The BDSM Niche

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07-13-2004, 01:03 PM
Ounique

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
Don't tempt me, hon. That sort of thing would be right up my alley, especially since I'm a local Mentor. :)

Really? Right on. I'm all about mentorship and education. Kudos to you. Where are you from anyway?

Want me to bring my set of them to Florida? I'll be delighted to share them. (oh, sooooo good...)

Actually, though, they're not exactly "straight." There's a great deal of M/M and a good F/F scene, especially in the final book. The first book is mostly straight, but in the second Anne Rice starts really playing with homosexuality. (No pun intended.)

I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make it to Florida. We almost always do the Vegas Expo. I did not know that about the Beauty books, now I'm going to have to get them. Very cool.
07-13-2004, 01:07 PM
Tala

Quote:

Originally posted by Ounique
Really? Right on. I'm all about mentorship and education. Kudos to you. Where are you from anyway?

I currently live in Tennessee. Land of the hopeless armed redneck thumpers. Get me OUT of here!!

Quote:

I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make it to Florida. We almost always do the Vegas Expo. I did not know that about the Beauty books, now I'm going to have to get them. Very cool.

:( I was looking forward to meeting you. Hopefully I can head over to the Vegas Expo. :)
07-13-2004, 01:13 PM
Ounique

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
I currently live in Tennessee. Land of the hopeless armed redneck thumpers. Get me OUT of here!! :( I was looking forward to meeting you. Hopefully I can head over to the Vegas Expo. :)

If we don't meet until then, then I hope we at least meet in Vegas. You should come to LA. If you're into the bdsm lifestyle there is a wonderful community here, both straight and gay, with many fine clubs for both. (I think everyone should live in LA, heh heh)
07-16-2004, 01:43 PM
Buck Angel

Well Bec I was gonna give you some info but it looks like it's all taken care of here!!
You got some really great feedback on the lifestyle. As you know I am a lifestyler and have a 24/7 live in slave. We practice between Old Guard and New..and I think there is a difference between gay BDSM/SM and straight from my experience.

WOOF!
Buck
07-16-2004, 02:35 PM
Tala

Quote:

Originally posted by Buck Angel
Well Bec I was gonna give you some info but it looks like it's all taken care of here!!
You got some really great feedback on the lifestyle. As you know I am a lifestyler and have a 24/7 live in slave. We practice between Old Guard and New..and I think there is a difference between gay BDSM/SM and straight from my experience.

WOOF!
Buck

I do believe there is a difference between gay and straight BDSM, which is why I'm interested in learning about those differences. I can't help it: I'm a knowledge junkie. :)
07-16-2004, 02:51 PM
Ounique

I'm exactly the same way Tala. I'm never so excited as when I meet someone who is into something I'm not familliar with. I recently became friends with a guy who's into the adult baby scene. We've had endless hours of discussion on our various fetishes and interests. We have a lot more then just fetish in common and we've grown to be quite good friends, but our mutual interest in each other's headspace as made for quite some interesting conversations.
07-16-2004, 03:09 PM
Bec

Quote:

Originally posted by Buck Angel
Well Bec I was gonna give you some info but it looks like it's all taken care of here!!
You got some really great feedback on the lifestyle. As you know I am a lifestyler and have a 24/7 live in slave. We practice between Old Guard and New..and I think there is a difference between gay BDSM/SM and straight from my experience.

WOOF!
Buck

I know, the stuff that got posted is awesome so far! What an education! But I'm certainly wanting to learn more about the differences in BDSM practices between straight and gay participants. Anything more on this that anyone can share will certainly be welcome information!
07-17-2004, 02:00 PM
Buck Angel

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
I do believe there is a difference between gay and straight BDSM, which is why I'm interested in learning about those differences. I can't help it: I'm a knowledge junkie. :)

I find that Gay BDSM is a bit more sexual and about getting off and straight BDSM seems to be more about the power exchange..not always of course and this is from my own personal experience.

WOOF!
Buck
07-17-2004, 02:08 PM
Bell

Quote:

Originally posted by Ounique
I'm exactly the same way Tala. I'm never so excited as when I meet someone who is into something I'm not familliar with. I recently became friends with a guy who's into the adult baby scene. We've had endless hours of discussion on our various fetishes and interests. We have a lot more then just fetish in common and we've grown to be quite good friends, but our mutual interest in each other's headspace as made for quite some interesting conversations.

perk... AB
is he into gay only AB play ??

~Bell

p.s. I bet it's hard for him to find a sitter... has he ever done that ??
07-19-2004, 02:21 PM
Ounique

Quote:

Originally posted by Bell
perk... AB
is he into gay only AB play ??

~Bell

p.s. I bet it's hard for him to find a sitter... has he ever done that ??

