omg I'm way too lazy to catch up on the discussion in this thread! *leaves*
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omg I'm way too lazy to catch up on the discussion in this thread! *leaves*
It's actually been going on for years in Toronto, too. It's been tough telling if guys are gay or European.
And the guy who sits at the desk next to me is the gayest guy in the office, but is one of two straight guys here.
Go figure.
You know it's funny becasue the same thing has been going on for years with people I know. When I was in NY most men, 35 and under didn't have a hard time discussing moisturizers, conditions and the like. At that time I thought of myself as a manicure queen - weekly manicures, pedicures and facials. I was more surprised when I found a place closer to the office that most of the straight men I worked with came too. We'd make appointments and all go together.Quote:
Originally posted by Ounique
The funny thing is that this has been going on in Hollywood years before it caught on in the mainstream. I remember reading an article in a gay magazine about five years ago (just before I moved here) that said something about being carefull of who you hit on because even the straight guys look gay here. LOL!!!
If they could see my split ends now they'd be laughing I'm sure.
We did talk about where the idea that it was ok to "primp" came from at one point. And it seemed that everyone's mom made it clear that men should not fear having fun with their hair (color it, cut it, gel it whatever), get manicures it makes you look good and the like. I know my mom always made it clear to her three boys that it perfectly ok to do all of this. But it was great to hear that it came from others as well.
In the mid 80's we used to have a joke that came from a line in Torch Song Triology "... then you go into the bathroom and there is a dish with all these colored soaps, hair conditioners and face creams for miles." But it's not only a gay thing, you can find them in your straight friends bathrooms too LOL
Gary-Alan
Quote:
Originally posted by Jasun
And the guy who sits at the desk next to me is the gayest guy in the office, but is one of two straight guys here.
Go figure.
My guess hes playing hard to get - show a bit of leg hun :groovy:
I grew up in a small german mennonite town called Kitchener where the only good thing to come out of it was the highway to Toronto. Something like that would never happen, although I wish it would have. I didnt really start having fun till I hit Toronto in the early 80s and even though I was in seminary I would sneak out to visit the gay bars around town (*saying I was doing a paper on the culture) but always felt more at home with those who were real and honest with who they were - it was very liberating.Quote:
Originally posted by Gary-Alan
When I was in NY most men, 35 and under didn't have a hard time discussing moisturizers, conditions and the like. At that time I thought of myself as a manicure queen - weekly manicures, pedicures and facials.
In the mid 80's we used to have a joke that came from a line in Torch Song Triology "... then you go into the bathroom and there is a dish with all these colored soaps, hair conditioners and face creams for miles." But it's not only a gay thing, you can find them in your straight friends bathrooms too LOL
Gary-Alan
You know though ... regardless of sexual orientation, people tend to go to extremes primarily because they are unhappy. With those guys it sounds like they WANTED to look out of place and shove their attitude into everyone's face just so you would see just how unhappy and angry they really were. Every generation has had it's rebellion, whether it was bellbottoms and blacklight posters, or body piercings... but it's a growing up statement that (hopefully) molds and generates the character of the evolving adult persona. Bringing it into play at their age merely screams a much deeper problem.Quote:
It was just really interesting to see these guys who totally didn't fit their look in any way shape or form. I don't think I would have even noticed them if it weren't for the fact that they were being so obnoxious. It doesn't matter what a person's physical looks are, good or bad, when you're a miserable person, you are ugly regardless.
I can agree with you to a point. But I've always been into piercings, tattoos, and extreme looks. I actually used to be a lot more extreme than I am now. Multi-colored hair, leather jacket with chains and spikes all over it, ripped clothes. I still like a lot of those things but it's just not me anymore. I guess it was rebellion, in a way. I didn't fit in with the so-called normal people, so why even try. I still live mostly outside the mainstream in many ways, but it's a little less obvious now. But it was never about being unhappy, it was always just fun for me. I liked looking different. And the things I do now (shave my head, wear leather, whatever) are a lot more conformist because I hang out with others who do the same, LOL! I guess it's a case of "be different, just like me". LOL!Quote:
Originally posted by LdyLnWolf1
You know though ... regardless of sexual orientation, people tend to go to extremes primarily because they are unhappy. With those guys it sounds like they WANTED to look out of place and shove their attitude into everyone's face just so you would see just how unhappy and angry they really were. Every generation has had it's rebellion, whether it was bellbottoms and blacklight posters, or body piercings... but it's a growing up statement that (hopefully) molds and generates the character of the evolving adult persona. Bringing it into play at their age merely screams a much deeper problem.
Maybe I'm a little pathetic, but I still shave my head, have lots of piercings, tattoos, still wear my Slayer shirts and hang out at metal clubs.
I was born in 1964 and I was a bit of a sissy until I started J.R. High. I survived because I was funny and the girls liked me. I was also very small so the bullies never picked on me because it would have been too easy. It didn't hurt that the biggest guy in the class was always my best friend.
In J.R. High and High School I had to butch it up a bit. I managed to blend into the crowd. I kinda figured out that I was gay but supressed it very well. At this time of my life... more than anything... I didn't want to be different. I even had a high school sweetheart.
