Wanna get married?

I know this isn't a political forum, but what has each of you done to fight for gay marriage?

I was just wondering because I don't really know what all I can do. I don't think I've ever even seen an equal rights bumper sticker...

I got married.

But seriously. I marched in parades, I did political action, but the most important thing that I did was come out of the closet and live as an out gay man among straight people.

Lead by example. Don't ever hide. Live the way you would in the world you want to live in.

Straight people will see we're not the demons that they thought and will support equal rights for us.

It's how it worked in Canada. It's how it will have to work in the US.

It kinda sucks that my marriage isn't legal in the US, but I'll deal.

We're together because we love each other, not because we have a piece of paper that says we're legal.

Well... I've never marched on a parade and never will.... did no political action, never wore any bumper stickers or put the rainbow flag on my window.... and I also never will do that...

I am very out but I don't believe my sexuality should determin my whole life.

Educating people you're surrounded with is far more effective then trying to change minds of the entire nation....

I would never fight for a gay marriage, but I would fight for child adoption... which ofcourse is lightyears away...

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Originally posted by dalimili
I am very out but I don't believe my sexuality should determin my whole life.
I would never fight for a gay marriage, but I would fight for child adoption... which ofcourse is lightyears away...

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That''s what I thought about 5 years ago.

But we have it now in Canada. And a lot more.

I fail to see how marching in the odd gay parade determines one's life.

:jasun:

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I would never fight for a gay marriage, but I would fight for child adoption... which ofcourse is lightyears away...

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if adoption is based on the family unit, how can you not fight for gay marraige in order to obtain the right to have a family through adoption?

marraige is so much more than a piece of paper, it is acceptance that we are equal in all aspects of the law. Religious connotations aside, being married opens the door to adoptions, and to help end the discrimination.

I am proud to be married, and as hard it is to explain, it really does make a difference. I mean when I walk into a doctors office now i know that someone I love will make the decisions for me if I can't, not to mention the financial benefits involved as well.

Being married, legally isn't about sexuality, just as being gay isn't to me anyhow, about boinging another guy. It is a whole lot more than that.

Walking in parades, writing letters, standing up for equal rights for all people is what makes a person human. Defending the rights of all persons is what truly makes a society free, not just giving those rights to the majority.

We all fight our battles our own way, but sometimes you have to be willing to risk the comfort in order to gain the changes that are needed to truly be equal, to truly be free. Marraige rights, not civil unions, is as important now as it was to end segregation back in the 60's. You can't always sit back. least imho.

Ian

Sorry, I don't believe in marriage, neither in heterosexual or homosexual.... and you are now speaking like any conservative: "family unit"?? Please!!

And you being proud of being married.... hey, dear I have no problem with that. If that suites your lifestyle I am not one to judge you, I'm happy for you. But I certainly can not fight for something that I don't believe in..

"Walking in parades, writing letters, standing up for equal rights for all people is what makes a person human...."
Yes, ofcourse, and If I don't do that? Am I suddenly not considered a human or even more, am I considered to be a bad bad gay men and should be excluded from any further gay life....

Sorry, dear, but you sound like any heterosexual who opposes gay lifestyle and gays as a whole... but on another level...

OK, I am a horrible horrible man...

Meh

I used to think that way.

then I grew up.

and got equal rights.

and realized that although I had convinced myself that I didn't want any of those equal rights or sour grapes, that I should have been entited to them all along. Wether I wanted them or not.

The issue isn't about being able to be married or not, the issue is to insure that all citizens have the same rights as everyone else, whether they be catholic or aetheist... whether they believe in one god or two... they deserve the same protection under the law and that is what this about.

Democracy and freedom isn't about picking and choosing what you defend, it is about insuring that everyone, irrespective of how vile you may thing they are that they are entitled to the same rights as everyone else. I don't like what the funbies spout off but I sure as hell would fight anyone who wanted to deny them the right to say it, and that is all this about.. demanding equal rights not separate..

Without arguing... I agree with what you said... all citizens SHOULD have the same rights this is not the issue at all...

the question of the first post was "what has each of you done to fight for gay marriage?"

I just replied that I did nothing and that's it, I never argued that we should be treated diferently or be deprived of certain rights!

Honestly .... Nothing. I don't see how marching in a pride parade (what are all these about anyways?) with a bunch of screaming almost-naked queens in tight shorts doing the "I'm here I'm queer look at me" thing would help change things.

Everything is so dysfunctional - you have the crowd that wants to marry, and some want to adop. And then you have the other crowd that thinks getting loaded on exstacy and crystal meth while sucking dick at the back of the dance club of some guy you've never seen and likely won't ever see and getting barebacked 'cause it's cool and feels good.

Then you have the White party's and all the hoopla with them about raising money for HIV while at the same time bareback parties are all over the place so the dumb fags can go get it on just in case they miss some hot meat and don't get any till tomorrow.

And all of the above is pretty much what the straights are seeing and the media loves it 'cause it's like a car wreck, everyone wants to stop and ogle and it makes for good and cheap footage.


We pushed gay marriage in an election year and then everyone whined why they picked us and made us scapegoats. It pissed me off too but you can't really expect politicians to not milk any chance they get.


marriage isn't important to me. with or without it I won't care more or less about my partner. If anyone out there wants to get hitched, they should be able to do it. Just no complaining when the gay divorces start coming down the pipe and someone says gays can't keep it together and be monogamous

Gay marriage has nothing to do with the papers you get. I could careless what others think of my relationship. It is about all tax paying citizens being treated fair. My parter and I have been together for 9 yrs. He recently got a job with a company that offers domestic partner health benefits. It is great that they offer these benefits but if I except them I have to clam that as income on my taxes. Now if we were a "straight married" couple the government and state wouldn't tax me for these benefits. Also we have to file our taxes separately even though our money is combined. This cost us hundreds of dollars in taxes more then straight married couples pay. How is that fair???

