National Coming Out Day

WASHINGTON — “Talk About It” will be the theme of this year’s National Coming Out Day, to be celebrated on Oct. 11, the Human Rights Campaign Foundation announced today. HRCF’s Coming Out Project is an ongoing campaign to empower gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and allied Americans to live openly and honestly about their lives.

“Every single time we talk about our lives as GLBT Americans, we are another step closer to equality,” said HRC President Joe Solmonese. “Each word helps build bridges that change hearts and minds — and eventually our laws.”

A poll of GLBT Americans last year showed that startling amounts of people not only conceal their sexual orientation or gender identity from people in their lives, but many people who consider themselves to be “out” also refrain from speaking to others about GLBT issues. Among the findings of the poll: only 3 percent of members of the GLBT community are out to their doctors, and less than half are out to their bosses at work.

“Obviously, coming out for the first time is important for leading a whole and complete life, but we also want to help encourage and empower people to talk openly about their lives each and every day,” said Mark Shields, director of the Coming Out Project.

Shields recently began as director of the Coming Out Project. Previously, he had served as deputy director of media relations at HRC, where he helped develop the organization’s messages and provided information and resources to reporters and news outlets.

The Coming Out Project is particularly focusing on supportive straight people and working to give them resources and opportunities to voice their support for equality.

“We will only achieve equality by growing the number of people who stand with us,” said Shields. “Every time a straight person speaks out against an anti-gay joke, or joins a gay-straight alliance, they are having a coming out experience. We want to honor that, and make sure it happens more often.”

In the coming weeks, new resources and materials will be made available and the Coming Out Project will continue to mobilize around Coming Out Day, but it is also working to help people be “out” every single day.

http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Sect...entDisplay.cfm

Not quite sure i understand the need for this but whatever floats your boat i guess.

Did anyone on GWW know that today was national coming out day?

Regards,

Lee

It's strange to come out just because you prefer to fuck men... I mean... when you think about it a bit more, it's strange we have to come out at all; people don't like to say who they voted for in previous elections saying "that's too personal" and on the other hand I am expected to come out and say how gay I am and how proud I am...

Am I considered gay if:
1. I like to fuck men
2. I don't live a gay lifestlye
3. I don't have gay friends or buddies
4. I am outed and have never been in the closet

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dalimili

It's strange to come out just because you prefer to fuck men... I mean... when you think about it a bit more, it's strange we have to come out at all; people don't like to say who they voted for in previous elections saying "that's too personal" and on the other hand I am expected to come out and say how gay I am and how proud I am...

Am I considered gay if:
1. I like to fuck men
2. I don't live a gay lifestlye
3. I don't have gay friends or buddies
4. I am outed and have never been in the closet

---

Thats what i mean, this is a Human Rights organization, in effect, labelling individuals as gay, shouldnt everyone be treated the same whether gay or straight by these people?

Regards,

Lee

i've never understood the logic of "comming out" i don't see straight teens suddenly bursting into chant ..."i'm straight! , i'm here! , get use to it!"...
i believe in "sexual freedom" for everyone but then again i can see the logic of goverment in the fact that gay couples ( male/male ~ female/female ) do not reproduce and the entire U.S tax system would collapse if we didn't have future tax payer$

sincerely ~ ..."in this life one thing counts , in the bank large amounts , charities fine subscribe to mine , you got to pick a pocket or two"... :goof:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lee

Did anyone on GWW know that today was national coming out day?
Lee

---

I never heard of it, until I saw this magazine cover announcing their appearance at the Las Vegas Coming Out Day. That got my attention.

I guess I am in the minority on this site, but I actually did "come out" on National Coming Out Day 12 years ago.... I was still in college and the university had a table set up outside the student center... It took me all day to get the guts to approach it, but I finally did, and met up with someone who was a member of the gay student group. We talked awhile and became good friends (and eventually roomates, but never sexual partners... too bad, he was hot too!) He became a mentor of sorts, and introduced me to other gay students and I quickly got to realize it wasn't so bad being gay...

I've never used the day to come out to others, but it was a safe way for me in college to finally accept what I had known about myself for a long time...

So for me, National Coming Out Day was a good thing and I was just telling people here at work about it actually...

