Btw, I love L.A. I'm just jealous because I can't afford to live there.
Printable View
Btw, I love L.A. I'm just jealous because I can't afford to live there.
We can not blame the media for peoples obsession with beauty even young baby’s respond better too better looking people its just part of our make-up.
Now for people that can not stand back and see their are some EVER exasperated problems in the gay community are self delusional a bit. I would say 85% of everything about the gay community has to do with sex another 10% has to do with the ramifications of said sex and only the last 5% has to do with anything else. Fetishism is ramped in the gay community, I would say about 10x of the str8 community, now I am not saying gay people are child molesters or anything but their is a whole lot of dysfunction around here that many of us can not see or just try to justify for one reason or another.
LOL! It's cheaper than New York or San Francisco! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Xstr8guy
You can actually live in L.A. pretty cheaply. Or relatively cheaply. Though I must confess, my one-bedroom apartment here is double what it cost me to live in a three bedroom duplex back in Pennsylvania...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xstr8guy
Ya well its way over rated, Dallas is cool I would be happy :thumbsup:
Quote:
Originally Posted by maxpower
Exactly! Wow, Max, I'm agreeing with you. :)
I do, however, think there is a certain amount of blame you can pinpoint on the media for perpetuating certain ideas of conventional beauty and superficiality, but it must be said that the public at large supports that same superficiality. It's the "chicken or the egg" debate all over again. Which comes first?
So much of our behavior gets swept under the carpet and justified in one way or another that it never gets properly analyzed and understood. We shrug it off by saying, "That's just how I am, so why question it?"
I'm pretty analytical, but I'm also pretty evolved. I understand just about every thought I have and why I have them, and I can pretty much pinpoint exactly where my own unique fetishes come from (older guys fill my "father hunger" issues, having sex in cars comes from my very first sexual experience with another man in the front seat of my Ford EXP, etc.). Which makes it easier for me to choose which ones I think are healthiest for me to partake in and which ones are not good for my self-esteem and/or health.
Again, I come from a background in psychology (I studied it intensively for two years before I decided to make the move into theater and then writing--three professions that are, in fact, intrinsically linked by many common threads, the biggest one being the documentation of human behavior), so I'm always taking shit apart and attempting to analyze it and understand it. I know that comes from a desire on my part to understand who I am as a person and what makes me who I am so that I can live the most informed, happy life that I can.
Not for everyone, I acknowledge, and it is hard for me sometimes to just "go with the flow" and not OVERthink things. But in the long run, I just think it's better for ME if I can account for myself at all times. And, for the most part, I can. That doesn't make me better, and I certainly don't have a corner market on what's right or wrong, but I can speak from a well-informed opinion just the same.
Well we all know the egg came first with out the small mutation we would not have the chicken, but be careful XXXWriterDude if you are agreeing with me you must be on really shaky ground :honest:
I will quote a movie now it that is ok before the attacks start
“Only a Sith believes in absolutes”
http://www.mtv.com/shared/media/news...venge_sith.jpg
I feel that saying a community of people being "plagued" by something labels our community as defective and unable to adapt or cope.Quote:
Originally Posted by XXXWriterDude
Has it ever occurred to you that people who enter certain subsets of the Gay community (i.e. West Hollywood Gay clubbing community) and find it repulsive don't participate in that part of the community?
Have you ever set your sites on the Los Angeles Gay volunteering community to weed out all their imperfections?
How about the Los Angeles Gay seniors community? The Los Angeles Gay parents community? How bout the Gay couples groups?
I have participated in those communities; do you participate in those communities? I suspect you don't or your insight would go to a depth I haven't seen in your posts on this topic yet. I'm no fan of L.A. as a city but our Gay community there, and in So Cal in general, is more developed then any I've seen to date anywhere in the world.
The Gay community is not defective.
We're all people trying to find our way in life, each on our own path, just like every human being on this planet. If you label us as plagued then that's what you'll project in your writings and general outlook to others, as you have here. just my .00002cents
Wanna talk developed...that is West Hollywood here in L.A.
These people have it together. We moved from Miami and have not looked back (except to say how great it is here)!
Lee
I just spent an hour reading this thread... fascinating stuff. My own take on this is that being gay, like being a woman, Jewish, or any other "opressed minority" you're born into, carries some of those intrinsic complexes that KK explained so well. I see no contradiction between those being inherent problems for many gay people, and them being prevalent among women or any other minority, like basschick pointed out so well.
Here's an interesting point. I'm seeing similar patterns of insecurity/self-hate and other complexes with Jewish people in America that I met online, in regards to them being Jewish. I feel free of those complexes, being Jewish is practically a non-issue for me, since I grew up in Israel (still live here) and being Jewish means the opposite of an opressed minority here.
