is escorting the same as porn

i had this huge debate with a boy tonite about escorting... he is frustrated because he cant find a job... problem is, he is only looking for cool jobs. he refuses to work retail or fast food. so what kind of job does he as a 19 year old expect to get?

so he's thinking of escorting... which he could easily do cuz he's a hottie... but the thought of it turns my stomach... of course, he tore into me about how its the same as what i do, exploiting boys for money in porn...

he has a point... or does he? is wacking off for $200 the same as letting some stranger fuck you?

are porn models any better than the common hooker?

we had to stop talking, the argument got so heated. i really dont want him to escort, but he thinks im being stupid by suggesting he take a job that isnt "cool" and "fun"....

discuss...

Why don't you want him to escort?

I've filmed a couple different guy over the year before escorting, then after. They are never for the better after. It chews them up and spits them out. There are a lot of sick people out there that really mess these guys up. IMHO

Well for that matter, "alcohol" does that to people. Couldn't you say that numerous untarnished young people have been introduced to alcohol, and the gay bar life... and that "totally destroyed" them.

Beware of falling into the logic of religious conservatives, who would tell you blanketly that pornography, prostitution, gambling and alcohol ALL will eventually wreck someone's life.

In fact Focus on the Family might say similarly to a 19 year old, not to accept their homosexuality because there are a lot of sick people out there who will mess them up.

Escorting is a job, more then anything else. From what I've seen a number of people have been very successful at it; it is lucrative and fun.

Considering that he is unable to handle a normal type job in retail, it would be easy to conclude that his stab at escorting would be just as successful.

Steve

PS: If he's serious he should talk to someone else who does it successfully, or even to someone who rents boys often... to learn about what to charge, how to operate, etc.

"escort" work very VERY rarely is escorting. the differences i see between prostitution and porn are these:

in prostitution, only one person sees you naked. afterwards, there is no record of it. your parents and future bosses won't see the videos.

porn entertainers are generally a little safer from annoyances like having a guy not answer his door or being picked up by the police.

in prostitution, there's a little less performance anxiety. there's only one person watching.

porn entertainers can make some more money if they become well known by marketing their name on products etc.

prostitutes can talk to the person in advance on the phone. if they don't like them, they don't have to visit them.

prostitution is more dangerous unless you truly are careful.

guys i know who used to turn tricks in hollywood made and stayed friends with a lot of the tricks - and i'm talking years. it doesn't have to be the horrible experience you are thinking, dale. friends of mine who weren't into it still survived it well and happily. it really depends on the person.

so, would you date someone who had escorted for a while, even years? would you date someone actively escorting? after all, if it is like you say, just a job....

i think my main thing with him that i got upset about, was that he's "too good" to have a "shitty" job.... he'd rather sell his body on the street just so he can buy the latest abercombie wardrobe, than get a "shitty" job and maybe only buy half their catalog...

"Couldn't you say that numerous untarnished young people have been introduced to alcohol, and the gay bar life... and that "totally destroyed" them."


Well, being an American and living in a country where the legal drinking age is 18 , but the average drinking age is 15.. I can say that I see the effects of drinking starting at a young age.


"Beware of falling into the logic of religious conservatives, who would tell you blanketly that pornography, prostitution, gambling and alcohol ALL will eventually wreck someone's life."

I'm not saying that. It does take a certain type to be successful at escorting. Real strong knowledge of self and being able to state, and enforce, your boundaries clearly is a necessity. Unfortunately many many young guys don't have character that well developed and end up damaged, physically or mentally. You have to remember.. escorting is a one on one experience where many see themselves as paying to do what they wish to someone. IMHO

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Dawgy
I think my main thing with him that i got upset about, was that he's "too good" to have a "shitty" job.... he'd rather sell his body on the street just so he can buy the latest abercombie wardrobe, than get a "shitty" job and maybe only buy half their catalog...

---

Dawgy it's clear you like the boy and don't want him escorting, so make him your kept boy.. then he stays pure :high:

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Squirt
Dawgy it's clear you like the boy and don't want him escorting, so make him your kept boy.. then he stays pure :high:

---

lol if only it were that easy

1. he doesnt want a bf
2. i wont support a lazy snobby brat

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Dawgy
lol if only it were that easy

1. he doesnt want a bf
2. i wont support a lazy snobby brat

---

ha ha ha I like the cocky straight guys! lol

Dawgy we all know a sugar daddy isn't a boyfriend :high:

he's 19


nuff said.

i got two friends and i live and re-live daily their drama with 19 year olds.

Well I still find your descriptive language interesting:
"he'd rather sell his body on the street just so he can buy the latest abercombie wardrobe, than get a "shitty" job and maybe only buy half their catalog..."

You characterize escorting as truly base, ugly and an act of utter humiliation.

I think the 19 y/o guy's point was how strange that sounds from someone who photographs nude models, an occupation which could be similarly mischaracterized.

In short, don't be judgemental.

Steve

Quote:

---

Originally posted by desslock
Well I still find your descriptive language interesting:
"he'd rather sell his body on the street just so he can buy the latest abercombie wardrobe, than get a "shitty" job and maybe only buy half their catalog..."

You characterize escorting as truly base, ugly and an act of utter humiliation.

I think the 19 y/o guy's point was how strange that sounds from someone who photographs nude models, an occupation which could be similarly mischaracterized.

In short, don't be judgemental.

Steve

---

i guess i find a difference in posing naked for some pics and getting your ass reamed out for money by a different guy every night.

dawgy - you have a heap of prejudice. most rent boys have repeats - they see the same guys over and over. they get presents, they make hundreds of dollars - if a cute guy has no emotional issues with it, why shouldn't he want to make good money having fun with people who admire him rather than schlepping for someone at minimum wage?

what's WRONG with him wanting nice clothes and stuff? that's normal. it doesn't make him "too good" for a normal job, but where's the incentive? work 45 hours per week at the hours the job dictates (we don't do that!), make tiny bits of money so you need roommates and can't afford a car. and as we all know, most people at that level DON'T rise. they stay at that level.

besides, what makes you think a lower end porn guy makes more money or has more choices? he probably makes less than a ho, and if he turns down jobs or can't get it up once, word gets out and he can't get jobs anymore. i just can't see why doing porn is any better than escort work to you.

That's a silly question! There is a HUGE world of difference between being paid for a solo shoot and being paid for sex, on or off camera.

I'm too picky for casual sex, and sleeping with someone you hardly know or even anyone you haven't gone to get tested with is shamefully ignorant, cash incentive or not.

So hardcore pornstar and escort are both off limits for me. A whore is a whore, if they are gonna fuck around anyway might as well get paid I guess. But this notion of these jobs "chewing up innocent guys and spitting them out" I don't think an innocent guy is gonna put his ass on the sale block to begin with.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by DigitalJay
..But this notion of these jobs "chewing up innocent guys and spitting them out" I don't think an innocent guy is gonna put his ass on the sale block to begin with.

---

Yeah good point. I was down and out as a kid, the whole nine yards, and the thought never crossed my mind.. I just found work where I could the normal way.

But then again I never said they were "innocent". They are usually young, inexperienced guys that think being an escort is them getting paid to do what they want to do in bed.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by Squirt
Yeah good point. I was down and out as a kid, the whole nine yards, and the thought never crossed my mind.. I just found work where I could the normal way.

But then again I never said they were "innocent". They are usually young, inexperienced guys that think being an escort is them getting paid to do what they want to do in bed.

---

actually he is very innocent. it was an older friend who put the thought into his head.

Dawgy, if he's as cute as you say he is, why not help him to get set up doing cam or modeling for porn sites.

I kind of understand what his point is, as well as yours. I think maybe most of your concern comes from caring about him and not wanting to see him get hurt. There are risk with being an escort...course, there are risk with joining the service or becoming a cop too and many young guys go into that as well.

Being an escort probably isn't a wise move for someone that's still in the "just doing it for fashion, toys and nice things" mode.

IF he were wanting to do it because he wants to insure he'll have lot's of money for his future, or be spending it on some good investments, that'd make more sence.

I have no idea how much money he "thinks" he can make as an escort...but, unless he knows somene that's done it with success or is in it now...it'd be hard to start out (unless he took a massage class and went that avenue...i.e...be able to advertise as having a legit biz)
But, I assume he could make money at doing cam or model as well...

I was alot like that though. I refused to work in food and retail too (the "shity" jobs)That's why I started my own business when I was 16 and have pretty much always been self employed.

If your friend does decide to become an escort, make sure he doesn't try to be a White House reporter like Jeff Gannon!

It's Saturday, and as of this morning, Gannon's links on escort sites are still active almost a week after the story broke. I did frame grabs of his naked pictures and posted to my blog in case they suddenly disappear.

http://www.lavenderlounge.com/blog/a...linked_to.html

if your boy does a little private escorting, no one will ever know. if he does porn, all sorts of people WILL know. to me, someone who tries escorting once may or may not do it again - i know people who tried it once just for the experience. if you do porn just one time, thousands of people will see you.

Good Lord! Send that boy's ass to college. Kinda sad if his only two options are:
Do you want fries with that? OR How about a date.

And don't go saying he can't afford it. There's too many programs out there for young ppl to get educated, not to make some actual reality based and intelligent choices.

