You Know You're From LA When...

Okay, I know these are old, but if you live here in LA they are still really funny. So...

You Know You're From LA When...

You're driving on the 101 and see a clear cut definition of where the smog begins and ends

You go to a karaoke bar and battle with seven year old divas-in-training who are trying to steal your thunder

You're sitting in traffic for at least an hour at any given part of the day

You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch

You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal

You look around at the nice cars around you during traffic, thinking it'll be your favorite Laker or WB star.

You make a conscious choice to watch Jay Leno over David Letterman

You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie

You know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.

Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes".

You've inadvertently learned Spanish.

In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.

You've bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.

You know what "sigalert", "PCH", and "the five" mean.

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.

You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.

You've trespassed through private property to get to the "Hollywood" sign.

You know Hollywood has a "lake".

You've ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.

You've started crossing a street and returned to the curb when the DON'T WALK sign started flashing.

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

You have a favorite Thai restaurant.

You've been to Disneyland more times than Downtown.

When giving directions , you follow up with the phrase: "With/Without traffic."

You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.

Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.

You never, ever go into the water at the Beach. You barely touch the sand.

Everyone you know has 3+ phone numbers. Home, Office, mobile, pager, two-way, voicemail.....

It is not unusual for your waitress at a restaurant to have blue streaked hair, a dragon tattoo and tounge piercing.

You are awakened in the middle of the night by a moderate earthquake. Your reply: "That ain't even a 5-pointer" and go back to sleep.

You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.

You live 10 miles from work. It takes you 60 minutes to get home.

You go to Las Vegas for a weekend getaway and the whole trip cost you $50.

You personally know at least 5 people with agents.

You personally know at least 3 people who have been in a movie or TV show.

You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.

You know the "secret menu" at In N Out and don't think twice about ordering from it.

You know that not everyone in Beverly Hills is a millionaire.

You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.

You've gotten parking tickets from parking in the red zone in front of your house.

You say you live in LA when really you live in a subsection of a subsection of a subsection of southern LA.

The guy at 8:30 in the morning at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney IS George Clooney.

You really can never be too rich or too thin.

The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.

The workday starts at 10am...or whenever you get out of your therapy session.

Any invitation comes with, "Starts at 8pm or as soon as you can get through traffic."

You have never met a waiter that wasn't really an "Actor."

You never go to a coffee house without a copy of a script - any script.

It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH '2006"

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

The three hour traffic jam you just sat through wasn't caused by a horrific 9 car pile-up, but by everyone slowing to rubberneck at a lost shoe lying on the shoulder. (this has really happened to me!!! - DM)

A nurse can look at you in all seriousness and ask, "you don't drink or smoke, right?"

All the "cool gyms" allow pedestrians on the street a full-view of those working out. Literally, you can't drive by Wilshire without staring into L.A. Fitness. Perhaps a new form of window shopping?

The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Los Angeles.