Mashed Bananas (A true story?)
Mashed Bananas
This is a fictional story but it probably more true than not.
Staightfratboysfirsttimegaysexorgy.com opens up one day with a 50% SSbill revshare program and starts small with only a few friends as affiliates. Those few affiliates convert 1:20 off of a few gallery submissions because the content is hot and fresh and the surfers are blown away by such a new and exciting concept.
The owner is encouraged by his new success so he starts boasting on GTW (gaythinwebmasters.com) about his 1:20 conversions. This excites a group of affiliates both big and small (but mostly mid-size). These 20 new affiliates are converting at 1:50 and are overjoyed. So they start pushing the program harder with more galleries, freesites and blog entries. This flurry of activity alerts even more potential affiliates to the site.
Meanwhile, the money is starting to roll in for the site owner and he splurges on a big AdPhrases campaign and full-page ads in JUG (justusguys.com) mag and CyberReceptacle. The second wave of affiliates are converting at 1:200 and they are quite happy.
His site is retaining really well, so he adds FHGs and a PPS option for all of those TGP webmasters. He also adds cascading billing to capture all of the potential income. The affiliates are now converting at 1:300 and everyone is still happy... even the TGP webmasters who are converting at 1:500.
And the owner is over-the-moon because he has 2,000 members and he just bought that new Hummer he's had his eye on. And now he wants to show off his new bling and latest batch of straightfratboys at the InterAdjacent-Expo in Las Vegas. He throws a monster party with free booze and other party favors. And the stars of his party... the 13 straightfratboys have a firsttimegaysex orgy in front of 200 horny webmasters. Straightfratboysfirsttimegaysexorgy.com is the STAR of the show!
During the Vegas show, the owner strikes up a business relationship with the owner of PlatinumEroticTopSilverCashAdultMoney (PETSCAM) who can promise MASSIVE amounts of traffic for a few extra dollars PPS payout. He takes the bait. And minutes later his banner is appearing on exit consoles and in the members areas of the PETSCAM's gay sites. And his site is a pre-checked cross-sells on the PETSCAM's join forms.
The site suddenly starts converting at 1:2000. But everyone still wants a piece of the action. Webmaster are still cranking out the blog entries, free sites and galleries and posting the FHGs on every single TGP known to man. A few affiliates are even paying their mortgage with their straightfratboysfirsttimegaysexorgy checks.
The owner of straightfratboysfirstimegaysexorgy is now the envy of everyone in the business. He's thinking of getting a second home on an island somewhere... probably Phuket. He can afford it now. He's hired the best people to do the hard work and now it's time to enjoy his success.
But the affiliates are getting restless. The site has over 2,000 affiliates now. Nearly everyone in the business has a banner on a site somewhere. But conversions are now 1:5000.
The owner isn't concerned. Membership continues to increase every month. A year earlier, they started their new affiliate program GayMoneyCashDollarBucks and every VOD service is paying them a premium to show their movies exclusively. The new line of DVDs are in the stores and flying off of the shelves. They are putting out new websites every 6 months with the hottest models in the business doing the nastiest things imaginable. The newest site gayasiantwinkboybukkakecumfest.com is an instant success and the reviews are smashing! Nearly every affiliate is promoting the site right out of the gate.
He is sitting on his deck and looking out to the sea just beyond the infinity-edge pool and his young asian houseboy brings him a bowl of fresh-cut island fruit. The phone rings. His Vice President of Affiliate Relations is frantic. A few idiots are accusing the program of shaving on the premiere webmaster board GCY (gocopulateyourself.com).
The owner laughs! He hasn't shaved a signup ever! He hasn't ever had a need to do that. Every penny he's earned has been made honestly. But he's heard the accusations before. He even had a friend in the past that just opened a hot new site. And he was ruined instantly by crap like this.
He tell his VP to blame APS3 (Affiliate Program Software 3) for dropping sales down a black hole and switch immediately to the competitor NUTS (Next-generation Utility Tracking Software). The owner can't afford a backlash now.. he's planning on buying 30% of Montana next week and he's going to need some serious cash-flow. And he tells his VP to plan a $150 PPS bonus weekend to blind the masses with his generosity. And while he's at it... maybe it's time to pay the ransom and skin GCY with the company logos. The rumor was probably started by someone over there who was jealous anyways. So why not hold our enemies close?
Newer, hotter programs have come and gone. To this day, GayMoneyCashDollarBucks conversions are holding between 1:5000-10,000. Everyone thinks the program is old and tired, it's overexposed and the market is saturated with their product. And guess what...IT IS!
A few big affiliates still make serious bank. But many of the early affiliates see their sales trickle in at 1/10 of what they used to be "back in the day". And most webmaster claim not to promote them anymore. But somehow, those FHGs keep showing up everywhere. And billions of old SSbill and APS3 codes litter the internet hyperlinked from blinking banners featuring long retired models.
As the stooped, gray and weathered webmaster sits on his porch and stares out at his Montana and Wyoming land (he bought 13% of Wyoming too) , his house-cowboy brings him a bowl of mashed bananas. "Has the Mayo Clinic called about the liver transplant yet?"
He is 28 years old now. Those past 3 years seemed like an eternity.
Brokebarebackmountainstraightcowboys.com is converting 1:20
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