Oh wait .. you said he was spoiled and lazy. Never mind.

Madame
Meaner than your Momma
:whip:

interesting that i have such a different take on this. maybe he isn't spoiled or lazy - maybe he just doesn't want to work a slave job at slave wages. and maybe he likes having his dick sucked.

Everyone knows I'm not very good at expressing myself accurately online, but I think this quote does a good job regarding this situation:



At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done.


We will be judged by 'I was hungry and you gave me to eat, I was naked and you clothed me, I was homeless and you took me in.'


Hungry not only for bread -- but hungry for love.
Naked not only for clothing -- but naked for human dignity and respect. Homeless not only for want of a room of bricks -- but homeless because of rejection.





Mother Teresa

Squirt - great quote! btw, i feel you often express yourself quite well.

i think the problem here is that dawgy is judging the boy by what would work for dawgy, and everyone else here believes that porn is somehow better than escort work. if you haven't noticed, yet, i don't share that belief.

i would find a couple sugar daddies than work at mcdonalds or robinsons/may. and look how hard i bust my ass on THIS job. lazy, i am not. but being treated badly, working really fast, having no choices - all for minimum wage? yuck!

the boy is 19 years old, and is perfectly capable of deciding what makes him more comfortable. seems like everyone here is ready to judge his decision based on dawgy's assessments, but are dawgy's assessments correct? sounds like he has some big issues of his own with this guy doing escort work. maybe the boy isn't lazy, but simply has priorities that aren't the average person's.

Quote:

---

Originally posted by basschick
i think the problem here is that dawgy is judging the boy by what would work for dawgy, and everyone else here believes that porn is somehow better than escort work. if you haven't noticed, yet, i don't share that belief.

---

I don't think it's better. I said the only difference is a camera, unless it is solo porn.

I agree with Madame, it seems pretty sad that this kid only sees these two things as his options. IMO the most important part is being honest with myself and not having to have sugar daddies to manipulate to get what I want out of life. I have always taken pride in being who I am, no matter what anyone else thinks. I know this is not about me, but about him. I just think the kid(which he definitly sounds like one) should not focus on the shit he wears and start focusing on who and what he wants to be. To go out on the street and sell your ass is nuts to me. Talk about scary. Let's face it, this isnt "pretty woman" where life as a prostitute is great. But then again this is my thought and it is what it is. Who am I to judge what people want to do with their lives.
Just my 2c.

I think about this issue quite a bit. And perhaps some of this is rationalization given the business I'm in, but I'd like to believe that isn't so much the case.

By and large, our models do not escort. They are excited about doing work for us, and they enjoy the notariety, visibility and praise they get from their fans (our customers) and the visibility the get in magazines and other places we advertise. We treat them well, they get to have sex with other cute guys their age that (in most cases, at least)they're attracted to, they get noticed and flattered here and there when they go to clubs and other places, and many have told us that doing work with us has really helped them to feel good about themselves and their bodies. We never ask them to do anything degrading, or something they'd be uncomfortable doing.

We have had a couple of models that are also escorts. Without exception, they've told us horror stories. Being stiffed by clients, having to have sex with older, unattractive guys that they aren't the slightest bit attracted to, having clients who are controlling, manipulative, or coercive. Of course, not all clients are like that, and perhaps those clients are a minority. But even a single client experience like that can be very hurtful and damaging to a model's esteem, his trust of others, perhaps even his health and safety if the client encourages the escort to do unhealthy things (drugs, unsafe sex, etc) as is apparently quite common.

So in my book, they are two completely different things. Doing adult work that is quality work that isn't degrading or disrespectful to the model, doing solo scenes or having sex with guys that you've been given the choice of working with or not, and having a lot of input and flexibility of what you do and how and with whom is very different from being paid to do whatever a client asks you to do.

It seems, to me, as thought adult work can be a healthy and satisfying thing for the model that approaches it in the right way. Maybe that's also posslble with escorting, but I think it would be much, much harder.

And as for the issue of the videos or photos getting out... yes, for a small minority of the guys we've worked with, there might be some discomfort the first time someone stumbles across the work, but a huge majority of our models are comfortable with themselves and the work they do, and aren't the slightest bit embarrassed. And I honestly believe that as mainstream media continues to move in the direction of displaying sexuality more directly and honestly, that the remaining stigma that exists today about adult content will eventually go away almost entirely (the Bush justice department notwithstanding.)

It depends on an escorts clients as much as it depends on who you are working with in porn. In either case, the people you choose to work with and who choose to work with you are generally what make it a good or bad experience.

Personally I would rather make porn with a group of guys I like and trust, than have a list of guys I could stand to sleep with for cash.