An article I wrote a few months ago

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Just print everything below the line and give me a link back to my site: http://hamiltonsteele-officiel.com
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This is about an actual event that occurred several months ago. So it's not my newest. But I was thinking about life last night and I decided this would be something good to share.

I hope you enjoy
Hammy.


Her face flushed and her eyes fixated to an unknown point on the ceiling. With staggered rasps her breath came, and the words, "Oh God", heaved past her lips. From my intimate position holding onto her, I could see that in her heartbeat’s subtle climax, her world had abandoned her. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to mentally become one with her and at least in empathy feel her heart's savage song.

There is nothing random in this world and like the pieces in some great game of chess played on the fields of purgatory we are positioned into place. I had been walking down the street in Reykjavik and without thinking I stepped off the curb and found myself struck by a scooter. It was a minor traffic incident and I really didn't need to go to the hospital. But the blood on the back of my head caused the people witnessing the accident to panic. As payment for my negligence I was given 10 hours in the emergency room. And like all long waits that only end after you have had your head examined the hours of boredom caused more discomfort than any physical injury. However unbeknownst to me I was nothing more than a piece on a game board and fate had moved me into play. Without a clue about my situation, I stood silently at attention.

2 hours into my visit to the hospital the doors burst open and a crowd of people came flooding in. Chaos ensued with paramedics, doctors and patients. From my vantage point I could see a dark hand slowly clench and release from the bed as it was quickly wheeled in to the hospital and disappeared down the hall. As I listened to the human drama fade into the distance I became aware of a woman standing beside me. Her hair was the colour of golden wheat and she wore nothing but a simple t-shirt and small shorts. One of the nurses had walked over to her and handed her a mug of hot liquid and emotionless she sipped at it. Judging by her clothing it was obvious to me that she had been rudely aroused from her bed. Without thinking I abandoned the gurney and took the blanket and offered it to her. She gladly accepted it and seem to enjoy the little bit of comfort it offered her and I was grateful to have someone to help pass away the long emergency room hours.

5 more hours had passed since we met and her voice and her pale green eyes had a northern hypnotic effect. She was small of frame, warm of heart and enjoyed curling her body into mine as we attempted to make ourselves comfortable in the hard-plastic waiting room chairs. A mystical and spiritual energy was passing between us as I stroked her hair. Neither of us knew each other's names but ancient hearts and future soul mates tend to find each other and quickly embrace to share the warmth of a combined hearth. Since sacrificing my life to the quest of finding those rare moments of perfection, it was easy to recognize that we were soon going to share a spiritual connection. A mutual gift of profound beauty was going to be exchanged that would somehow complete each other. As the young woman nudged my ear with her nose and breathed a sigh of satisfaction, her understanding of this fact was also apparent.

We stood before God’s altar, held each other’s hands and spoke our words to the most high. The smell of old candle wax and smoke filled the air, as innocence was lost and hope for the future was gained. I looked into her eyes and saw my past and in return she stared into mine and glimpsed her future. No matter how sophisticated as a species we become or the distance our technology may take us, there will always exist at our core the primitive need to place our faith in a creator. Our lips touched for a suspended moment in time and we felt the watchful eyes of the divine. Then silently with renewed faith we clasped each other's hand and walked out of the chapel.

"There is nothing wrong with your head. You are free to go." The voice of the doctor was cold and distant, and I concluded that he must be tired. After all it was 10 pm when I arrived, he was already here then and now the clock read a few minutes past 8 am. Relieved that I was now released, I grabbed my coat and walked to the waiting room to rejoin my companion. For other men it could have been the pale exotic eyes of the North or how her face gave the look of a lost little girl. Perhaps even, it was the time we had shared, kneeling and praying in the hospital chapel, complete with sacred moment and kiss. But for me it was knowledge of what lays ahead, so I chose to full fill my date with destiny. Only a married man can understand the words, "till death do us part".

Roughly four more hours passed and I was hungry. It had been a very long and touching night. While ordering lunch in the cafeteria we found ourselves sharing a laugh, as I did my best stand up comedy routine. Sometimes miracles happen and in less then a full day, without a doubt, I had managed to make myself a permanent part of her world. We were each other's lost companion and soul mate.

But remember life is a game of chess that the arch-angels are playing with demons and I was nothing more then a knight that was now moved into it's finally play. A nurse came up to us and informed us the doctor wanted to talk. She grabbed my hand and quickly we left with the nurse. In the doctor's office I knew what was going to happen next. His words proclaimed that the game was now check, "I'm sorry but your husband and son were too badly burned by the fire, they both died quietly within minutes of each other."

My companion's mouth opened wide to scream, but not a sound escaped; the queen had fallen. And as the noble knight I attempted to catch her but as her body went limp in my arms and she tore at my shoulder, I was very aware that I could not save her. For like the chess piece that has been toppled, she would never rejoin this game. Holding her as tight as possible, I could sense my own pain close to the surface.

Gently my eyes closed allowing myself to mentally become one with her heart's savage song. Her eyes fixated to an unknown point on the ceiling and the words "Oh god" heaved past her lips and I felt her being welcomed by the devils of my dark world. She had become like me, and many others who have suffered the loss of a child and significant other, dead but still alive and desperately trying to find reason.

Copyright Hamilton Steele 2005