I'm so...fucked!

There are only two boards that I feel a connection with...so, I had to say this on both of them as I might not be around for awhile.

After almost 5 years together and 3+ years of building "his" fucking house...my partner and I are through! It's a long story and there are always two sides to a story...I wont bore you with either of them.

I'm a reck right now and don't even know what the hell to do.

I spent the night with a friend trying to get drunk and I couldn't (cause he got drunker than me, so I had to take care of him)

I've lost everything...between my computer crash and now this, I have no way of recovering anything.

My heart and life feels so broken...I have no idea what the hell to do!

If you don't see me here for a while, it's because I have to get the hell outta here very soon (move I suppose, back to MN or WI) After that I "might get it all back together..I dunno)

For now though, it's sad...but, the only outlet is the people I have here and this community. Since the fool I was with had NO people skills, we've made no other friends...I feel very alone (and that's NOT even like me)

I don't know what the hell I'm going to do.

Believe me...I don't wanna have a pitty party...I just don't know what the fuck to do (as I sit here and try to make any kind of sence out of it all)

hey, there's a difference between sympathy and pity. i feel for you - and relate a lot. hopefully you'll get the time you need to grieve, so you can start to rebuild.

i hope we get to see you here while you're figuring it all out - although sometimes stuff just doesn't make sense.

but at least all us gww'ers are here, sympathetic and sending you good thoughts and best wishes.

Thank you basschick, your words are kind and make sence.

Yes, for now I'm a mess, but I'll also get into the "take care of self" mode too.

Even in these past few miinutes, since I posted the message, I've come up with a few plans (I guess one who's been there before knows how to do it)

I appericiate your sympathetic words and thouhts...

Len

Hey are you glad that you found out now instead of way down the road?

What is it about the 5 year mark? My partner of five years left me knowing nobody in the state, 2 months behind in rent, no job ( I had just started a new online business ), NO money in the bank, and a 2 1/2 year old child to take care of on my own.

You will get past this with flying colors because you have the strength to land on your feet. Here you are already online getting your bases covered and seeing what opportunities are out there. Good for you!

What city are you in? What is it exactly that would help your situation?

Mate, good luck pulling through this, I am sure you are strong and will be able to bounce back in no time. And of course we are all here for you if you need a virtual shoulder to cry on.

cheers,
Luke

I hope things get better for you Rainbo1956 hon. Keep smiling and things will get better and better as time goes on.

Many many *HUGS*! to you hon.

Just sittin on the porch stoop with ya --- I know it hurts like hell babe ... and not much anyone can say or do to make the time it takes to grieve and heal any shorter ... just remember you DO have friends that give a damn about you.

Well I've been there. What to do? More then anything, just try to move on... for me I successfully corralled my old relationship fealings into fuel that makes me work on my business.

Although I should not talk, probably - I have purposefully avoided any romantic committment since my 9 year relationship ended in 2000.

Steve

I so feel for you. After my ex and I broke up it felt like I would never move on. It’s been over 1 year now since I’ve been with anyone. It gets easier, but it just takes time and good friends to talk too.

We’re all here for ya man.
:angel:

Life is all about character building experiences. I know for a fact there are some major characters around here. lol

You are going to get through this and although you may feel weak and beat up your not. Your showing your strength by coming here to share your experience. There may be others right now going through this very thing but not posting about it. You are getting it out so you can deal with it head on. And those going through this are learning from you. Good for you.

Much love and warm wishes. I'm sending out positive energy right to you darling. Your alright!

For me pouring myself into my work always helps me. But you have to be careful. For me I got to involved in work and became addicted to it and forgot about real life.

I could not imagine losing my partner and I really feel for you. My best advice is to make some new friends and hangout with them and keep busy. I know it may seem like the end to everything but it is just the beginning of new things. I have had alot of changes in my life and though they have been really tough don't give up ever. Things will work out just hang in there and be positive. :)

Mark

I'm sorry. I know I don't know you very well except through your posts, but I'm feeling for you. I'm sorry this hurts so badly.

What will you do?

One piece at a time, you'll put it altogether again. It can be done. And whatever you end up with be better than what you have now. I know it seems hopeless now, but it's not. Feel bad, listen to some Patsy Cline, get drunk ... then pick it all up, put it in a truck, and get moving on with your new life.

If there's anything I can do, or if you just need an ear, don't hesitate.

AIM: dzinerbeartor

Hugs
Michael
dzinerbear

:yeah:

Jim Croce and James Taylor work for me.

Damn sorry to hear that man :(

Hope to see you back soon once you have sorted stuff out.

