I hate to be depressing, but...

[Xstr8guy]

I think the US is going back in to a bleaker, more socially conservative time.

I've recently blamed Janet's tit for this development and it may go down in history as the straw that broke the camel's back. But I'm beginning to think the Britney/Madonna kiss may be the initial spark.

Maybe I'm just feeling paranoid about the whole situation (I hope so, anyways). Here's a short list of negative signs the easily come to mind.

1. The gay marriage debate - Have we opened "the Pandora's Box"? I don't think it could be made more clear to me that the government in power will do anything/everything to prevent this from happening. I'm sure everyone on this board would like to legally marry their partner, but when powerful people like G.B.jr. calls for a ban and even former allies like Jesse Jackson offer no support... where do we stand?

Is this our "Civil Rights Movement"? If it is, we should really have the support of "the people"! Guess what? We don't! Our only allies are the ultra-liberals such as SF Mayor Gavin Newsom and other loose canons. Sure, he made a bold move, but the back-lash that it is creating is immense and far-reaching.

And honestly, making gay marriage "legal" in SF is not going to do me any good with my conservative neighbors here in Dallas. They may like my partner and I as people... and they may not even mind that we are a couple, but when they go to their Southern Baptist church next Sunday... they will most likely be saying a prayer for us... that we will see the errors of our ways and be saved from our awful sin.

Those of us that have the luxury to only surround ourselves with like-minded people do NOT have a clear view of what the real America is. My conservative Southern Baptist neighbors (and others with similar beliefs)are the REAL America! And the will be voting for a constitutional ammendment to BAN gay marriages if it is ever put to a general vote... I Guaran-FUCKING-tee It! Many people are cool about the "gay thing" to our faces, but behind closed doors, they think that we are sick/weird/crazy/deformed/damaged or just plain WRONG!

I would like nothing more than to marry my beloved Toby, but you know, I would have been pretty damn happy to share a civil union... and I think we were a lot closer to that reality than to gay marriage. In my (now) pessimistic mind, I feel we are a million miles away from either.


2. The new Religous/Moral zealotry that is taking hold is very alarming to me. During my day-job, I listen to a lot of talk radio. And if you ever have noticed, on commercial radio stations there are virtually zero liberal voices heard. By default, I listen to ultra-conservative wackos spout their hatred for anything that strays from their very narrow moral compass. And the idiots that call in fan the flame of hatred. Right now the fire is at a fever pitch!

First the Madonna/Britney (poor Christina keeps getting left out)... then the gay marriage debate... Janet's tit... more gay marriage debate... and now THEIR SAVIOUR IS COMING!

This damn Mel Gibson movie (sorry if I offend any Christians here) is going to work up their religous zealotry to a white hot heat. Churchs are buying tens of thousands of tickets for "The Passion of The Christ". It is promoted on every media outlet constantly and discussed everywhere by the common man (I'm straight for my day-job and I am privvy to a lot of conservative chatter). Right now is the absolute right time for this movie to come out so as to reinforce their values and to give them power to inflict them on the rest of us.

The Grammies gets put on a super duper deluxe delay. Now the FCC is considering expanding into pay television (HBO, Showtime, etc.) Clear Channel has taken Howard Stern off all it's affiliate stations for obsenity (his show is still airing on other radio networks). Local radio shows in this market have installed back-up censoring devices. WHAT NEXT!?


I feel that my world is crashing in! Is it just me? Please... make me feel better... or if absolutely necessary, add to my paranoia with your negative observations.



*** I apologize if this post is rambling and/or incoherant, I'm under the influence of cough syrup, decongestants and antibotics for a ripping sinus infection **

[basschick]

it's not paranoia, unfortunately - it's very depressing :-( sometimes so distressing that i actively cannot bear to think about it all...

[Scorpio]

Originally posted by Xstr8guy
I would like nothing more than to marry my beloved Toby, but you know, I would have been pretty damn happy to share a civil union... and I think we were a lot closer to that reality than to gay marriage. In my (now) pessimistic mind, I feel we are a million miles away from either.

That's exactly what i think too... i was fine with the civil union and was hoping that things would all go that way pretty soon and because of that marriage thing, everything is put back and that's only going to get worse

[Jasun]

Originally posted by Xstr8guy
(I'm straight for my day-job and I am privvy to a lot of conservative chatter).

I can't imagine how much that must suck, being attacked and not even being able to defend yourself. I've never really been in that situation at work; I've always been out at work, but in Toronto, it's completely different than it is in Dallas, I'm sure.

But really, bud, don't let it get you down. The tide really is turning, and it's happening faster than any of us realize. About 20 years ago, support for gay marraige or even civil unions was about 10%. 10 years ago, that had jumped to about 30%. It's now at about 45%. This means that in about 10 to 15 years, support will be there for us.... and I realize that gay marraige is really just a symbol, but it's the tip of the iceburg. With that will come much more mainstream acceptance. You'll be able to walk the street with your boyfriend without having to watch your back... you'll be able to be yourself at work... you'll be able to be the responsible contributing member of your community that you want to be. It's already starting to happen. Things change very fast... Who'd have thought that we'd have so much support from the straight community when they have nothing to gain by supporting us other than the knowledge that they're in the right?

I'm starting to ramble.

I guess the only thing that you can do to help this along is to be the person you want to be, and live like you would live in the world you'd want to live in. I'm not saying you have to come out at work, or come out to parents and friends if it's just not an option, I'm saying that if we want to live a certain way, we have to just start living that way, and eventually, that world can be ours.

It's gonna happen... really.

