Homophobia

Okay guys. Here's a question for ya. How do you handle homophobia in the adult industry? I keep seeing postings on a certain other message board, that shall remain nameless, that are not only blatantly homophobic but also downright hatefull. I know I should know better than to even go there. But not going there doesn't make it go away.

In social situations, when I hear a remark that could be seen as offensive I usually try to diffuse the situation with a little humor. A lot of times a person will make an anti-gay comment without really considering how it will make others feel. When a person doesn't know any gay people they don't think about the ramifications of an off-the-cuff comment. Meeting this with defensiveness or rudeness only compounds the problem. So I try to be as understanding as possible and do my best to be friendly. I've ended up becoming friends with people who started out very anti-gay only because they didn't know any gay people.

But when I see people posting things using very offensive language and messages that can only be seen as hateful and hurtful, I don't know what to do. Suck it up? Grin and bear it? It's very frustrating. I'd be interested in hearing what you guys have to say on this subject.

don mike, i see hateful remarks on gfy (and other boards, but nowhere near as much) about black people, about women, about jewish people, about gay people...

mostly i try to avoid the people who post that stuff - mostly they're the same people who hate all those groups, so i think it's not a question of prejudice so much as being full of hate in general :-(

some of the people who post that crap don't even believe it. they just like to say inflammatory things to get attention.

put them on ignore - there is nothing you will be needing from such people, and if you put them on ignore, their worldview won't be put into your head. i surely don't want or need to know more of what those people have to say!

you can firmly, briefly comment on what they had to say, and sometimes i do, but expect to receive some serious abuse if you do.

Don, at one point in my life I was just like those people your talking about. Honestly I'm ashamed to omit it but I feel your pain. Over the years I've learned to ignore the teachings of old and go with the times. Today most of my best friends are gay and I wouldn't give them up for the world. I remember once when I was talking with my brother Gary about the first time I went into a gay club with him and he said this wasn't the first time. He said remember when we were growing up we went too so and so. I said yes he then said it was a gay bar. I had no idea. When I think of it now it was some of the best times it had.

I guess my point to this rambling is, when people experience what I will call invincible ignorance, where in their hearts, there is a barrier or wall that exists that can not be destroyed or foster new ideals. This type of ignorance can be found in religion and social circles inclusive. Also, another way I can explain this is, this is how peoples consciences are formed from childhood. I would tend to believe people that are hateful and blatantly homophobic suffer from this type of ignorance.

I don't know all the answers. However with all the gay awareness, media etc. that has been happening over the recent years, I think is a good thing. Slowly people are accepting the gay community as real people and not as freaks. I can't sit here and say I know how you feel, but I too can see there is a long road ahead to total acceptance.

From an ex-homophobe. I love you Don and all my gay friends. You guys rock.


CA

Chris Alan - my consciousness and conscience formed in childhood. i hate hurting any living things, and always did. i became a vegetarian and haven't bought leather in over ten years.

i guess ignorant, hating people teach their impressionable children the lesson of hate.

years ago, i was talking to a musician who was also black. he told me a story - he was driving through a very small town in texas and stopped for gas. he was filling his tank when a small boy (he thought maybe 6 years old) came out of the station and walked over to him.

"are you a black man?" the child asked. the musician told him yes, he was. the child asked to touch his skin. the musician said to go ahead. the child touched his arm. at this point, the musician saw an older woman come running out of the gas station.

"you feel just like we do" the child told the musician who smiled and told him people are all the same.

seconds later, the older woman pulled the child away without a word to the musician and pulled the child into the gas station.

i wonder how that kid will grow up in that small town in texas.

I don't know what the best thng is to do.

I find it surprising that folks in the industry would have such problems with homosexuality, however I suppose that like any other segment of the population, you will find your gay haters.

They need to realize that nobody asked them for permission.

These people really need to find some exciting and productive ways to spend their existance here and they would not have so much time to sit and think about what other folks are doing.

Coming directly from the Hate State (Mississippi) I can tell you they do it out of fear of the unknown. That is why I don't associate with Hetro's. They are simply stupid. And by the way... they don't just hate fags, they hate everyone with a dick bigger then theirs.

Just my 2 cents. I felt I could add something to this comment since I was literally RAN out of school as a youth and didn't finish.. Got my GED though.. LOFL!!!
:groovy:

Besides man, you are in a position to teach'em, so to speak. not that I would bother.. but you may care enough.

P.S. if you would like a copy of Dusty Springfield "Born This Way".. I'll be happy to upload it to my ftp and let you download it. It's a great Gay Cheerleading Song... :bow: