Central Park

I'll be so terribly upset if the grass in Central Park gets trampled on this week. It's so rare and irreplaceable, and I can't think of anything more important. In the whole wide world! Mass starvation? Compare that to the beauty of Kentucky Blue. Torture and depravity? Well, where would we be without the smell of a freshly mown lawn? Theft of the public trust? If all those nasty protesters aren't very careful we won't even be able to have a picnic!

Really! I think EVERYTHING should take a back seat the pristine beauty of Mother Nature's hair. God! What would we do if it got ruined? How could it ever be replaced? Families for eternity would have to sit in the dirt eating dust.

I'll weep for every smashed blade. Truly, I will.

I certainly have nothing else of importance to weep for, do I?

Mocha anyone?