[jIgG]

my boyfriend's parents are very religious. i'd even say fundamentals. however, they seem to be very allright with us being together. i tend to believe it's two things. they've seen us together and how we take care of each other. i had to take my boyfriend to the ER 3 times, and his mom especially I know feels much better having me around. Then I don't get in their religious business, never. I don't question them or anything. If they want to watch TBN or 700 Club in the living room I never say anything.
And they dislike my brother in-law's wife

However, seeing how the current marriages are going, it reminds me of watching blacks in 60s and 70s, they too forcefully made people accept them in society, much like we forcefully are trying to make people accept our marriages today. It remains to be seen if it will work.

[jIgG]

speaking of radio

Cavuto on FoxNews, had an opinion from two people that Howard won't be banned. and if he is he'd move to XM which Clear Channel fear because it would hurt them big time.
which is logical.

even rush limbaugh was against taking howard off air. who knew

[Xstr8guy]

I appreciate all of your comments and let me respond to a few points...

Jasun, my greatest fear is, that after years of growing acceptance, we are now headed in the opposite direction. I fear that the tide is now turning and we will be (in a short time) returning to pre-stonewall days. I fear that we have peaked and that it is going to be futile battle for many years to keep the few gains that we've earned.

Today, George W. Bush has done the most despicable thing ever in the history The Constitution. He has drafted the first amendment in history that restricts the human rights of it's law abiding citizens. Sure, it has to pass Congess and then be ratified by the states... but people, we are currently in a very disadvataged position here. Our government is controlled by Republicans, our number 1 contender for Democratic Presidential nominee is opposed to gay marriage and a growing majority of this nations citizens are against gay marriage. If the constitution is amended, we will not see legalized gay marriage in this country in our lifetimes! And you could pretty much forget civil unions as well.


Jigg, I heard Rush's comment's today about Howard Stern. And this has to be the first time he has ever made sense to me. He also said something that confirmed my fears. He said that the meter of morality periodicly swings suddenly from loose moral values to strong moral values... that it never stays in the middle. In his opinion, the meter has maxxed out (Janet's boob and gay marriage) and we are due for a wild swing back to opposite end of the meter (the passing of an ammendment banning gay marriage). I don't want to agree with this theory, but unfortunately, I think he is dead on with this observation.

You might all think I'm really whacked out, but I think Howard Stern has done great things for the freedom of the media. You might not like his show, but history will show him as a true pioneer. I think if he decided to rally his troops and fight this new battle he is facing, he would ultimately be victorious. Even if he decided to leave the public airwaves and move to XM, he would spur a cultural change to private broadcasts which would create more opportunities for less popular opinions... such as our's.


I am not usually politcally outspoken... infact, I may be ignorant on some of my facts. I just felt the need to express myself and felt that this was a good place to vent. Thanks to all for listening!

[jIgG]

i don't think the amendment will pass.
it takes too long to debate it. 3-4 years some say even 7 years. by that time people will be tired of all of it

and people forget and move on, so probably only the 700 club viewers will be left to make noise. but you never know

[Jasun]

You know what, Xstr8guy, you're right, in many ways, but in others I think you're letting your fears get the better of you.

The pendulum does swing, but has there ever been a danger of us bringing back slavery? How about taking the vote away from women? Disallowing interracial marriage? Do you think that it might suddenly be illegal to be gay again?

None of this is going to happen. We've hit a bump in the road, and we might have to slow down. But that's all we'll have to do... we're not going back to pre-stonewall days.. we're too strong now.

Before Stonewall, there was no gay movement at all... being gay was something you did late at night in dark places. You think all of the gay couples with families are gonna return them to the orphanage? The gay celebrities are gonna go back in the closet? Gay characters are going to come off TV? You can't put toothpaste back in the tube.

I know that the political cliamte in the States right now is volitile at best, but it gets rather ugly every election year, and right now, you're at war, your economy is failing and your unemplayment is going up... people are restless... they need causes they can understand, but it won't last too long.

If you want proof that gays and lesbians really can live just fine out in the open with straight people without any problems, why don't you come up and visit us here in Toronto.. we'll have a big GWW party. (and really... come up for Pride Day... I've yet to see an American who comes up for Pride Day that doesn't fall down when they see how fully integrated the gay and straight communities are)

I think that the best thing for you to do right now is instead of sitting in your house dreading the future, decide what you can do to change it. Maybe it IS time to come out at work... maybe you could do some work for a local candidate that you support... maybe you can volunteer at a local gay and lesbian community center, or make an annymous donation to the HRC... whatever you're comfortable doing. And now that I've dared you to put your money where your mouth is, I guess I'll have to as well, which means that I guess I really am gonna move back to the US. Hey... there'll be one more pro-gay guy down there.

What the hell am I getting myself into?

[Xstr8guy]

The pendulum does swing, but has there ever been a danger of us bringing back slavery? How about taking the vote away from women? Disallowing interracial marriage? Do you think that it might suddenly be illegal to be gay again?

What about abortion rights? How close are we to losing that right?

I don't mean to be argumentative and I certainly appreciate and need your views! I am out in all other aspects of my life... all of my friends and family know and accept and still love me... I'm lucky! Even my ex-wife knows, although we don't speak anymore for other reasons.

Being closeted at work is a difficult choice for me, but it is in my best interest to keep it a secret. I don't exactly work in a cosmopolitan/progressive/enlightened enviroment. I think people suspect it, but the comfort level would be much worse if anyone knew for sure. I live in the center of the REDNECK universe... Scorpio may disagree (fellow Dallas resident). I'm not afraid to go out to the bars with my partner or walk the streets of Oaklawn (the gay area), but I'm not about to go to the State Fair and hold hands. I know my limits... and work is where I draw the line. My goal is to quit the day job soon and work full-time as a webmaster. And any other job I take in the future, I will be out and proud.