Okay his question is how come you guys don't mind girls being on the board. He wants to know why "girls" are so welcome on gay boards but a straight guy going on a lesbian board would most likely be unacceptable.
Can anyone explain this?
Growl =)
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Okay his question is how come you guys don't mind girls being on the board. He wants to know why "girls" are so welcome on gay boards but a straight guy going on a lesbian board would most likely be unacceptable.
Can anyone explain this?
Growl =)
Okay excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me...I did't word it to his liking. Here is his exact question.
How come women are welcome on gay boards but men aren't welcome on lesbian boards.
Growl =)
not sure what you mean.. I am some female boards and they are fine.. unless hes saying something that is inappropriate?
I assume not since your posting this - what is he expecting??
Here's what he says...although could be comepletely untrue. He says you go on the boards, you're gay and let it be known that you're OBVIOUSLY gay (because of course if you're a part of a gay webmaster board you just have to be gay *lol*) and so they are not threatened.Quote:
Originally posted by TheLegacy
not sure what you mean.. I am some female boards and they are fine.. unless hes saying something that is inappropriate?
I assume not since your posting this - what is he expecting??
So he says how come gay guys are not threatened by straight girls, but lesbian women are threatened by straight guys (or so he thinks)
Growl =)
Quote:
Originally posted by Growl Girl
Okay his question is how come you guys don't mind girls being on the board. He wants to know why "girls" are so welcome on gay boards but a straight guy going on a lesbian board would most likely be unacceptable.
Can anyone explain this?
Growl =)
we welcome all BECAUSE this is NOT a sex chat board...
it's a business board... where we ALSO happen to be
friendly to each other... and sometimes.... sometimes...
we say naughty things to or about each other...
and...
because either sex can MARKET gay product...
so...
you are BOTH welcome here... :)
~Bell
p.s. now show us your nakie pix of yourselves
That will get me kicked out of here for sure =)Quote:
Originally posted by Bell
p.s. now show us your nakie pix of yourselves
Growl
He's thinking in terms other than business. So he wants to have an experiment.
He wants us to go to a gay bar for a half hour and a lesbian bar for a half hour. See how I get treated in the gay bar and how he gets treated in the lesbian bar. Lesbians aren't that mean are they? I don't know any, but I have a few gay friends and I get along great with them.
*shrugs*
I guess his point is how come gay men get along with women and lesbian women don't get along with straight men? I think this is his "reason" to get to talk to hot chicks...you agree?
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrowl!!!!
Hon, tell him this...Quote:
Originally posted by Growl Girl
Here's what he says...although could be comepletely untrue. He says you go on the boards, you're gay and let it be known that you're OBVIOUSLY gay (because of course if you're a part of a gay webmaster board you just have to be gay *lol*) and so they are not threatened.
So he says how come gay guys are not threatened by straight girls, but lesbian women are threatened by straight guys (or so he thinks)
Growl =)
The truth of the matter is, a gay man would usually be welcome...but not always...there is NO threat there....and so, most (not all) straight men "are" usually not welcome...why? Because lesbian women mostly figure (feel) straight men "are" up to no good.... ranging from just being curious to...trying to get off, pick a lesbian up (alot of lesbians think straight men all think the only thing a lesbian needs is a "good man...lol
Which we all know gays and lesbians) is totally crazy
SO, I pose this question to him. Why does he care? Why would he or any "straight man" want to be a part of a lesbian board anyway?
(Ok, so my sister Storm (lesbian) made me ask that...lol)
(I had like 30 seconds to write this in...sorry if it doesn't make too much sence)
Bo
For some reason I can't stop thinking about The Family Guy episode where they go in to a lesbian bar and Quagmire walks up to a couple women and says "Any of you ladies ever been penetrated?"
Okay, there used to be a similar situation at a women's (dyke) bar here in Toronto. Men had to be accompanied into the bar by a woman because so many men went to the bar with the express purpose of picking up woman, and more than one would be nice.
I'm assuming that women collected in places like a female webmasters board want to deal with issues that are unique to women. They don't want to have to deal with male testerone, male attitudes, a man's approach to doing things, or men trying to pick up chicks. They don't want to have to explain to men why they have a problem with so-and-so or why they like to do this so-and-so way. It all gets in the way of what they're trying to accomplish.
