Bareback Sex Clarification

[Dzinerbear]

Hi all,

I’ve remained silent through the debate because I needed time to collect my thoughts. This is a difficult topic and discussions become heated easily.

First of all, I’d like to apologize to Bill of Hot Desert Knights. I really should have given him a heads up on my decision and the press release. Bill and I have known each other for a number of years and I really owed him that. The fact is that I was so focussed on cleaning up Gay Porn Pig, writing the press release, and distributing it that Bill completely fell out of my head. And I regret that immensely. I sure learned Lesson #1 in public relations: Sit down, take a breath, consider all the options and possibilities before you hit “send.” I’ve already spoken to Bill off-board, but thought it was important to apologize to him publicly. So Bill, for my absent-mindedness and lack of consideration, I do apologize. It was not my desire to hurt you in any way.

Second of all, when you issue a press release you have 200 to 300 words to make a statement and get your point across. You certainly don’t have enough room to discuss fully a complicated issue like bareback sex. And you certainly have no control over how the story gets spun. So allow me to clarify things here.

My decision to remove bareback sex content from Gay Porn Pig is a personal decision. I am in fact not anti-bareback sex, I am pro communication. I have always believed that it’s important for two people to be honest with their status and to discuss the risks they are willing to take and assume. As an example, if two presumed HIV-negative guys have a conversation, disclose their last test dates, and are willing to fuck without condoms, that’s between them. Yes, there are all kinds of pitfalls and risks in their decision: there’s a window period, tops can still become infected, there may be minuscule amounts of HIV is precum, and so on, but at least they had the conversation. No sex is risk-free.

Just as some people choose to smoke, drink excessively, take recreational drugs, and eat themselves into morbid obesity, some people will choose to engage in sexual behaviour that may bring about undesired consequences. We simply cannot save everyone from themselves.

And for many other HIV-positive men, bareback sex is simply how they choose to express themselves. And I’m not talking about recklessness. I’m talking about having real and honest conversations with our lovers about how we want to live out the rest of our time. When faced with a shortened life, many HIV-positive men have chosen to remove condoms from their sexual relationship and enjoy whatever time they have left. Yes, again, there are risks, let’s not debate it. So long as you’ve had an informed conversation and made a joint decision with your sexual partner, there’s little else to say except, “Well, that’s your choice.”

I also believe that we all have the right to produce and promote whatever content we want, so long as it isn’t breaking any obvious laws like using under-aged models or filming actual rape scenes. If I had decided to remove all twink content from Gay Porn Pig’s directory, the post on this board probably would have fallen to page two relatively quickly. But the bareback sex issue almost always divides this community. And I suppose that’s because it’s not a black and white issue. You can say, “Yes it is, use condoms every time. There that’s black and white.” But such an approach doesn’t work for everyone. “Just say no to drugs” didn’t work for everyone either. And when we figured that out, we saw the emergence of harm reduction programs. Where HIV, AIDS, and bareback sex is concerned, I believe in a harm reduction approach: inform yourself, have conversations with your sexual partners, and make decisions about the level of risk you’re willing to assume.

I do not seek to demonize the producers of bareback sex. And as such, I didn’t mention any of them by name. Some bareback sex companies are taking steps to inform their viewers, others are not. For some, public service announcements aren’t enough, and they’d still condemn a bareback sex production. So from Gay Porn Pig’s point of view, it’s pretty difficult to (a) convey a whole bunch of information about a site in a 468 x 60 banner, and (b) it’s impossible for me to verify with every producer the steps they took when making their bareback video. It’s just easier for me to remove it all.

I also said in my press release, “I’m saddened that many of us are putting profits ahead of caring for our community.” Read that carefully. I said “many.” I did not say “all.” And by saying “us” I was including myself in this. I was not pointing fingers at specific producers and webmasters, and I was not saying that all bareback sex producers care only about profits. Clearly not all producers and webmasters work under the same set of motivations in regards to any issue.

Over the past year, I have been developing a growing sense of personal responsibility. Some of it is still fuzzy, confusing, and changing. But I do feel that some people will see stuff on my site and take something away with them. Some may even modify their behaviour. Some have said that’s not my responsibility, but I’m not so sure that’s true. So as I move forward with my future endeavours, my position is not that bareback sex is bad, but that AIDS and HIV are still thriving, and here’s what Joe Surfer needs to know to protect himself. I can’t decide what is best for you and your sexual partners to do, but I can decide what you’ll see on my sites.

And yes, I’m sure if you’ll dig deep enough in The Pig, you’ll find some links to freesites and galleries showing bareback sex content. I’m still working on going through the inventory in my directory of nearly 12,000 listings and cleaning things up. I also have other sites for which I have purchased a great amount of new content and I’ll begin replacing the bareback content as time and money permits. This is probably going to be a year-long project for me. And my beginnings are not perfect, but they are sincere.

The only thing that I hope for out of all of this is that each one of us can stand in a mirror and ask ourselves: Am I okay with how I earn my living? Am I okay with the content I produce? Am I proud of it? If not, how can I make it better? Do I need to change, and if so, how? These are very personal questions that only each one of us can ask and answer ourselves. And as long as we can do that and live with the answers, then there’s little left to say or do. I can agree or disagree with you, but I can’t change you.

Regards,
Michael

[hdkbill]

Michael,

As you said, we spoken off the board privately. I certainly appreciate and accept your apology.

After reading your clarification I understanding completely where you are coming from and appreciate your candor and honesty as to how you arrived at your decision.

As you said, this issue is not black and white and the "shades of grey" seem to change daily.

Thanks for the clarification.

Hugs,

Bill