Do you ever feel ashamed of what you do?

[marcjacob]

I was in a club about a week ago, very very drunk. I told this guy about the porn sites - he asked what i did for a living (almost as if i did it full time ).

He wasnt that impressed - in fact he seriously looked down on me, like im some sort of pervert. Hes probably brought some of the porn i promo!

Im wondering about you guys who do it full time. What do you tell your parents, how do you feel when you put it on tax returns (i put "marketing" - ill tell you if they except it next april - i think before i put adult entertainment but i was younger then!).

Do you ever feel ashamed or has anyone ever made you feel that way?

[CalumJ]

The way I see it... I dont rub it in there face..but if they ask I tell them.

If they dont like it, then its tough shit, its not my problem.

I see no reason to hide what I do, nor do I throw it about.

Its a balance between honesty and not telling everyone, just because you do porn..although like i just said... its there problem, not mine

[maxpower]

LOL, its not the first thing I bring up but most guys really like the idea, this has to be one of the most competitive fields in the world now days because just about everyone and their brother wants to do it. Generally negative reactions like that has more to do with that particular persons own feeling of antiquates and has nothing to do with you at all. Besides shame is not a emotion I manifest very often.

[basschick]

my mother has always known what i do, and my experience is that if you don't feel bad about what you do, most people are interested rather than looking down on you.

and no one COULD make me feel that way. i have accomplished more doing this than any of my mainstream working friends have accomplished in their jobs, skilled or otherwise.

doing this, i have developed all sorts of marketing skills, i know tons more than the average person about search engines, i can now create and edit videos, pics and animations. i can do html, some java, css and even a teeny tiny amount of php and because of adult, i can now find a great server deal even for non adult sites - because i understand hosting better.

i also learned about printing when we started out - not tons, but a lot more than i knew going in. and i know lots of small useful things - LOTS!

not to mention that in 1996 my son and i spent around $1500 and have been supporting ourselves from money earned from that original investment ever since. that money supports two households. not bad for a $1500 investment.

nope, i have nothing to be ashamed of.

[desslock]

Me ashamed?

No not at all. Remember, presentation is everything.

But it is just like your sexual orientation, our profession is something that stangers could negatively misinterpret when divulged in inappropriate situations.

I'd say that pretty much all of my friends know, and I told my parents over a year ago. Specifically in the case of my mom and many of my friends, they were delighted and relieved, because I think after seeing me flounder about for seven years lost, living on pennies after giving up a very good "real job"... they were all scratching their heads over what it was I was doing with my life.

This year I took my mom to Vegas for her birthday, and my friends don't have to give me car rides everywhere.....

Plus I've had many fun eposides. People talk.

I recently was buying a beer from the patio bartender at one of my hangouts. This bartender and I are always friendly and we know each other by name. Well he was handng me my beer and he asked with a grin "so what it the address to your web cam?" And I replied, "My webcam?"

He explained that he had "heard" that I did these "shows" on a webcam in my bedroom. This was the first of the many weird and varyed misinterpretations of what I do for a living. I corrected him, but people still joke about it... and that's ok.

In fact when I told my mom about friskyfans... I wanted to be absolutely clear, so I specified --- "I don't *do* porn.... I just write about it."

And I've made that same point to others subsequently. It gets a little laugh, and allows you to control it so that any tension vanishes.

Steve

[Lee]

Yes i do, there are several people in the industry that make me feel ashamed to call myself an adult webmaster, thats not even including GFY.

The bar has been lowered far to much, nowadays its shameful the amount of people using that term.

Regards,

Lee

[Squirt]

Yes i do, there are several people in the industry that make me feel ashamed to call myself an adult webmaster, thats not even including GFY.

The bar has been lowered far to much, nowadays its shameful the amount of people using that term.

Regards,

Lee

Yes especially people posting on boards without even 1 working website but being in the industry posting for over 5 years amazing

[desslock]

People talk.

Steve

[tombarr]

my mother has always known what i do,

My mother and her husband not only know what I do, they offered to help me sell my videos in their hometown.

not to mention that in 1996 my son and i spent around $1500 and have been supporting ourselves from money earned from that original investment ever since. that money supports two households. not bad for a $1500 investment.

nope, i have nothing to be ashamed of.

That is something to DEFINATELY be proud of. An example of what is called the "American Dream", despite the industry acceptance issue.
A big hearty "Good on Ya" (sorry borrowed that from an aussie friend) to you and your son!

[gaybucks_chip]

I'm not uncomfortable about it, and neither is AJ. In fact, his 98 year old great-grandmother has helped us with negotiation strategies and advice, and while he was waiting to settle on his house and staying with his dad, there were about 10,000 porn DVDs in practically every room of his dad's house (including when the mayor came over for lunch.)

The things that do make me uncomfortable are not about us and the way we run our company, but some of the REALLY sleazy stuff that some people do in the name of profits. I'm talking about the people whose sites install malware on people's computers, or the sites that grossly misrepresent their content, or lie, cheat, and misrepresent things to their models in order to get them to perform, or to bareback, or whatever.

Of course, that sort of sleaze exists in every industry, but the adult industry has a seedier reputation, deserved or not, because of the type of content we produce, and so any sort of sleaze is amplified that much more.

[IntenseCash.com]

I'm not ashamed of what I do. I remember when my parents completely freaked out and thought I was going to jail because I did porn. I still don't talk to them much about it. My boyfriends parents know everything and are very supportive as well as all my friends. I have always wanted my own business and it really seems like the perfect business to be in. I have met some amazing people and where else do people actually help each other out regardless if they are competition.

Like Chip said I am only ashamed of the fraud and some of the business practices that some companies do. I do think that what comes around goes around and hopefully those companies will one day pay.

Mark

[marcjacob]

Yes especially people posting on boards without even 1 working website but being in the industry posting for over 5 years amazing

Funny that, i dont have a single working website yet i get checks on a weekly basis from sponsors i promote. Good trick huh.

[maxpower]

The only thing I am ashamed of in this industry is those self proclaimed moral compasses, we have around that love to tell other people what content they feel is acceptable, and this school yard mentality some webmasters have. You know 99% of all this is just BS, and just new ways to promote their programs, and discredit other hard working webmasters/photographers. :bs:

[marcjacob]

Well new year and all that, i might prepare my folks for it. I thinks its pretty brave of those of you whos parents know. Ill tell them its extra cash which is true but im working on going full time. If they disown me ill blame you lot (joke of course).

[Sana Chan]

I'm not ashamed, hell I'm proud that something I create could get someone's rocks off. It is all about how you present it and understanding the person you are telling. If you know they don't have the mentality or the personality to deal with it, then I don't bring it up.

My parents know. Mom is one of my main editors, though that may change now that she's graduated from law school. hehe, at least i always have a lawyer handy. My dad doesn't care, though he did confess he doens't want me doing pics or videos for fear of finding them while surfing HIS porn. Two of my dad's brothers know. One is gay and asking for suggestions for sites, the other is so far leftist he thinks I'm "fighting the man" by being a woman in the gay male section.

My grandparents....well....they don't know. And hopefully won't until I can completely support myself with it. Neither are of the mentality to accept that their sweet innocent darling granddaughter works in porn. I'm their angel, and I'll let them keep that little false image until the time is right. My dad's youngest brother and my mom's brother don't know because they are the conservative ones of the family and frankly I don't want to listen to them bitch to me about how "immoral" I'm acting. Fuck them and their morality.

Of my friends, nearly all my closest friends know. A few at my joe job know as well but those are ones I trust to not spread it around. My other job doesn't need to know what I do in my own home.