Help me explain to my boyfriend...

i have rarely seen a straight men around lesbians who wasn't sexually aggressive. i have rarely seen a woman around gay men who was sexually aggressive.

mind - i say rarely, not never. both happen.

some women do come onto gay men, but mostly women i meet in gay clubs are simply women who like hanging out with men without all the sexual pressure or judgement. i know straight single women who still don't like the way men treat them in clubs, but love to go dancing, so they go to gay clubs, which are always more fun.

lesbians have been raped by straight men but i've never heard of any gay men who were raped by straight women. i knew a lesbian who was followed home by a straight guy who saw her in a club and stalked her for months. i know straight guys who go to gay pride to try to pick up lesbians - two by pretending to be gay, and no these are NOT friends of mine.

and steve, i, too know lesbians that would rather not hang with gay guys.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Growl Girl
However, he says you didn't explain why gay males are not threatened by straight women.He says...how come the lesbian women don't want to welcome straight men but the gay guys will welcome anyone. Oh, and he's not trying to be argumentitive...it's just a psychology question he guesses.Growl

---

I am not threatened by straight women because I'm comfortable with who I am sexually. I don't feel like I have anything to prove to a woman except that I'm a nice, caring guy with some good things to say.

Lesbian women don't want to welcome straight men because, again generally speaking, so many lesbians have been sexually abused by straight men, and straight men have a long-standing tradition of thinking with their cocks and believing that all lesbians just need a good fucking to turn them around.

Straight women don't usually want to get us into bed, they want to talk about their feelings, they want us to do they're hair, they want to talk design tips, they want to go shop. :goof:

Dzinerbear

Ok I figure my 2c as a straight guy (well at least today) on a "gay" board and also from years of experience in the club scene (owner, manager, bouncer AND customer).....

Sounds like your boyfriend treats it all as some type of "freakshow" all round... what's this experiment BS?

A homophobe in the "wrong" crowd (for them) stands out like the proverbial dog's balls.

Same as a neo-Nazi would at a Bar Mitzvah.

If people sense you are either:
a) Not comfortable
or
b) There for the wrong reasons

They will generally send you energy that is more to the negative than the positive.

If you are genuine, it doesn't matter where you are or who you are with, people will work that out.

There is an old Aussie band, The Warumpi Band, which sang a song called "True Fella":

Black fella, white fella
Any fella
Doesn't matter, what yer colour
As long as you true fella

May that attitude propogate widely to make the world a better place for us all.

In the meantime, I'll take you and your boyfriend to join some friends of mine at the local Bandidos bike gang clubhouse.

Bet he gets a lot more thna strange looks when he walks in there.

My 2c and just one man's opinion.

:bandana:

CuriousToyBoy - what can i do but agree?

As someone who moderates a lesbian board and runs a high traffic website for lesbians, I'd have to say that Michael got a good deal of it correct. If it's a lesbian board, those that come to it to post and share their lives want to be able to do so freely, without explanations. Yes, it's an illusion of security and safety, since in reality anyone can stop by and read, but it's an illusion that is highly defended if men do find the balls to post there.

I know some of the women don't mind if a man posts, but others are extremely aggitated by it. Guess it's akin to a guy wanting to be part of a girl's night out. While I certainly encourage that both sexes interact on social levels, there are just some things that should still allow a little segregation of the sexes. There are times when the guys want guy time and vice versa. Including the opposite sex on occasion will be tolerated, but it's not particualarly something they want on every outing or board or club.

As to this BOARD - it's for anyone marketing or wanting to learn about the gay porn market. It's a business board that just happens to also have some tremedously interesting, warm, intelligent and funny people of various orientations that post to it.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Sana Chan
I am a straight female

---

Damn Sana Chan, we have to hook up ;)

Cheers,

Allan

Most boards have an established culture, take this board for example, all are welcome to post and whilst doing business we also have fun.

But take a board where females are the only ones to ever post, the message is generally quite clear, females are welcome and males and whilst this doesn't often happen in reverse it's understandable.

Does your boyfriend also wonder why he's not welcome in a ladies bathroom???? There are certain things that are discussed that they don't want male opinions on and IMHO if they don't want my opinion then that's fine with me and i move on.

Why doesn't your bf just look at it from the perspective that if he's not welcome then you just move on, find a great board like GWW and enjoy the sense of community and fun.

Cheers,

Allan

Quote:

---

Originally posted by ozmalegalleries
Most boards have an established culture, take this board for example, all are welcome to post and whilst doing business we also have fun.

But take a board where females are the only ones to ever post, the message is generally quite clear, females are welcome and males and whilst this doesn't often happen in reverse it's understandable.

Does your boyfriend also wonder why he's not welcome in a ladies bathroom???? There are certain things that are discussed that they don't want male opinions on and IMHO if they don't want my opinion then that's fine with me and i move on.

Why doesn't your bf just look at it from the perspective that if he's not welcome then you just move on, find a great board like GWW and enjoy the sense of community and fun.

Cheers,

Allan

---

ditto what plantboy just said...

and another reason your bf might not be welcomed in a lesbian
only - situation is that: (see pic below)

~Bell

Quote:

---

Originally posted by ozmalegalleries
Damn Sana Chan, we have to hook up ;)

Cheers,

Allan

---

Aww Allan, I dun know if you'd like me. Besides, I have a strong Asian boy fetish so you'd have to really try.

Sana

Quote:

---

Originally posted by CuriousToyBoy
If people sense you are either:
a) Not comfortable
or
b) There for the wrong reasons

They will generally send you energy that is more to the negative than the positive.

If you are genuine, it doesn't matter where you are or who you are with, people will work that out.

---

I think this is true... what are your intentions of being there? Your true intentions?

I'm a straight man. While on vaction in Miami last year, myself and a straight guy friend ended up in a lesbian bar. We love to go dancing at gay bars and thought it was a gay bar. But it was a lesbian bar. We sat at the bar and the bar tender knew we were straight right away. The long of the short is, she gave us free drinks all night. We danced, we hung out with everyone there. We were so welcome and were never given any attitude at all. We just wanted a good time. Nothing sexual. It is still one of the best party nights I've ever had. I think you're boyfriend is wrong. I think if you're honest and good intentions they will welcome you.

There are a lot of good perspectives here. I have to agree that if lesbians are concerned about straight men posting on their socail boards, or going to lesbian bars, it proably comes from fear based on experience. I'm not a big bar hopper these days, but I can think of many times in the past when straight men came into a bar I was in looking for trouble. When that happens so often, you get to be a little skeptical. I used to frequent this little neighborhood lesbian bar near a marine base....it was pretty common for the young marines to come in and try and stir things up.

On the other hand, I've experienced straight men coming into the bars with their lesbian friends or even straight girlfriends, just to dance and hang out. I think its all about the attitude. It is usally pretty clear pretty quickly what someone's intentions are in that type of situation.

As has been stated, this is a business board for the gay adult web market. If it was a gay mens social board, I wouldn't be posting. If someone goes to the trouble to create a social board for a specific group, I assume there is a reason.

Quote:

---

I'm not a big bar hopper these days

---

Having problems getting in with that humping dog attached to your leg??

lmao will i ever live that down???