Actually, most real players in S&M are more about repect that degradation. While they might "degrade" their partners, the "degraded" are the ones who call the shots. One word and its all over.
Michael
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Actually, most real players in S&M are more about repect that degradation. While they might "degrade" their partners, the "degraded" are the ones who call the shots. One word and its all over.
Michael
I could not agree more.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dzinerbear
However, on the 'surface' I can see how those unaware of Safe, Sane and Consenual play might see things a lot different.
You learn something new everyday. I've not ventured into the S&M world before. I always thought it was someone in control and someone being controled with a bit of demeaning and nastiness mixed in :toff:
Yes, essentially that's the case. But most healthy players in S&M subscribe to the Safe, Sane and Consensual credo. So essentially you talk about your limits with your partner, your partner agrees to respect your limits and not go beyond them without your permission, and you establish a "safe" word, so that once you've truly had enough you just yell out "purple submarine" and the whole scene comes to a grinding stop. (A safe word is generally something other than "no" because often a part of the scene is role playing like pretending that you don't want to do something just so more of something else will happen, i.e. if you're extra bad you might get spanked more, although a good top will see this manoeuvre and withhold the spanking as punishment. :) )Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirt
So, perhaps you like to be spanked with hands, belts, and paddles, but not floggers and whips, and your other limitation is that the top should leave no marks. Your top will have to find a creative way to apply the corporal punishment and respect those limitations.
It's all about playing in a respectful way, which doesn't mean you won't be scared within an inch of your life, if you have no limitations about that.
Michael
I think that S&M in real life and on the internet are not always the same thing. Some responsible S&M sites make sure to end the scene with the abusee smiling and clearly happy with having been in the scene, but internet porn vicarious fantasy. Some viewers want their abuse abusive. Zombie Girl once told me that one of her billers was demanding that she show the girls on her pants wetting/desperation site smiling and enjoying themselves, but that would be ridiculous as who enjoys accidentally peeing their pants in public. The viewers demand realism, and her models generally found the scenes to be easy work, so she stuck to her guns.
I guess the whole point is that some viewers looking for S&M may be looking for S&M, others searching for abuse may be looking for realistic abuse. They don't care how well the models are treated, they just don't want that interjected into their fantasy. I think that porn surfers are more honest in what they watch than what they do in much of the rest of their lives. I think that people in powerless positions tend to look for someone to look down on or degrade. It seems that in the South way back when the poor white people felt better about themselves because they could look down on the poorer black people. In India they have racially/religiously motivated riots every so many years in which ordinary people commit terrifying atrocities against others. In the middle east you can go buy videos where terrorists behead people. When you're in internet porn you're giving people a consequence free environment, and as a consequence you're dealing with the way people are deep down, and not all people are as pretty as they appear on the surface. Some people want to see rape porn when they're alone on the internet; I, on the other hand, read web comics.
As for race, I didn't realize that so much thought went into it. Has anyone sued over discrimination? I've never sued over the fact that all my credit card offers that come in Spanish have much worse terms than the ones in English.
James,
The problem with the scenario you described above though, especially when it comes to 'online porn' is that it starts becoming less like S+M and more like obscenity... Its a very fine line but one that we, as adult webmasters, need to be certain not to cross and i think when we start talking about 'extreme' content, as in content that doesnt mimic real life S+M situations is where we're ultimately going to meet our downfall.
Lets not forget, the producers of 'obscene' content, 9 times out of 10 arent the ones who end up paying the price, just like 9 times out of 10 producers of child porn arent the ones who end up paying the price of the content, its legitimate content producers and adult webmasters that end up taking the brunt of this type of content because we all get smeared with the same brush as those pushing the limits above and beyond what is considered acceptable when it comes to online porn.
Regards,
Lee
Lee,
I agree with you. The adult industry does tend to be responsible, and needs to be responsible. The adult industry is the supply side, but the demand side is generally unencumbered by the need for responsibility. You are dealing directly with people's ids on the internet. Are there obscenity laws on content consumption, aside from child porn?
I'm just saying that consumers put money on the table, and porn producers can see what needs to be done to pick it up. Degradation totally messes up my groove, but a lot of straight porn producers don't seem to think porn that's respectful of women would sell too well. Of course others produce it porn respectful of women and they do fine.
While much of what the porn industry produces might not be tasteful, especially extreme content, it is at least honest. I wonder if our society might benefit if porn weren't the only place that disturbed people could be honest about who they are. You can't really help someone if you don't want to face the fact that they have a problem. Of course, there is the possibility that any sexual issue is ingrained and incurable, like pedophiles, and it is best just to plow under those people who we can't accept in society.