Marc

Not sure what day I came out but I did know about today.

This is the first year in like 7 years they didn't have Gay Day Busch Gardens on Coming out day.

Straight people don't have to come out because they're already assumed to be straight. And no one has ever been ashamed to be straight or been afraid to come out as straight and to my knowledge, no one has ever had to agonize about telling their parents that they're straight.

Gay people have to do all that and more.

I thought I was past it all. I mean, I'm so out that even the guy at the coffee shop knows. But on Saturday Night I was in northern California hanging out in Bishop with my buddies in my gay biker's group, and while walking down the street arm-in-arm with on of my friends, a guy rolls down the window of his pick up truck and yells "Homos!" out at us.

We all kinda laughed and looked at each other (I thought people stopped using words like that in 7th Grade), and said "Well, duh". But it was odd.. I haven't been cat-called in ages.

We still have a lot further to go if we think that we're past the point where we need to come out every day.

And WTF? 3% are out to their doctors? What the fuck is wrong with people?

I'm not saying outing is a bad thing, it's just that I'm not sure if I should be forced to be outed. I have issues with that.

Who I fuck in the privacy of my home is my own business.

I shouldn't be cheered for being gay, I shouldn't be called names for being gay... I guess I hate the fact that it's such an issue and it suddenly concern everyone!

Fuck off, I mean, it's my bloody life and I don't need to be understood, I just want to be respected as a human being, not for being gay.

Great.

but being gay isn't about who you're fucking.

I'm gay even when I don't have a dick in my mouth.

Being gay isn't what you "do" it's what you "are". And by staying in the closet, you're perpetuating the idea that being gay is just a dirty secret.

It's not.

Or, at the very least, it shoudln't be.

Thing only become normalized when they're not an issue, and by keeping it a big secret, you make it a big issue.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you make bigots appear to be right about gays.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you let others fight your battles who have no stake in the outcome.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you help foster the misconceptions that being gay is just about choice.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you promote intolerance & discrimination because there is no one to tell them otherwise.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you cannot change those around you, and they can't change those around them and on it goes, the cycle of intolerance, abuse, & discrimination borne out of ignorance, because no one knows you are gay.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you lay yourself open to abuse. For fear of discovery does lead to becoming a victim.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you deny yourself a full life of being who you are, instead of being who others would like you to be.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you deny others the opportunity to know the real you.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you are surrendering to those who would banish gays, who would make them second class citizens, who would abuse gays, and even kill them without even a fight.

If No One Knows You Are Gay, then how can anyone around you hear the cries of those being abused, of those being molested, of those being hated for being different, if no one is there to tell them?

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you are safe, until someone finds out.

http://happysucks.com/archives/str8.jpg

I knew that it was coming up but wasn't sure when. Not sure if Canada has a National Coming Out Day or not...

I'm out but can't remember what day or month it was -- If I thought long and hard I might be able to come up with the year -- it was a long gradual process or series of steps. :)

It was one of the best things that I ever did.

Staying in the closet was starting to have serious health problems for me. It also alowed me to take back my life and just be me. :)

When my old family doctor realized that I was gay he wouldn't do anything for me. Fortunately my partner and friends found me a doctor that was gay friendly and because I'm out to him we're able to talk about health issues more openly.

I came out March Break 1988.

My first year of college.

Best decision I ever made.

When I was an 18 yr old freshman at the University of Texas, I attended a coming out workshop, and then came out to my family about a week later. That was in 1987, and gee, I sure haven't looked back.

Don't overinterpret Coming Out Day. It is not about advertising your sexual activity. It's about being honest with your identity.

A seventy-five year old sexually inactive man can still be gay and come out.

I can't emphasize enough that the subject of being out revolves around being honest. If your parents or co workers ask you in regular conversation what you did last weekend, you can honestly say that you and your bf went to the movies.

It's about honesty with those who you know, It's not about advertising sexual activity to strangers.

By the way, the US military's ban on gays serving in the military is inappropriate because it forces certain servicememers to be dishonest about themselves. Therefore, for moral reasons the policy should be canned because it encourages the unethical behavior of dishonesty.

Steve

Deslock, that's brillilant.

Can I use that?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gaystoryman

If No One Knows You Are Gay, you make bigots appear to be right about gays.......