It's no different than a lot of HIV-positive guys like to only have sex with other positives. They don't want to have to deal with a negative guy's fear, apprehensions, misconception, etc. They don't want to have to answer a bunch of questions. They just want to fuck.
Female webmasters presumably want to build a community that supports themselves, that deals with issues that directly affect them.
Women do not face any resistance in being here because generally speaking women are not threatened by gay men, nor do they have to prove that they're straight. So many straight men, not all but many, constantly have to prove that they're straight, or at least prove that they're not gay. We have a few straight guys on this board who fit in just fine.
But believe me, if a woman came in here spouting a bunch of nonsense, it wouldn't be too long before we'd throw her out, I imagine.
I hope that helps clear things up.
Cheers
Dzinerbear
He says in his mind it's not sexual, why is it in theirs? He wants to know why you didn't ask what a girl is doing on a gay mens board, but you ask why he would want to be on a lesbian board.Quote:
Originally posted by Rainbo1956
Hon, tell him this...
The truth of the matter is, a gay man would usually be welcome...but not always...there is NO threat there....and so, most (not all) straight men "are" usually not welcome...why? Because lesbian women mostly figure (feel) straight men "are" up to no good.... ranging from just being curious to...trying to get off, pick a lesbian up (alot of lesbians think straight men all think the only thing a lesbian needs is a "good man...lol
Which we all know gays and lesbians) is totally crazy
SO, I pose this question to him. Why does he care? Why would he or any "straight man" want to be a part of a lesbian board anyway?
(Ok, so my sister Storm (lesbian) made me ask that...lol)
(I had like 30 seconds to write this in...sorry if it doesn't make too much sence)
Bo
He's not letting me throw my 2 cents in because he's worried I wont get honest answers...it will "tarnish" the answer lol.
Growl
Okay he understands your post and you explained it clearly for him. However, he says you didn't explain why gay males are not threatened by straight women.Quote:
Originally posted by Dzinerbear
Okay, there used to be a similar situation at a women's (dyke) bar here in Toronto. Men had to be accompanied into the bar by a woman because so many men went to the bar with the express purpose of picking up woman, and more than one would be nice.
I'm assuming that women collected in places like a female webmasters board want to deal with issues that are unique to women. They don't want to have to deal with male testerone, male attitudes, a man's approach to doing things, or men trying to pick up chicks. They don't want to have to explain to men why they have a problem with so-and-so or why they like to do this so-and-so way. It all gets in the way of what they're trying to accomplish.
It's no different than a lot of HIV-positive guys like to only have sex with other positives. They don't want to have to deal with a negative guy's fear, apprehensions, misconception, etc. They don't want to have to answer a bunch of questions. They just want to fuck.
Female webmasters presumably want to build a community that supports themselves, that deals with issues that directly affect them.
Women do not face any resistance in being here because generally speaking women are not threatened by gay men, nor do they have to prove that they're straight. So many straight men, not all but many, constantly have to prove that they're straight, or at least prove that they're not gay. We have a few straight guys on this board who fit in just fine.
But believe me, if a woman came in here spouting a bunch of nonsense, it wouldn't be too long before we'd throw her out, I imagine.
I hope that helps clear things up.
Cheers
Dzinerbear
He says...how come the lesbian women don't want to welcome straight men but the gay guys will welcome anyone. Oh, and he's not trying to be argumentitive...it's just a psychology question he guesses.
Growl
Well coming from a psychological background, I'll try to answer.
I am a straight female who deals in the gay webdom. I do not think gay men are threatened by me because what am I going to do? It is the sterotype that leads a great deal of our beliefs. Women are not sexual agressive (remember, streotypes, not my opinion) and men think more with their lower head than with the other.
Also considering about 90-95% of sex offenders are male, it makes many women, straight or lesbian very fearful. Besides, women more than men get the "all they need is a real man" speech. Gay men are looked upon as just being strange.
Hope that adds some more light. Remember, I based this off what I've studied in Psychology, it isn't my opinion.
Quote:
Originally posted by Sana Chan
Well coming from a psychological background, I'll try to answer.
I am a straight female who deals in the gay webdom. I do not think gay men are threatened by me because what am I going to do? It is the sterotype that leads a great deal of our beliefs. Women are not sexual agressive (remember, streotypes, not my opinion) and men think more with their lower head than with the other.