I once asked my husband how would he feel if one of our sons was to tell us he's gay (plenty of time for that lol, they are only 2 and 4 ;)). I was surprised to hear that it would make him sad, but he explained that being gay means belonging to a minority that still suffers from prejudice and harassment. He said that for their own happiness and well-being, he prefers to have male, Jewish (again, not a minority here), heterosexual children. It will simply make life a whole lot easier for them.
My point being that belonging to an opressed minority has its toll. I know that as a woman. I'm sure the same is true of being gay. It also has its merits, IMHO, making you a more sensitive and open minded person all around, but comes with a price tag attached.
I think I hate the view of others and society in general about gays and just not being accepted. I think if society was more accepting more people would come out and being gay would be way more accepted. Though it is slowly getting there.
I also just hate the drama that come from gay guys more. This is probably why 85% of my friends are straight. The gay ones are just too flaky, too much drama or cause problems with my boyfriend and myself.
Mark
damn this thread is way too long to read all of now, I'll save it for a rainy day. :P
LOL, thanks Lloyd, that's really sweet. :kiss:Quote:
Actually there is another term that may apply to you. As far as the sleeping part, I wish I was Asian. There are some lucky boys in Thailand....
I just read (95%) of this thread and the one thing I didn't see mentioned...
Is dealing with parents who can't accept a gay child...
Now my parents could have reacted much worse when I came out, so in some regard I'm not complaining much. But they also don't go around and tell people that I'm in a 10 year relationship with a man. They are still embarrassed to tell their friends they have a gay son. And to make matters even worse, my only other sibling, a younger sister... is a lesbian herself. So my parents have two kids, both gay... They funny part is, my dad seems less concerned about it, its my mother who is the one that gets all uptight when it comes to telling others. I mean, she's accepted my partner like a family member. She gives him birthday and Christmas gifts, always asks about him when we talk, and gets along with him fine. Its just that she won't open up and tell her friends. I'm sure if my partner had tits and a pussy, she's brag about her all the time!
My parents were cool when I came out to them, as well as when two cousins and a cousine came out :D
Figure that - 50% of all children in a family-bunch being homosexual :D
DEVELISH
I think in many ways, that is very accurate. I don't know that our community HAS figured out a successful way to cope with a lot of these problems, as they are still ongoing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirt
Yes, but I'm not talking about THOSE people, Squirt. Everyone knows there are exceptions. As far as I'm concerned, it's a given that there are many people in the community who do not represent the things I mention. And it should be a given to anyone else reading this post as well. But speaking in generalities makes for better copy. I mean ... duh. :)Quote:
Has it ever occurred to you that people who enter certain subsets of the Gay community (i.e. West Hollywood Gay clubbing community) and find it repulsive don't participate in that part of the community?
As a matter of fact, I'm in training at the GALC right now to be an HIV counselor. After being part of an HIV-prevention study last year, I felt a need to be more connected to the community and to find ways that I could help "weed out," as you say, the problems that I see being so prevalent.Quote:
Have you ever set your sites on the Los Angeles Gay volunteering community to weed out all their imperfections?
How about the Los Angeles Gay seniors community? The Los Angeles Gay parents community? How bout the Gay couples groups?
I have participated in those communities; do you participate in those communities? I suspect you don't or your insight would go to a depth I haven't seen in your posts on this topic yet.
The same gay community that chose Paris Hilton -- the very epitome of vacuousness and superficiality -- to be the spokesperson for L.A. gays? You and I see very different gay communities in L.A. then.Quote:
I'm no fan of L.A. as a city but our Gay community there, and in So Cal in general, is more developed then any I've seen to date anywhere in the world.
That's actually the intent, Squirt. It is my intention to get people thinking about things that have, for a long time, gone unchecked in our community. I talk to a lot of people in the gay community in L.A. -- I'm in the thick of things, after all, and I'm always out and about meeting people -- and I bring up a lot of these topics, and a lot of times people simply don't want to think about them, much less discuss them. I think too many of us are living with blinders on and not looking at how we can improve not only ourselves, but the community in general.Quote:
The Gay community is not defective.
We're all people trying to find our way in life, each on our own path, just like every human being on this planet. If you label us as plagued then that's what you'll project in your writings and general outlook to others, as you have here. just my .00002cents
I think there are MANY wonderful traits and qualities about the gay community, and I'm very happy to be a part of it, but I also see a lot of stuff that I think is unfortunate, and that is what I am focusing on. Social change only comes about by focusing on the things that need changing.
I came of age in college, where I was one of three or four men enrolled in the women's studies program, and I was totally woken up to a bevvy of issues that plague not only women, but the gay community as well, and part of me has always seen myself as an activist for social change, but one who uses his writing as his platform instead of rallies and protests.
Anyway, that's where I'm coming from at least. :)