, full credit to you I needed a laugh this morning and I was rolling on the floor in stitches.

    Ta

    Allan


  3. #3
    I'm A Confirmed Trisexual CuriousToyBoy's Avatar
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    Always a pleasure my friend

    My ABSOLUTE favorite of the bunch has to be:

    9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

    I have been quoting that one for years - it sort of puts things in a nutshell.

    :grin:


  4. #4
    Have an idea and make it come to life! Gary-Alan's Avatar
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    I read this one and thought of my former admin assistant...

    5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet."


    Classics. Thanks for the giggles.

    Gary-Alan


  5. #5
    You do realize by 'gay' I mean a man who has sex with other men?
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    LOL @ 26

    I going to remember that one for future reference

    Regards,

    Lee


  6. #6
    AusCoding Allan
    Guest
    Originally posted by Lee
    LOL @ 26

    I going to remember that one for future reference

    Regards,

    Lee
    Never would've thought you'd refer to Gary like that. Shame on you lee!

    hehehe

    Allan


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