Patti it was more the 'legally' married thing.
Regards,
Lee
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Patti it was more the 'legally' married thing.
Regards,
Lee
Hammer, that was pretty fucked up because that wasn't my question. Your response had nothing to do with my question. Except that you were relating a few of the common missperceptions that "straight men" have about gay men and women, that cause homophobia and low self esteem and plenty of bad feelings for a lot of people, and can definately make them obsess about their sexuality.
Thank you everyone else for replying, nice answers.
my 2 cents: I love being me - being who I am includes my sexual preference. I think that everyone should accept who they are and be happy with that, it would make the world a much better place to live.
cheers,
Luke
lee - thanks. i am so used to people around me saying that sort of sarcastically that i sort of blanked it out as having an actual meaning.
Quote:
Originally posted by Lee
Patti it was more the 'legally' married thing.
Regards,
Lee
Dude, this is fucked up.Quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
I also have a beautiful wife to whom I am legally married and two incredible daughters and don't need to rely on having a pet to make my life complete, so I can't imagine why I would want to give any of that up.
I have a handsome husband that I've been with for 8.5 years and I don't need any government saying that we're "OK" or we're legal. We have a beautiful relationship that's based on complete openness, honesty, and respect. I would jump in front of a train for Ted.
And we have two great cats that we adopted last year from the Humane Society. This brother and sister team came into our lives in the midst of the most horrible year anyone could never hope to live. These two guys gave and gave and gave and showed us that there are more important things in life than the nasty shit that's staring you in the face.
To suggest that I "rely on having a pet to make my life complete" is way out of line. First of all, it implies that your children are completing yours. And if this is the case, you're in for a big disappointment because there's a hole inside of you that no one can fill except you. I feel privileged to have been allowed to bring these two kittens into our lives.
One of the things that I love about my relationship and being gay is that we seem to be better equipped than straight people in separating sex, love, and emotion. And this makes for a much more interesting and fun life.
As we head into Gay Pride week, I say, "Fuck no, I wouldn't change a damned thing."
Cheers
Dzinerbear
i have two children who are older than half the people i work with, but they don't complete my life because i was a complete person before i had them.
one of the cats here i found at birth and nursed with a bottle, every 3 hours, just like any baby. he didn't complete my life either, but he DID enrich it - i feel very special being allowed to save a life and to nurture another baby - human or animal, love is LOVE.
btw, why do so many men tell people their wives are beautiful? why isn't she intellegent or creative or nurturing or even loving - why is a woman's value as a wife always gotta be about her looks to normal people?
openness, honest and respect - i don't see enough of that out there.
i'm happy you have it in your life!
Quote:
Originally posted by Dzinerbear
I have a handsome husband that I've been with for 8.5 years and I don't need any government saying that we're "OK" or we're legal. We have a beautiful relationship that's based on complete openness, honesty, and respect.
Right on. Could you imagine introduced their husbands similarly, "This is my hot-butt husband."Quote:
Originally posted by basschick btw, why do so many men tell people their wives are beautiful? why isn't she intellegent or creative or nurturing or even loving - why is a woman's value as a wife always gotta be about her looks to normal people?
:)Dzinerbear
Are you suggesting that the only way gay people can make their lives complete is to have a pet? Lovers, family, good friends don't make your life complete? How about standing up for who you are in a world that doesn't always accept you? How about fighting to change this world to accept gay rights and same sex marriage? I'm sure a lot of gay people feel their lives are very complete.Quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
and don't need to rely on having a pet to make my life complete,
Unfortunately Gary-Alan and the rest of you apparently don't know sarcasm when you see it.
First, I said 'qualities that are commonly attributed to gays' I never said I thought they were real. My point was that it's possible to be straight and be no different than what gay men are stereotyped to be like, even if those qualities are more a stereotype than a fact.
The remark about the legal marriage is a true statement and was not intended to offend. I am all for gay marriages and hope some day soon you can all be legally married. Unfortunately right now there aren't many places you can be.
So, back to the original question which was do you wish you were straight, I answered the first response to that question which was a straight guy claiming he wished he was gay. I thought it was a ludicrous statement and made several sarcastic and facitious remarks to point out why it seemed so silly to be me. What possible reason would someone have for wanting to be gay? The only difference between us is that gay men prefer having sex with men and straight men prefer having sex with women. Other than that, the rest of it is all stereotyped bullshit. The only possible reason to want to be gay is because you think you'd rather have sex with men. Unless you believe that it's not possible for a straight man to have all of the qualities you attribute to a gay man.
Gary-Alan took offense at comments that I made to point out how crazy it is to not just see people as people and get off your high horses about how great it is to be gay.
Funny how he never responded to my post when I asked if I should be offended by the words that were appearing beneath my avatar at that time about how straight men are vanilla ice cream.
I guess it's ok for gays to say offensive comments about us straight guys that wander in here as long as it's their board.
While you might find the comment "straight men are vanilla ice cream" offensive, it's hardly offensive, it's a sexualization of straight men. It's totally different when you make comments that minimize or deprecate the life of a gay man.Quote:
Originally posted by Hammer
I guess it's ok for gays to say offensive comments about us straight guys that wander in here as long as it's their board.
Dzinerbear
i guess it depends on whether you like vanilla ice cream. to me, that would mean you're boring...
but it wasn't in any way clear that you were using sarcasm in your first post, and "I believe I already have all of the attributes that I admire in gay men. I'm caring and sensitive, I have a strong sense of fashion, I love to cook, I'm artistic, women have always liked me, men have always liked me and I have plenty of money." doesn't attribute these stereotypes to others but to you.
i honestly can't read that post as sarcasm, dry or otherwise, but next time you want to be sarcastic try this:
comment
I know im heading off on a tangent but just for the record lol
'Straight white men are the plain vanilla in the ice cream parlor of life.' Is a famous quote from Sean Hayes :)
Regards,
Lee
*runs and hides*
I'm not going to comment in relation to previous posts. More a statement of sorts.
I believe everyone has the right to choose who they live their life with. The relationship that those people have is theirs to love and to cherish and I'm happy for all people be they straight, bi, trans or gay being partnered with whoever makes them happy!
Allan
Hammer –
It seems like you singled out Gary when it appears that your comments offended quite a few of us. Personally, I felt like you were saying my life was somehow less complete because I do not have children and I cannot legally get married to my partner. Yes, I find that offensive. It’s something we expect to hear on other boards, but not here.
As far as welcoming straight people to the board, we have quite a few straight men and women that post here daily and are welcomed with open arms. In fact, I don’t even know the sexual orientation of many of the posters here, and frankly don’t care… provided they are respectful to the other community members, regardless of whether that is sexual orientation, race, gender, religion, etc.
To your point about what possible reason would anyone have to want to be gay, I can think of many. For starters, the sense of community. In the industry, and in the world in general. I can go to any city in the country and find a gay directory. I can go to restaurants, bars, bookstores, beaches, etc. where I have at least one thing in common with the other patrons. There are social groups, singles groups, dinner clubs, gay travel companies, chat boards, record labels, radio stations, political groups, etc. all dedicated to the small minority that I am fortunate enough to be a part of.
Not to mention the support I have personally received from the gay community in this industry. When I made the leap to go out and start consulting again, I was overwhelmed with people who wanted to help me, recommend me, send me work, do whatever they could to help me succeed, and I know my business wouldn’t have come together as quickly as it did without their support.
The main point here is that many of us deal with discrimination on a daily basis and don’t want to have to deal with it here.