it's a long post i know...
Ok...I'm just coming down off my little soap box...and I know this post is way too long...but over on GFY there's a thread debating the rights of gay marriage. I, as you can imagine, had a lot to say. As I consider this my online home, I wanted to come back home and discuss it with "family." Here's what I had to say on the issue...would love to hear what anybody else here has to say.
If you want to see the entire thread, you can view it here:
http://gofuckyourself.com/showthread...07#post3596507
quote:
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[i]Disallowing the misuse of a concept/ritual invented by and for straight people to mean something special to them isn't oppression or denying anyone any rights. If "denying" this to gays is denying them their rights (how and where did they earn this right?), then by the exact same logic, single people and people who want to marry a group of people or even a plant/baby/child/picture/object/soul/animal are also being denied "their" right and thereby "oppressed [/B]
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Ok...I actually liked your post. It was well written and seemed to follow a logical pattern in argument. But can you please explain to me how you, or any other straight person, "earned" the right to marry...and any gay person did not????
Here's how I see the issue. Marriage is really only a commitment ceremony between 2 (or in Utah more) consenting adults that is recognized by government to allow for certain legal protections and benefits. Allowing civil unions, but not allowing "marriage" is the purest form of segregation. Last time I checked, segregation was illegal.
This thread has offered some good arguments for both sides of this issue, but even more half-assed attempts at trying to spout rhetoric that amounts to nothing more than self-important bullshit...also on both sides of the issue. As far as changing the deffinition of marriage itself...how is it that anyone else who marries has any effect on your own marriage. If that's the case, shouldn't you be equally as offended by the fact that cousins can marry in some states? What if somebody thinks you are married to your cousin. What about people who get married simply because they've gone and knocked themselves up...or for welfare money...or inheritance??? Seems to me these ceremonies should be just as offensive, but they are not in debate.
Where children are concerned...now this issue touches a little deeper I think, for all of us. Yes, I believe the best way possible to raise a child is with a loving father and a loving mother, both financially stable enough to provide a good warm home and an empowering education. Both intelligent enough to explain life at age appropriate intervals. Both concerned enough to participate in life and lead by example. There are many many requirements for "ideal parenthood" but what percentage of American families do you think really fit this mold? Oddly enough, when I came out to my family, my aunt expressed deep sorrow for me that I would never be able to have children as her son was better for her than she ever could have imagined, and she wanted me to be able to feel that kind of joy. When I asked her why she thought I couldn't/wouldn't have kids she firmly espoused the evils of bringing up a child in such a situation. Here's the kicker...my aunt got pregnant...didn't even know she was pregnant for the 1st 4 months of the pregnancy because she drank too much to notice. When she told the "father" he skipped town. As it turns out...when my cousin was 2 YEARS old...we discovered that the man she originally thought was the father wasn't and that the father was somebody else entirely. Now...I know she loves him with her entire being, but can anybody explain to me how that can be better for a child than being raised by 2 loving parents, of any gender, who have sacrificed and designed their lives for the specific purpose of adoption. People who are caring for children before they even have them...not people who happen to fuck up in a moment of drunken lust. This is just one small example.
The other day I dropped a friend off to visit some people he knew. There were 2 sisters, both with x husbands either in jail or on the run...and 6 children living in a 2 bedroom trailer so full of shit that you litterally had to tiptoe past the front door. Whew! I sure am glad those people "earned" their right to marry. What a great future those kids are facing! On a personal level...growing up gay is hard. Nobody, not even any gay parents I know, raises children with an understanding of what it's like to be gay. This leaves countless teens, struggling with the usual pressures of adolesence, with the added burden of wondering what's wrong with them. It's hard. There should be open dialogue and discussion and places for kids to go when they don't understand their own emotions/sexuality. There needs to be a place kids can be comfortable enough to confront those issues and maybe even get some guidance. Human sexuality is not a "disease" in need of a cure.
I'm honestly not trying to "pick on" unfortunate people or circumstances, but merely pointing out that, as humans, we all have certain rights...but the most basic is the right to choose. Those people all were able to choose whether or not to marry. They chose whether or not to have children. Now really, for better or worse, any person, by virtue of his/her humanity should have the right to choose for him/herself. It's a good damned thing Hitler didn't let the Germans marry the Jews...just think how fucked up the world would be now if they'd gotten an earlier start!
I know I've gone on way too long already, and there are pages more I could write. But for now I'll stop and thank anyone who has actually taken the time to read and consider any of this.
