TOP 7 Idiots of 2006
The very last sentence is frightening and just might explain why the
world is in the mess it is.
Number One Idiot of 2006
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2006
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal
a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it
out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2006
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began
to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the
Wells Fargo teller. S he read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat
defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later,
as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2006
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that cont ained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Smartass... but you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2006
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in
a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over
21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The
clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she
put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that she got off the license. They arrested the robber
two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2006
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
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Idiot Number Seven of 2006
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him
unconscious.
It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole
event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign
