Are you masculine or feminine?

[Dzinerbear]

Is it just me, or does anyone else find the new Luvloot's manluv.com gay personals site just a bit off the mark? They ask guys signing up for profile to categorize themselves as a masculine guy or feminine guy. I find that pretty weird and un-gay. Do we really need to be categorized in this way?

Michael

[Bec]

I find it weird still to be asked if I'm femme or butch ... it's like, I'm just ME ... why do some feel that I have to have yet another "label" ???

[HotMaleVideos]

Aside from a lot of feminine guys having a skewed view of whether they're masculine or not?

Yeah, it's a bit of an odd question. At least some of those guys are honest. LOL.

[longboardjim]

maybe it's a way of asking "indirectly" are you "top or bottom?"

sincerely ~ ..."top-only" looking for cuddley-bottom that likes to get rimmed & rammed for hours , please submit pic's of bumper!"... :fool:

[Dzinerbear]

maybe it's a way of asking "indirectly" are you "top or bottom?"

Yeah, I thought of that, too, but it's just stupid, fueling the stereotype that to be a bottom is less than a man, submissive, feminine ... why not just ask if you're a top or bottom rather than attaching some judgement to it?

Michael

[basschick]

and yet one of my best friends is a very effeminate top.

i think asking people if they're masculine or feminine is a rude question myself - and pointless since masculine and feminine vary according to the eyes of the beholder.

maybe it's a way of asking "indirectly" are you "top or bottom?"

sincerely ~ ..."top-only" looking for cuddley-bottom that likes to get rimmed & rammed for hours , please submit pic's of bumper!"... :fool:

[longboardjim]

agreed! , i think it's rude but it does "cut to the chase" when determing potential sex partners for the evening instead of being surprised later with another top. (interpreted: i am attracted to other masculine men such as myself so too often i am hitting on other tops!)
i have run across "effeminate" tops (needlepoint anyone?) and "masculine" bottoms (field tested and jack-hammered approved!) so it does vary. (interpreted: when bottoms are not masking the "scent" with cologne's and perfumed soaps you can smell a guy who wants to be...)
this also explains why i seem to be more "group-oriented" (interpreted: i'm too much of a gentlemen to ask?)

sincerely ~ ..."all topped up and no one to ram!"... :fool:

[Ethan Masters]

You also have people that find feminine guys as a turn off, maybe they see it as just another screening point. If i'm a guy that wants to date a guy that actually acts like one, running across someone who wears makeup and pumps on the weekend might not be the one for me *shrugs*

Still though, people definitely dwell too much on labeling EVERYTHING!

[longboardjim]

agreed! , too many labels , why can we just leave it as a generic "dominate/submissive" (interpreted: a woman can be dominate)

sincerely ~ ..."me tarzan , you jane!"... :fool:

[Lee]

You also have people that find feminine guys as a turn off, maybe they see it as just another screening point. If i'm a guy that wants to date a guy that actually acts like one, running across someone who wears makeup and pumps on the weekend might not be the one for me *shrugs*

Still though, people definitely dwell too much on labeling EVERYTHING!

I actually do think this is what they were trying to do in some kind of 'screening' process.

Regards,

Lee

[friskypickles]

Not to change the angle of the subject matter but I think it's hilarious when you have these preconceived notions of what a porn model sounds and moves like when all that you have seen is photos and him in action on film. I won't name names but I've met several models and known some that the moment they are off camera and open their mouths, out comes Madonna, Snagglepuss, and Bruce Vilanch all rolled into one. Some are brutal tops on film.

What I am saying is, before we start labeling ourselves again on chat sites more, we need to think about how we are portraying gay men on film. Butch? Femme? Does it really matter?

[mistwist]

Hi guys someone just pointed this out to me and I want to clear something up.

We are not trying to label anyone at ManLuv, it's not about a label, it is about helping a guy find exactly what he is looking for easily. Some men prefer a fem guys, some prefer a masculine guys.

If you were to sign up to another site and do a search, man seeking man, but you prefer fem guys over masculine wouldn't your search be made a little easier if things were broken down further?

It's for ease of use, to help the end user find the exact person he is looking for, nothing more.

[Sha]

I have met many of bottoms that were very masculine though. I think it is just another stereotype that some want to try to associate with tops and bottoms.

I do think that it makes since to ask that question on a hookup site though. Some guys do prefer more fem guys and of course some like their guys a bit more masculine. I personally prefer that masculine man.

[XXXWriterDude]

I, too, am annoyed by the gay community's insistence on rigid stereotypes. I think the exclusionary tactics that many gay men practice are often delusional, prompted by insecurity, and just bad form.

I think that if more gay men truly loved themselves and their bodies, they wouldn't place so much importance on things like masculine/feminine, body type and whether or not someone is quote-unquote "athletic" (read: Abercrombie Zombie).

A lot of what we find attractive in other people is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves, i.e., men who MUST have a dominant masculine top may be looking to reinforce their own shaky masculinity. Guys who want big muscle men might be looking for the strength that they feel they lack in their own lives. Guys who chase after feminine guys only might be looking to prove how strong they are.

I truly feel that the gay community suffers from a bevy of issues surrounding gender and identity issues, and that if somehow more of us could simply stop trying so hard to fit into rigid labels that we think might make us "normal" or more attractive to other gay men, then we would simply relax and let each other be who we are, and you would see a lot more interaction, copulation and mating between the various types.

I say this as someone who has suffered through all of these issues myself. I could write a book on the confusion, frustration and fear that I was faced with growing up a sissy boy in smalltown, white, Republican Pennsylvania. I had masculinity issues out the wazoo for many many years, and I still struggle with them today, though not at all in any way that interferes with my relationships with other men. The older and more comfortable with myself and my body that I've become, the more relaxed I've become in terms of what I am looking for in a partner--whether permanent or temporary. As soon as I realized that I had these issues, I began to work on them. Sadly, I think too many people realize they have issues and then use them as an excuse for shallow behavior instead of thinking outside the box and actually seeing the beauty in ALL KINDS of people, not just their preferred types.

[XXXWriterDude]

Hi guys someone just pointed this out to me and I want to clear something up.

We are not trying to label anyone at ManLuv, it's not about a label, it is about helping a guy find exactly what he is looking for easily. Some men prefer a fem guys, some prefer a masculine guys.

If you were to sign up to another site and do a search, man seeking man, but you prefer fem guys over masculine wouldn't your search be made a little easier if things were broken down further?

It's for ease of use, to help the end user find the exact person he is looking for, nothing more.

Regardless of sentiments expressed in my previous post, I understand what you're trying to accomplish with ManLuv, Melissa. It makes perfect sense. Hopefully one day gay men won't place such importance on things like "masculine" and "feminine," but that's not really your problem as a business owner serving the gay market.