Euro-English to become the official language of the European Union rather than German

[Doctor Dre]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”.

Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”.

This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”.

This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

http://www.internethumorsucks.com/20...r-than-german/

[Paco]

LOL - Guess I'll have to drop the Esperanto lessons.

Yo, Dre, I have a question for you: why do some English pronounce words that end with an 'a' as if they have a 'r' ?

Example would be beta ... when my limey flavoured friend says it, it ends up sounding like bayter ?

[dalimili]

I was scared it was true, but I see it's just a joke... Hopefully english will be replaced by some other language in near future... even latin was once widely spoken and look at it now

[Ines]

Great news for us Germans Will be much easier to learn and write English

[Doctor Dre]

LOL - Guess I'll have to drop the Esperanto lessons.

Yo, Dre, I have a question for you: why do some English pronounce words that end with an 'a' as if they have a 'r' ?

Example would be beta ... when my limey flavoured friend says it, it ends up sounding like bayter ?

Probably learned this in school but I can't answer ... I'm a french-canadian guy

[Doctor Dre]

I was scared it was true, but I see it's just a joke... Hopefully english will be replaced by some other language in near future... even latin was once widely spoken and look at it now

french could have been the #1 language ... and used to be ...

[Hamilton Steele]

And in a related story....

The french decided to pull out of the European Union, build a giant wall around France and point their fingers at all tourists and snicker.

They have also decided to remove all cheap Chinese panties from the store shelves which has left France in violation of the Kyoto agreement. Because the body-odour fumes from Frenchmen, and especially their military, going without undergarments has hit record levels. - Sources close to the goverment say "French Women" are un-affected.