Also considering about 90-95% of sex offenders are male, it makes many women, straight or lesbian very fearful. Besides, women more than men get the "all they need is a real man" speech. Gay men are looked upon as just being strange.
Hope that adds some more light. Remember, I based this off what I've studied in Psychology, it isn't my opinion.
I feel the EXACT same way. But I don't think gay guys are "strange" for the most part. Maybe before I did, but my friend has a son who I am SURE got either the wrong parts or is definitely gay...and he was only 5 at the time. Also I used to babysit this "family" of unfortunate kids when I was about sixteen and one of them was always teased and called names (I'm sure you can imagine) and I got in touch with him like 2 years ago and immediately KNEW he was gay although he denied it...sure enough after a long conversation he came out to his family the following day. It's just the way you are, in my opinion.
I do believe it's all stereotypical, and if he's angry about it he needs to blame his past behaviours and that of most other straight men. It's just a fact they mostly thinking about sex!
Growl
I'm sorry but Lesbians oftenly even have a problem with gay guys... and i know what i'm talking about. So i can really imagine your boyfriend being trashed in some lesbian forums.
Fortunately, I've always been very welcome to any lesbian forums. So your boyfriend must have been in some places where men are not really appreciated.
I posted months ago several posts about it because i lived this situation several times.
i have rarely seen a straight men around lesbians who wasn't sexually aggressive. i have rarely seen a woman around gay men who was sexually aggressive.
mind - i say rarely, not never. both happen.
some women do come onto gay men, but mostly women i meet in gay clubs are simply women who like hanging out with men without all the sexual pressure or judgement. i know straight single women who still don't like the way men treat them in clubs, but love to go dancing, so they go to gay clubs, which are always more fun.
lesbians have been raped by straight men but i've never heard of any gay men who were raped by straight women. i knew a lesbian who was followed home by a straight guy who saw her in a club and stalked her for months. i know straight guys who go to gay pride to try to pick up lesbians - two by pretending to be gay, and no these are NOT friends of mine.
and steve, i, too know lesbians that would rather not hang with gay guys.
I am not threatened by straight women because I'm comfortable with who I am sexually. I don't feel like I have anything to prove to a woman except that I'm a nice, caring guy with some good things to say.Quote:
Originally posted by Growl Girl
However, he says you didn't explain why gay males are not threatened by straight women.He says...how come the lesbian women don't want to welcome straight men but the gay guys will welcome anyone. Oh, and he's not trying to be argumentitive...it's just a psychology question he guesses.Growl
Lesbian women don't want to welcome straight men because, again generally speaking, so many lesbians have been sexually abused by straight men, and straight men have a long-standing tradition of thinking with their cocks and believing that all lesbians just need a good fucking to turn them around.
Straight women don't usually want to get us into bed, they want to talk about their feelings, they want us to do they're hair, they want to talk design tips, they want to go shop. :goof:
Dzinerbear
Ok I figure my 2c as a straight guy (well at least today) on a "gay" board and also from years of experience in the club scene (owner, manager, bouncer AND customer).....
Sounds like your boyfriend treats it all as some type of "freakshow" all round... what's this experiment BS?
A homophobe in the "wrong" crowd (for them) stands out like the proverbial dog's balls.
Same as a neo-Nazi would at a Bar Mitzvah.
If people sense you are either:
a) Not comfortable
or
b) There for the wrong reasons
They will generally send you energy that is more to the negative than the positive.
If you are genuine, it doesn't matter where you are or who you are with, people will work that out.
There is an old Aussie band, The Warumpi Band, which sang a song called "True Fella":
Black fella, white fella
Any fella
Doesn't matter, what yer colour
As long as you true fella
May that attitude propogate widely to make the world a better place for us all.
In the meantime, I'll take you and your boyfriend to join some friends of mine at the local Bandidos bike gang clubhouse.
Bet he gets a lot more thna strange looks when he walks in there.
My 2c and just one man's opinion.
:bandana:
CuriousToyBoy - what can i do but agree?
As someone who moderates a lesbian board and runs a high traffic website for lesbians, I'd have to say that Michael got a good deal of it correct. If it's a lesbian board, those that come to it to post and share their lives want to be able to do so freely, without explanations. Yes, it's an illusion of security and safety, since in reality anyone can stop by and read, but it's an illusion that is highly defended if men do find the balls to post there.
I know some of the women don't mind if a man posts, but others are extremely aggitated by it. Guess it's akin to a guy wanting to be part of a girl's night out. While I certainly encourage that both sexes interact on social levels, there are just some things that should still allow a little segregation of the sexes. There are times when the guys want guy time and vice versa. Including the opposite sex on occasion will be tolerated, but it's not particualarly something they want on every outing or board or club.
As to this BOARD - it's for anyone marketing or wanting to learn about the gay porn market. It's a business board that just happens to also have some tremedously interesting, warm, intelligent and funny people of various orientations that post to it.
Damn Sana Chan, we have to hook up ;)Quote:
Originally posted by Sana Chan
I am a straight female
Cheers,
Allan
Most boards have an established culture, take this board for example, all are welcome to post and whilst doing business we also have fun.
But take a board where females are the only ones to ever post, the message is generally quite clear, females are welcome and males and whilst this doesn't often happen in reverse it's understandable.
Does your boyfriend also wonder why he's not welcome in a ladies bathroom???? There are certain things that are discussed that they don't want male opinions on and IMHO if they don't want my opinion then that's fine with me and i move on.
Why doesn't your bf just look at it from the perspective that if he's not welcome then you just move on, find a great board like GWW and enjoy the sense of community and fun.
Cheers,
Allan
Quote:
Originally posted by ozmalegalleries
Most boards have an established culture, take this board for example, all are welcome to post and whilst doing business we also have fun.
But take a board where females are the only ones to ever post, the message is generally quite clear, females are welcome and males and whilst this doesn't often happen in reverse it's understandable.
Does your boyfriend also wonder why he's not welcome in a ladies bathroom???? There are certain things that are discussed that they don't want male opinions on and IMHO if they don't want my opinion then that's fine with me and i move on.
Why doesn't your bf just look at it from the perspective that if he's not welcome then you just move on, find a great board like GWW and enjoy the sense of community and fun.
Cheers,
Allan
ditto what plantboy just said...
and another reason your bf might not be welcomed in a lesbian
only - situation is that: (see pic below)
~Bell
Aww Allan, I dun know if you'd like me. Besides, I have a strong Asian boy fetish so you'd have to really try.Quote:
Originally posted by ozmalegalleries
Damn Sana Chan, we have to hook up ;)
Cheers,
Allan
Sana
I think this is true... what are your intentions of being there? Your true intentions?Quote:
Originally posted by CuriousToyBoy
If people sense you are either:
a) Not comfortable
or
b) There for the wrong reasons
They will generally send you energy that is more to the negative than the positive.
If you are genuine, it doesn't matter where you are or who you are with, people will work that out.
I'm a straight man. While on vaction in Miami last year, myself and a straight guy friend ended up in a lesbian bar. We love to go dancing at gay bars and thought it was a gay bar. But it was a lesbian bar. We sat at the bar and the bar tender knew we were straight right away. The long of the short is, she gave us free drinks all night. We danced, we hung out with everyone there. We were so welcome and were never given any attitude at all. We just wanted a good time. Nothing sexual. It is still one of the best party nights I've ever had. I think you're boyfriend is wrong. I think if you're honest and good intentions they will welcome you.
There are a lot of good perspectives here. I have to agree that if lesbians are concerned about straight men posting on their socail boards, or going to lesbian bars, it proably comes from fear based on experience. I'm not a big bar hopper these days, but I can think of many times in the past when straight men came into a bar I was in looking for trouble. When that happens so often, you get to be a little skeptical. I used to frequent this little neighborhood lesbian bar near a marine base....it was pretty common for the young marines to come in and try and stir things up.
On the other hand, I've experienced straight men coming into the bars with their lesbian friends or even straight girlfriends, just to dance and hang out. I think its all about the attitude. It is usally pretty clear pretty quickly what someone's intentions are in that type of situation.
As has been stated, this is a business board for the gay adult web market. If it was a gay mens social board, I wouldn't be posting. If someone goes to the trouble to create a social board for a specific group, I assume there is a reason.
Having problems getting in with that humping dog attached to your leg??Quote:
I'm not a big bar hopper these days
lmao will i ever live that down???