Mixology...the delicate balance between business and booze

Recently, I have re-entered the family of Alcoholics Anonymous and have found, after this recent relapse, a warm welcome home. However, another part of what I consider family in my life is in my career, namely many of you.

Having been in this industry since Spring of 1998 it's been 6 years now. I have developed several good relationships and built a fairly solid reputation, not only for the companies that employ me, but for myself as well. What prompted this thread is my own ponderings on the upcoming InterNext show in August. You all know as well as I what an integral part of every business function we have alcohol plays. For my own part, I need to make sure my own support network is in place before I go to avoid reverting to old behavior. Working as a model, I lost a great deal of self-esteem and self-respect...but since...working in many other capacities to better the industry in the small ways I'm able, I have re-gained much of that as well as a great deal of confidence.

I could go on (and usually do) for pages; releasing my thoughts and emotions on the subject. Before I turn this into a therapy session though, I'm searching for counsel from this part of my family. Whatever level you choose to participate in any substance use at the shows, how do you reconcile that with your place in business there. I know some people don't drink, some do but not to excess, and some drink the way I drink in active use (which is to say a lot). I certainly don't mean to judge and, although I'm sure some will judge me, I expect that the group of people on this board will not. Simply, I'd like to know your opinions on how best to balance the relationship between parties and presentations, between drugs and deals, between business and booze.

Personally, I have to stay sober. I can not partake in any alcohol or drugs...which is something I'm finally grateful to be able to admit to myself. But I'm looking forward to your replies on this matter.

Thank you

Interesting post Jason.

The devil is definitely heavy at the shows and I have learned that for me, beer is my safe mode. So, I try and stick to just drinking beer and water at the shows.

The road you have taken is not an easy one, but you have taken the first step in the right direction for yourself and I will be there to give you support when I see you in Miami.

Poppy

First of all Jason, let me say publicly that you have my full support in anything you would choose to do, and in taking on a challenge such as this, I know from first hand experience that it's something that's next to impossible to do without a good safety net.

I think you're probably lucky enough to have found one here.

Although I make quite inappropriate jokes about my own 10 year court ordered sobriety, the truth is that I know how much it can suck to be the permanantly sober guy amongst the inebriated minions. I coulnd't afford to go away to rehab, so I went to an out-patient clinic during the day and went to my job (a cocktail waiter at gay club with all of my drinking buddies) at night. Talk about trial by fire.

But this, to my dismay, is not about me, but you.

So here goes.

I promise, if I happen to ever be in your presence, to never alter my behaviour in a misguided attempt to make you feel comfortable... that jsut makes it worse. I promise not to say things like "Too bad you can't drink.... we could have had fun that night" or "You sure you can't just have ONE shooter?". Instead, I'll make an idiot of myself, and make sure you're right along with me... you'll just have the misfortune to remember what tools we made of ourselves, and if the shooter thing comes up, you get ginger ale with a lime on top.

Tastes better than Campari anyway.

I promise not to look down on you for not being able to "Control yourself"... the fact that I'm hung over and it's Wednesday is proof I live in a glass house there anyway.

I promise not to give you shit should you have trouble living up to your goals. I still don't have that washboard stomach I'd planned on having by now.

Finally, I promise to neither treat you any differently, nor ever mention this again. I"ll still call you names and make mean jokes at your expense and I expect you to do the same.

And I promise to get so bombed at Ozzfest that you have to carry me home.

hee hee.

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Originally posted by 123Jason
I'd like to know your opinions on how best to balance the relationship between parties and presentations, between drugs and deals, between business and booze.

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You know thats a good question and to be honest it is going to vary from individual to individual however, that being said, from our perspective as a 'company' i can tell you we have had to deal with employees drinking and doing drugs in excess and, well, lets just say if you are going to tell us right to our faces that you are to high and cant think about anything to do with work, thats not usually a good thing ;)

I honestly think i have a good method for dealing with it..

The first day of [b]ANY[b] show i will drink in excess however after that first night, i drink very little alcohol for the remaindr of the show.

Ive done this for the last 3 or 4 shows i have attended now and can honestly say that for *ME* this method works.

Of course it also helps if you try to steer away from those webmasters who's only infuence in the industry is to cause as much shit as possible in as little time as possible.. you know.. the ones that only go to the parties and private suites for free liquor and food whilst never thinking twice about getting any business done.

Thats just my opinion anyway :)

Regards,

Lee

Jason,
I applaud your decision and you can count on me to be there, to help you ... one function...one tradeshow at a time. August is a long way off. You'll do just fine.

I heard Dr.Phil (yeah, I watch to Dr.Phil) say the difference in a dream and a goal is that a dream is just something:YOU think about. A goal is something you think about AND you tell someone. Ok, you have now told several some ones and we'll be there watching and helping you over the pitfalls as they come up.


kathi :smooch:

thanks all so much...as i said to jasun in icq (once i gathered myself) sitting at a meeting doesn't do shit till i transfer it over to my daily life. big hugs to you all...

jasun, i'm glad you know the importance of keeping it real...and not treating me differently. feel free to put the smack down on my ass whenever you feel it necessary and know i will do the same :whip:

hhmmmm...speaking of smacking asses...where's chris these days ;)

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Originally posted by 123Jason
hhmmmm...speaking of smacking asses...where's chris these days ;)

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We put him in quarantine LOL

Actualy he has gone away on a short vacation for a few days he should be back any day now though :thumbsup:

Regards,

Lee

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Originally posted by Lee
We put him in quarantine LOL

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at least now i know what that cryptic call from community health was about ;)

I think letting people know that they shouldn't expect to see you drinking and know that you are in fact committed to not drinking is key.
You've created a whole grip of people who will understand and think nothing of it when you're not getting railed at the bar and just having a good time with your soda :)
That can help alleviate a lot of the pressure and awkwardness.
Sure, a great many people like to get blitzed at these events and its one of the reasons they're so fun and the industry itself is such a casual and friendly one to work in. But I find that when I actually peek around to take note of the people who are just having one or two, sippin' on soda, or have really mellowed out their drinks since the first night (as Lee mentioned, which I think a great many people do as well), there's a whole lotta em.
Myself included. It's been some two and a half odd years since I last had a sip of booze and I love the conventions and webmasters events.
Now if I could only find the number for Twink Lovers Anonymous...

If more people got the kind of brutal hangovers that I get, there would be a lot less people in rehab!

Here's some tips about conventions:

-Always be professional. Everyone claims they go just to have fun, but it really is a work-related event. Messy drunks cause gossip.
-You don't HAVE to stay till the end of every cocktail party. Show your face, make the rounds quickly, and get out before you feel the pressure to drink.
-Schedule meetings in place of the big rowdy parties. You'll get to know people more intimately and might actually make some deals.

Or better yet, I'll just handcuff you to my bed to be my personal (sober) slave for the weekend. Deal?

123Jason - good for you! i never really enjoyed alcohol, so not drinking isn't hard for me, but i used to love drugs years ago. i didn't use a program, but i did decide i had to stop, and it's been 16 years since i got high.

best of luck to you - i'll keep a good thought.

Jason, if you ever need anything any of us from the board are only too happy to help. I for one don't drink, it's not from bad experience or for health reasons, it's just by choice. I find it great to actually be able to remember events i have attended particularly conventions and work functions, I've grown up around all my friends who generally drink to excess in order to enjoy a party. I enjoy the party without the alcohol.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, we are all with you every step of the way and if in doubt call us!

Allan