Regards,

Lee

First, I'd like to thank all of you for you kind words and support.
Thank you all so, so very much!

The relationship is very fragile for now (in terms of whether or not we'll get back together, remain friends, go to court or whatever) It'll remain that way until the damn house and money are sorted out.
We're separated, but getting along ok and we'll just have to see how it plays out.

My sister Storm (Cherie) rocks!
I had no idea she was keeping such good track of what she, her partner and I have done as far as the house and business are concerned. Everything's been documented (But, it makes sense that she would've kept track, since she had no emotional attachment with my partner other than she cared for him cause he's been with me...that and she's a little better skilled at taking care of herself then I am. Factor that in with the little trust she has for anyone...and PHREW...it pays off.

The day after my partner Lee's and my fight/breakup...I got drunk for a couple of days and didn't sleep for 48 hours...but, my sister Storm went to see her lawyer and had him write a letter to my partner.

I guess that letter threw my partner back into "reality", because he came back and said he wanted to make sure we worked everything out financially. That he wanted to make sure all partners were compensated. He wants to make sure he get's his house finished and that we all get our money out of it. Then we'll figure out what we need to do with our business.

Plus, I think that once Lee found out when people heard that I was available for work, I got 7 request for work in our sub alone. (I've made it a point to let the people here know that when we were done working on our house, I'd be avalible to do whatever they needed done...plumbing, carpenter, heating, electric and etc...so, work would be easy to get! (Not to mention that 3 of my friends wanted mainstream sites built the day after...how weird eh)

Soooo, I'm guessing life could be much worse...at least I have a smile now! Thanks to all of you and the few friends I have here.

I have to tell this story, even though it'll make this post so damn long.

It was a very STRANGE evening the night of the fight/breakup, when my friend came to rescue me/take me out to "forget or numb".

When my friend took me out..about 8pm, the night of my partners and mine fight (but, my friend got more loaded then me...lol) He took me out just to get me away from all of the bullshit, the fighting, the house and the nightmare of contracting/building/landscape. Only,the first bar he takes me to, we walk in, AND...it was "under construction" and, it looked way too much like the damn house I'm building...drywall, painting, etc...PLUS, the old man who was in charge or owned it was Italian and reminded me of my partners father! I began to say..."what the hell is this All about"?

So we take off and the next place we go to, the bartender was talking to some people down the bar from us about "finishing her house", complaining they built it by themselves and it took 3 years. By now I'm tripping...thinking I can't even get away from the shit!

To further the trippy night...When we first arrived at the bar, sitting on the bar stool where we were going to sit at, there were these two huge rolled up white papers...we just ignored them and sat down. Well, about 1/2 hour later, a couple came and asked if there was anyone sitting there and asked if they could sit there. I said "Sure, go ahead". So the guy moved the papers on to the bar....my friend and the guy who sat down wondered what the hell the papers were...so, they opened them. They were fricking "HOUSE PLANS"! They even looked like Lee's and my house. Someone had left them at the bar! We gave them to the bartender and she knew who they belonged to. She says "Yeah, they were fighting all night about these plans". Now I'm saying WTF???

So, we start talking to the couple. We ask..."What are your names? The guy says his name is Lee! "YIKES" I actually said outloud, "that's my partners name"! (Why can't I even escape this shit???)...so, we ask what he does for a living...he says he owns a land scaping business (which has been my BIGGEST BITCH about doing this damn house...meaning, I got payed the least amount for the work I've done doing that shit) Then we ask his girl friend what she does..she say's she works for her father in construction! Her father is a contractor...aye yi yi! I couldn't get away from it!

For whatever reason it was important for me to get HIT with all this shit while I was out.
I figure it means something...don't know now for sure what it all meant though (Gotta figure it means I'm where I'm supposed to be though...(as I always think anyway)

But the messages where pretty darn clear eh!

Just goes ta show ya...there ARE higher forces at work no matter what you do or where you go! (That plus I must have a pretty funny guardian angel...hehe)

Just wanna say thank you so much again everyone
I was glad to be able to share this story...I'll be back more and more as we sort out the sites and puter shit (Still haven't got my own puter that I can "work" on, but we're back in biz!)

i'm glad to hear you're doing a little better, Rainbo1956.

it's funny - whenever people break up, they go places and hear breakup songs every single place they go or run into stuff like you did. it's one of life's weird laws.

be careful about thinking about getting back together with an ex. a lot of people do it, but they end up in an on-again, off-again thing, with the pain of breaking up happening over and over... don't wanna see you get hurt again.

I'm glad to hear you're doing better now. Though we've never met I felt for you tremendously and am glad things are moving on with you now. It looks like you're in great hands :high: