Are you a real cowboy?

An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping
his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. As I watch TV, or even eat, I think about women. Everything seems to make me think about women."

The two sat sipping in silence. A short time later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

LOL That reminded me of this joke...

Two cowboys from Goondawindi walk into a pub to wash the dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking their beers and talking quietly about cattle prices in the drought. Suddenly a woman at a table behind them, who had been eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent that she is in real distress, and the cowboys turn to look at her.

"Kin ya swaller?" asks one of the cowboys. "No", signals the woman, desperately shaking her head. "Kin ya breathe?" asks the other. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shakes her head "No" again.

The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts up the back of her skirt, yanks down her pants, and licks the woman's bum-cheeks.

This shocks the woman to a violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth, and she begins to breathe again.

The cowboy slowly walks back over to the bar and proudly takes a drink of his beer.

His partner says in admiration, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I ain't never seen nobody do it before.

Regards,

Lee

A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog:
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"

Rancher: "This dog don't talk!"

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin alright"

Rancher: (Extreme look of shock)

Cowboy: "Is this your owner? (pointing at rancher)"

Dog: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good." He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Rancher: (Look of disbelief)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Rancher: "Horses don't talk!"

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it goin?"

Horse: "Cool."

Rancher: (an even wilder look of shock)

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at rancher)

Horse: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking." He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Rancher: (total look of amazement)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your SHEEP?"

Rancher: (stuttering, and hardly able to talk)...... "Th-Th-Them sheep ain't nothin but liars!!!"