Bucking the Established Model

Hi I'm pretty new to gaywidewebmasters, but I'm trying to acheive sex toy domination of the gay side of the porn industry. Being from eXtremeRestraints.com, I think we'd be betraying our nature to go with anything but domination. While our we do have plenty of gay and kinky straight customers on eXtremeRestraints, we're promoting our all-gay, less fetishy store, BoyZShop.com.
My question is this, can we buck the established model of sponsoring parties and putting banners everywhere? As we're dealing with a customizable gay affiliate sex toy store, and not porn we aren't looking to market directly to the masses of webmasters, but more to major B2B contacts. We figure it would be cheaper and more effective to send presents to top tier webmasters who get in contact with us. I'd like a little input on this plan and hopefully some takers. I've gotten some encouragement from some. Others have told us that it's foolhardy and that top 20 gay sites will only sponsor people who buy banner ads and sponsor things. Of course the second camp had banner ads to sell.
Can we make it in the gay adult industry based only on the quality of our product and service?