Then came college and I became more "urban". I started to listen to electronic music and dance music (thank you Bronski Beat, Erasure and The Pet Shop Boys). I continued to (infrequently) date women... god, I hated that! I gradually began to morph into a prehistoric metrosexual. I was essentially a gay men in deep, deep denial. I still didn't want to be too different! Besides, what I knew of gay men... I thought they all had lisps and limp wrists, I MOST DEFINATELY wasn't like that and I wasn't attracted to girlie men.
In the early 90's, I was a full-blown metrosexual... clubbin' in my Armani, gelled hair and stylish goatee... whee! I was having a blast! But for some odd reason... I never managed to pick-up the ladies?! I thinks I was giving off a gay vibe and the women seemed to sense that. My roomate, at the time, was a slob and he was bringing girls home all of the time.
And then it happened... I met a really cool party girl. She was a make-up artist and had tons of girlie gay friends. She thought I was cool, too. We liked the same music, I dressed very well and was sensitive. She asked me jokingly several times, "Are you sure your not gay? Haha." We became romantically involved... it wasn't the most natural relationship for me, but it was ok sexually. SHWEW! I must be straight! Now I can live a normal life!
Of course I had lot's of platonic crushes on guys... but they weren't "gay" men... they were always stocky, hairy, balding straight guys. I rationalized that since they weren't gay men, my crushes were just normal friendships.
The party girl and I dated and married and began to build a life together. We continued to party and go clubbing... she a lot more than me.
And then we got a computer...
Of course I began to clumsily surf the internet... looking for porn. "GEE, why am I always looking at the dick and not the pussy? Hmm... what are these "bears"? Gosh... look at these guys in leather! These guys are GAY and they are not GIRLIE!"
EUREKA!
Needless to say, the marriage fell apart. Ironically, not because I realized I was gay, but because of her raging alcoholism.
I was free at last! Now to find the bears and leather guys. Minneapolis is not the hub for butch guys. But I managed to find The Minneapolis Eagle.
Not only was I free... I was home!
Good bye Armani - Hello Levi's!
Goodbye gelled hair - Hello buzzcut!
Goodbye Ferragamo - Hello workboots!
Goodbye neatly trimmed facial hair - Hello beard!
Now I'm just a normal gay man with a normal life that I share with my 2 dogs and my stocky, hairy, balding partner. And I couldn't be happier!
Sorry for making a long thread even longer... but I guess the moral of my story is... beware the metrosexual... he may just be a very confused gay man masquerading as a straight man!
I'm Metrosexual and proud :)
50 Metrosexuals :fracais:
Story of my life, Xstr8guy!!! Nice to hear someone else say it. I was so deep in denial my knees were wet! (get it? hee hee)Quote:
Originally posted by Xstr8guy
I was essentially a gay men in deep, deep denial. I still didn't want to be too different! Besides, what I knew of gay men... I thought they all had lisps and limp wrists, I MOST DEFINATELY wasn't like that and I wasn't attracted to girlie men.
But what are you in the suburbs?? ;)Quote:
Originally posted by pornJester
I'm Metrosexual and proud :)
Don't throw them away send them to me!!! LOL Actually, X, as Iread your post I totally could relate.Quote:
Originally posted by Xstr8guy
Good bye Armani - Hello Levi's!
Goodbye gelled hair - Hello buzzcut!
Goodbye Ferragamo - Hello workboots!
Goodbye neatly trimmed facial hair - Hello beard!
Sorry for making a long thread even longer... but I guess the moral of my story is... beware the metrosexual... he may just be a very confused gay man masquerading as a straight man!
While we probably didn't dress the same the life was similar - although I dressed in black by night with long coats looking like a vampire walking the night LOL When I would go out our neighbor across the street would yell to me, "Hey Bat Man where ya going?" But the hair was perfect, the clothes were tops and everything in between was the best. I was dating two people - one woman, one guy. Totally denying the facts to myself - to the point that even though I was sleeping with a guy, I was cancelling out the fact that I was gay by having sex with a woman - don't ask me how but I rationalized it in my head somehow. I was going to take the step and ask Maggie to marry me. And the day I decide I couldn't do it and had to fess up, she had a similar epiphony and told me she was dating another woman. It was denial all around in my world.
A lot has changed since then... And the relief that comes with being myself and being with Lee and everythgin that goes along with that is so much better than my Metrosexual life.
Deep deep denial? Been there, done that... and totally... TOTALLY agree with you.
Gary-Alan
PS: Never apologize for posting, especially when you're sharing your thoughts! ;)
hahaha so true... We (my partner and i) always go to a lesbian bar, and we used to play pool there sometimes with some girl friends... I couldn't believe all those nasty looks we got from your own community because we were guys playing with their sticks :)) Of course, we totally didn't care. Some of them sometimes used to come closer and say with their "manly" voice which i find totally funny "Aren't there any guy bars in Dallas?"... Or we had one time "Damn, the lesbians here get uglier and uglier"... That one was hilarious coming from a big ole nasty "thing"! anyway, what you said Don made me laugh so wanted to tell you my little story... Good thing now is we know everybody working there including the manager which is now a good friend of ours so nobody messes with us anymore :) and we can play with our stick whenever we want too :)Quote:
Originally posted by Ounique
I think LA has a few lesbian places. I went to one where they had rotating clubs (a different 'club' each night of the week) and they were doing "Girl Bar". I was the only guy there and I felt really out of place. Got a lot of nasty looks. But I just danced and had a good time. I was there with a lesbian couple I'm friends with so it was all about them.