Acutally, he's got a Daddy. Very interesting relationship. They were boyfriends, and he told the guy all about his AB interests, but he wasn't really interested in persuing that. Then they broke up, both explored their own interests, and eventually got back together under the context of Daddy and (adult)boy. He's not a total adult baby, he gets more into the headspace of being a 3 or 4 year old. He's really cool. :)
07-19-2004, 03:06 PM
Ounique

Quote:

Originally posted by Bec
I know, the stuff that got posted is awesome so far! What an education! But I'm certainly wanting to learn more about the differences in BDSM practices between straight and gay participants. Anything more on this that anyone can share will certainly be welcome information!

I think, IMHO, that straight people get a lot more into the fantasy of BDSM. Gay people often have to go through a coming out process already, so when it comes to being kinky, it's not quite such an ordeal. Not that it isn't an ordeal and a lot choose to hide their kinky interests, but at least we have some experience coming out of the "second closet". And you find that leather is a little more acceptable in the gay community. There's still ignorance and bias, I've had vanilla people say to me "oh, you're one of those leather people, or they assume I'm into all kinds of really extreme things like doing animals or getting the crap beaten out of me for fun. But even with all that, it's still nowhere near what a straight person has to go through. Society really has it out for straight kinky people. So they usually have to be very much more guarded about thier interests and lifestyle and I think this manifests itself in a very active fantasy life.

I was recently at a party in a straight play space. While gay men's dungons are usually all done in black leather with a very dark feel to them, this place has a school room for teacher/student fantasies, a boudoir for forced fem or crossdressing men, a medical room and many others. I'm not saying that gay men don't indulge in fantasy, but in general it's more about the connection and the toys than the whole atmosphere, I think. Of course, there are exceptions to any rule.

And, commenting on what Buck said. I know a lot of gay leather people who are more into the play than the actual sex, but there are a lot of people who get into the sex-in-leather thing too, possibly more of the latter. I guess there are two schools of thought on it.
07-22-2004, 11:19 PM
Bec

You mention parties and dungeon parties -- is that how I would classify sets that have more than 2 participants? Are these the equivalent of saying "orgy" or "bi" type porn groupings?
07-23-2004, 09:54 AM
shaun

Another difference between straight and gay Leather.

Gay Leathermen are attractive. Straight Leathermen.... well... they really shouldn't be sceneing in cutoffs and a t-shirt, but frequently they do.

I am a BDSM fetish vet (as well as being a femsub who identifies as a gay boy - never mind...)

The biggest recommendation I could make on your sites is to keep the het side divided... do NOT mix a femdom site with a femsub site. Absolutely not. Also, with the femsub site, you are best off having no men in the picture (a hand, an arm - but definately no face...) - tie the girl up and shoot her, or have another girl dom her. Straight men who fantasize about sub women are into projecting themselves into the scene.

Finally - I don't know if this has been covered yet... but the rule is if someone is tied up, penetration is r*pe. This is true even if the girl is smiling. So, you can show the girls bound hands, and in the next shot, go from the elbows down, and you are safe. You can also be whipping the heck out of a bound girl - needles, etc... but penetration is the risk.

To my knowlege, the only WEB prosectution regarding obscentiy and BDSM was in Canada with Sweet Erotica (they won) - Sweet is about the best source of your straight content as well. He will cut a deal to shoot exclusive for you - which makes marketing much easier.
07-23-2004, 12:50 PM
Ounique

Quote:

Originally posted by Bec
You mention parties and dungeon parties -- is that how I would classify sets that have more than 2 participants? Are these the equivalent of saying "orgy" or "bi" type porn groupings?

I honestly have never been to an "orgy", per se. I always picture them as happening in a house, with lots of shag carpeting and bad 70's music going on. There are a few different kinds of play parties. Some take place in fully stocked play spaces that are geared for such events, and smaller ones can take place in private homes. The main activitiy at the parties I've been to are bdsm, not really sex. While some sex can happen, people usually go there to play. I did go to a party once where it did break out into a big suck and fuck fest, but a well organized play party is usually about the "play" and not so much about the "sucking and fucking". Of couse, this is all from my experience only.
07-23-2004, 12:52 PM
Ounique

Quote:

Originally posted by Ounique
I honestly have never been to an "orgy", per se. I always picture them as happening in a house, with lots of shag carpeting and bad 70's music going on. There are a few different kinds of play parties. Some take place in fully stocked play spaces that are geared for such events, and smaller ones can take place in private homes. The main activitiy at the parties I've been to are bdsm, not really sex. While some sex can happen, people usually go there to play. I did go to a party once where it did break out into a big suck and fuck fest, but a well organized play party is usually about the "play" and not so much about the "sucking and fucking". Of couse, this is all from my experience only.

oh, and um... pardon my french. I couldn't think of a better way of describing it and still make my point. :hmmph:

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