Years ago I also thought gay marriage wasn't a big deal. I don't believe the government should have anything to do with peoples relationships. But they are involved by giving tax and other benefits to married couples and this is not going to stop. If the government is going to offer benefits to one group of people then they need to make it available to all tax payers.

As for what to do to help the gay marriage cause. I personally don't think marching in pride parades helps much. A lot of these parades just fuel the "right" and give them ammo against us. I think living out in the open as much as possible is the best thing one can do. Write letters to government officials regarding gay issues in your state. This lets them know we are here and not going anywhere. I believe political action is the best way to further our rights.

The bottom line is "marriage" is just a word. All I really want is equality, what ever they call it.

Jigg, I'mno0t talking about the Gay Pride parade.

I'm talking about the times when we stormed the legeslature or the times we held sit ins onYonge Street or the times we held political rallies.

No, the gay pride parade does nothing other than give us all a chance to have a good time.

The way people who are against gay marriage have explained their opinions to me has made me sick.

So far, I've heard many times:

glbt's are completely excluded from the term "consenting adult" and instead are comparable to animals as far as their rights go. this is why they can't allow it, or they would also have to allow people to marry animals.

This explanation is crazy to me. Why am I not considered a consenting adult? It's not like I'm asking people to say stuff like that to me, but people really seem to want to talk about it.

I won't go into the other explanations, they are mostly religious and I know you are all sick of that kind of crap. I always tell people who bring this kind of thing up that I am sorry they have a problem, but it's theirs and it would be stupid to let it become mine.

I am all for gay marriage and the gay "family unit." Happy, well adjusted gay men and women everywhere living together in marital bliss, with children will be great. Some of you act like that would just be picking up straight people's baggage. Buying into a lifestyle, or trying to emulate one. I don't think that is giving glbt's enough credit. Most of us know a thing or two about trying to be something we aren't, and only want to be who we are.

Yeah, ^ That.

with all due respect to our american cousins, if this last election was about family values and John Kerry was the champion for same sex marraige, no wonder he got defeated. The guy never took a firm stand, he never gave a real accounting of what same sex marraige is, which isn't really about marraige, it is about giving equal protection to all, under the law.

People seem to assume that we want to have some high priest annoint our union, when in fact it is simply that we want what all people of colour wanted back in the 60's... equal rights under the law. The right to attend schools of our choice, the right to ride in buses and eat at the same lunch counters as anyone else without fear, without intimidation.

Marraige is merely a focus point to highlight what is being denied us simply because we are gay. Tax benefits, medical benefits, child protection, protection from hate crimes, those are what are involved in granting gay's the right to be married and recognized as being no different than their straight counterparts.

The democrats acknlowdge they didn't come out in favour for fear of offending some, well tough shit folks. Equal rights means that people like George Bush can get married just as can a black man and white women can and so should that equality equally apply to two men or two women.

An election year was a perfect opportunity to fight for equal rights, to get rid of a reactionary government but instead of taking the fight to the right wing, the democrats waffled and lost the election that they could have won. At least if they had fought the good fight, defeat would have been easier to swallow, now it will take a long time before the reactionary laws of a narrow minded group can be overturned, in that time how many young gays will comitt suicide because of being bullied in schools? how many young gays will be torn from loving gay parents because its not legal for two gays to be a family unit? How many gays will suffer at the hands of strangers making their decisions simply because their partner is not legally recognized? How many fathers or mothers will lose the rights to see their own children simly because they are gay? How many children will be awarded custody to the wrong parent because the other is admittly gay?

That is what was lost, that is what fighting for equal rights for all means. To address and erase inequality in the system.

lest in my opinion.

The last few Prides I have been to were awfully short on half-naked queers but had a lot of gay parents marching with their children, a lot of corporations that believe developing a diverse workforce is good for their company as well as gaining loyalty from gay consumers. I saw a lot of strollers with children who have only one legal parent even though they were being raised by two loving parents. I saw children at risk because our laws will not allow those children the same protections such as survivor's benefits when their breadwinner parent dies if that breadwinner parent is gay. I saw a lot of very happy gay couples that do not have access to the same rights as straight couples--the right to inherit property without paying tax, the right to survivor's pension benefits, the rights to transfer property to their loved one without paying a gift tax, the right to be with their loved one in an emergency room and to make crucial medical decisions when that loved one cannot. I saw good, intelligent, educated and qualified people that could be fired from their job simply for their sexual orientation, or denied from an apartment rental application or even have their rental agreements legally terminated because they were gay. I saw some that had gained relative financial success that had become complacent thinking that their economic stability insulated them from the hatred and bigotry that is surging around us.

What did I do? I personally visit my congressman and [try] visit my senator every year and tell them that I am a gay consitituent that lives, works, plays and votes in their district. I do not let them think homos are just nameless faceless sex addicts that emerge from under bushes in California, that we have families and feelings and needs. When someone asks me if I am married I tell them I am not because I am gay and can't get married. I am out and open so that those that don't think they have ever met a gay person don't get their only images from the few second news clips of gay pride parades. Most people have a hard time hating gay people once they finally get to know a few.
I donate money and time to groups that lobby for recognition of gay rights [equal rights are not special rights!].

I am a gay laywer from Iowa, and that only begins to describe who I am. Being gay is only a part of me, but I will not let myself feel marginalized because that part of me is not in lockstep with what other people think I should be.

Most of all, I refuse to be ashamed of who I am.