---

GREAT post, storyman. I do think coming out is a VERY important thing for people to do (hey, Tom Cruise, are you listening? LOL!), but I also firmly believe that it's a decision that people have to make in their own time. Also, being in the entertainment industry, I acknowledge the importance of "silence" if you want to establish a successful career before THEN derailing it by coming out. (LOL! Kidding!) But let's face it: for folks like Tommy boy, coming out in the beginning of your career would immediately destroy your chances of "breaking through" to the mainstream, where you could potentially have the most influence. Melissa Etheridge and Ellen Degeneres timed their coming outs very smartly, and I applaud them for it.

That said, I think it's EXTREMELY important to have openly gay people who are out from the start. But the truth is, they make great role models chiefly for GAY kids who look up to such folks as role models.

I think it's important to have a balance of both, b/cuz social change has to be accomplished in both communities, not just in our own. And if you never have the opportunity to get to a point where you can influence people, you can never have the influence you might have had if you'd calculated it. Personally, I think it's kinda cool that people like Melissa and Ellen reached the point they wanted to reach in their careers, then said, "Haha, fooled you!"

P.S. As a coda to my former post, I should also add that I hope that one day people won't have to "be silent" in order to break through to the masses. But people like Melissa and Ellen who did it that way are making it possible for many others to not have to do it the way they did it.

I get so angry when gay people say things like, "Yeah, but Melissa and Ellen perpetuated the idea that you have to lie in order to first be accepted," b/cuz that's not the case at all. If you look at it like that, then you're simply not seeing the bigger picture, which is that it takes all kinds of coming outs for us to truly make it OK to be gay. Melissa and Ellen are truly pioneers who realized that they would have the most influence if they first reached a much bigger fanbase than they would have if they'd been out from the start.

Of course, they also realized they could go further as entertainers if they did it that way. (Have to acknolwedge that, too.) But an entertainer's career choices are theirs to do with as they see fit, and none of us have the right to judge them for doing what they feel is best for their careers, b/cuz truthfully, nobody has an OBLIGATION to be a role model.

I've been out since I was 19, and have been extremely vocal about being gay in just about everything that I've done, b/cuz I WANTED to be someone who told other people it was OK to be gay and who you are. But not everyone wants that responsibility, and I feel they are equally deserving of our respect--even if they aren't doing what we might want them to do.

It's the same with ordinary people as well. It's a shame, but the reality is that being "out" is not always the best option for someone's career. And everyone is different in choosing how much abuse they want to put up with. Not everyone is built to be a role model. I think it takes a certain kind of person to stand up and say, "Hey, everyone, I'm gay. This is who I am."

Melissa Etheridge and Ellen Degeneres are the primary people that influenced my decission to start the process, (and for me it was a drawn out process) of coming out. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by XXXWriterDude

It's the same with ordinary people as well. It's a shame, but the reality is that being "out" is not always the best option for someone's career. And everyone is different in choosing how much abuse they want to put up with. Not everyone is built to be a role model. I think it takes a certain kind of person to stand up and say, "Hey, everyone, I'm gay. This is who I am."

---

But isn't the reality really not that it isn't good for a career but that is based on lack of tolerance & understanding, and the more people come out the greater the tolerance will rise?

How many gay football stars are there that are out?

Wouldn't more of them coming out refute the stereotype that gays are pansies? are not 'real men' and of course that comes with a price for those who pioneer it, like Jackie Robinson who took a lot of heat, but look at baseball today.

By saying its not a 'good career move' arent we giving in to the fear and the whole anti gay theme that there is in fact something dirty about being gay?

i'm bi, and my mom has known pretty much since i was 16 that i dated women as well as men. my friends knew, but then most of my friends were gay or bi, so i guess that's not amazing.

now i'm in a monogamous relationship with a man, but that doesn't make me straight. it's actually a little embarrassing to me, because now people assume i'm str8 - and believe it or not, some of us really ARE embarrassed to be str8.

i think that being gay or bi or trans can be dangerous - not just emotionally, but really dangerous. it's terrible that we live in a world where this is true, but i personally can't see pushing someone to come out.

on the one hand, i feel that letting the people who love or know you know who you really are makes the world a better place. also it's better not to live a lie, because it means you never feel the entire you is acceptable - and that is devestating to your self esteem. and you can be one more person letting the world know that being gay is NORMAL!

still, a national day dedicated to such a personal thing feels funny to me... but if it helps some people, it rocks.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by robin

Melissa Etheridge and Ellen Degeneres are the primary people that influenced my decission to start the process, (and for me it was a drawn out process) of coming out. :)

---

Clive Barker and Bob Paris for me

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gaystoryman

But isn't the reality really not that it isn't good for a career but that is based on lack of tolerance & understanding, and the more people come out the greater the tolerance will rise?

---

That's ONE reality, yes. And that's an absolutely good point. But of course, look how many black people are public figures in the world, and look how much racism there still is toward them. I honestly think that no matter how many gay people come out, homophobia will never go away.

Quote:

---

How many gay football stars are there that are out?

Wouldn't more of them coming out refute the stereotype that gays are pansies? are not 'real men' and of course that comes with a price for those who pioneer it, like Jackie Robinson who took a lot of heat, but look at baseball today.

---

Personally, if the world hasn't realized by now that not all gay men are pansies, then they're just plain ignorant and they're probably never going to know any different. And I also think that making a statement like that one--'not all gay men are pansies'--belies an internalized homophobia as well. Aren't we past this as well? Some gay men are pansies. It's funny. I used to have a knee-jerk reaction to nellie guys b/cuz I actually bought in to that self-hatred that the gay community likes to perpetuate through its incessant desire to show how "straight-acting" we can be too... but the irony is that once I started hanging with all the uber-macho guys at the uber-macho bars, I got really bored of them. About 50 percent of them are only play-acting macho b/cuz they think it's what will get them laid. And some of them are so fucking humorless when it comes to being gay that they end up being the most judgmental people you'll ever meet. Now when I meet a guy who gets all riled up about the queens who love Judy and Barbra and Madonna, I just go, "Well, smell you, Mr. Marlboro." The super irony is that now, the guys who are a little bit more flamboyant are actually starting to stand out to me, b/cuz in the increasingly "straight-acting" gay community, THEY are the ones who stand out. They are the ones who are just being themselves and who aren't so concerned with appearances.

I think we need to get past this whole maculine vs. feminine thing once and for all and accept the fact that the community is made up of all kinds of people. Isn't it bad enough that we have to deal with all the crap from the bigger world. But now we have to heap it upon each other as well?

This is not directed at you, gaystory, b/cuz I don't think you were actually making a judgement with your statement, but it did raise a concern with me, and I just wanted to comment on it.

Quote:

---

By saying its not a 'good career move' arent we giving in to the fear and the whole anti gay theme that there is in fact something dirty about being gay?

---

No, I don't think that at all. I used to, but not anymore. I think some people who choose to stay in the closet are doing what they feel is best for themselves, and I don't think they're doing anything other than getting by the way they see fit. I think the whole "you're giving in to that" mentality is founded in unrealistic idealism and, frankly, unfair expectations of what we feel others should do. For some people, it's as simple as, "Look, I'm not making a political statement. I'm just living my own fucking life, so stay off my back."

See, I see both sides of the coin, and while I certainly understand the VERY IMPORTANT need for out gay role models, I also understand that there are all kinds of people in the world, and we don't all want to be gay martyrs for "the cause." And not everybody has to be. There will always be those who pick up the torch and carry it proudly (and sometimes a little too loudly), so we're not in danger of losing our voice in the world, but there will also be those who just kinda want to stay in the background and do their own thing. Not everyone is an activist. Not everybody can be a hero.

Yes, the more people who come out, the more tolerance will be on the rise, but again, the reality is that we don't live in a perfect world where idealism rules the day. People still get fired for being gay. Kids still get kicked out of the house by their parents for it. Some people even still kill themselves over it. I think the move toward an openly tolerant society is happening, but it takes a long time to get there, and yes, it takes a lot of people to make that happen. But in the meantime, in the here and now and back here on planet earth, a reality check will reveal that life isn't so black and white for all gay people.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jasun

Deslock, that's brillilant.

Can I use that?

---

hey, thanks Jasun! Sure why not.... I guess I took away some good speeches from my gay activism days in the 90s.

Steve