Damn... A Friend Just Told Us He Has HIV.

[Lee]

The kicker, he's only 20 and swears that he only had unsafe sex with one guy back in Feb, kinda sad that someone so young would do something that ends up giving him this

He was a good kid to, unlike most of the scumbags around these parts.

I really didnt know what to say to him when he told us, i mean seriously, what DO you say when someone tells you that other than that you are there for them if they need to talk or anything?

Crazy stuff.

Regards,

Lee

[Lee]

Oh and to top it all off, the guy he *knows* with certainty he got it from, isnt answering his phone, so our friend doesnt even know if the guy he slept with is even aware himself yet!

Regards,

Lee

[DEVELISH]

I tell them that I am sorry and that it will not affect our friendship...
In the next days you should not only say it, but show it! If he wants company invite him over, go out, do NORMAL stuff. If he wants to talk, listen, do not blame him - he already knows better.

I dunno if you ever had a friend disclosing his status... For some its a tough ride, for some a smooth cruise.

Last two who told me, one guy was rather nervous cuz his long year boyfriend got a positive test back and he was all nervous about it, BUT he know he MUST have aquired HIV during their relationship. His partner was all introverted for a few weeks and the other guy was like "well... I have it"

Told so to everybody with HIV that I know, and I know about 7 or 8 with HIV - it does not matter greatly to me so I do not keep close track, BUT it's about a third of the people I know.

Should I say "sadly"? I honestly do not know.
Am I sad for one person when he has another type of STD? Am I sad when somebody has Hepatitis A/B/C? Am I say when somebody is diabetic? Am I sad when somebody is deaf or in a wheelchair? Obese or anorexic?

There are other things that would make me stay away from people than HIV.

Lee, if he is truely a friend (not an american type of "friend" you got to know about 3 days ago) of yours, and/or you like this guy just be there and let him know and show him that he's got a place to go and be either in company or left alone.

But treat him like you did before he told you of his status.

DEV

[nickbaer]

The other guy might be hiding from him, but he can't hide from the Health Dept.

While we know how HIV is transmitted, thru semen, blood and some other body fluids, we will never know if those are the only transmission methods, and we do not know (for certain) how the virulent HIV virus related to AIDS got into the human species in the first place.

Was it patient zero, the Canadian flight attendant who travelled to sub-Saharan Africa, and had sex with men there? how did those men acquire HIV? Was it Polio vaccine manufactured in Africa in the 1950s? Is the only co-factor of HIv and illicit street drugs the unsafe sex, that can occur during their use, due to bad decision making under the influence?

That and the false info most teens have that if they have sex, and unsafe sex, amongst themselves, they will be immune. NOT!

[nickbaer]

Man appears free of HIV after stem cell transplant - CNN.com

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/11...ref=rss_latest

"42-year-old HIV patient with leukemia appears to have no detectable HIV in his blood and no symptoms after a stem cell transplant from a donor carrying a gene mutation that confers natural resistance ..."

Another carefully spoken issue with HIV is that of genetics. There is anecdotal reference to some amount of genetic resistance to HIV amongst modern day descendants of specific European ancestors, who contracted and survived the Black Plague epidemics of the 1400s and 1600s.

The Black Plague wiped out two-thirds of the population in a narrow swath of countries from Italy to Spain, and upwards to the Germanic tribes and England. It did not (similarly) affect Asia, the MidEast, Africa nor the Americas.

Thus, after subtracting the cases resulting from very bad sexual behaviors and drug influenced decision making, HIV/AIDS disproportionately affects Africans, South Americans, Mexicans (Central Americans), Native Americans, Asians.

The correlation between the Black Plague of the 1400s and 1600s, and modern day AIDS is relevant. Descendants of survivors of the one are more resistant to the other, and potentially that survivors of descendants of persons with AIDS will several hundreds of years from now be more resistant to the epidemics of those times.

[Lee]

But treat him like you did before he told you of his status.

DEV

I agree and we will, he's a good kid and we do like him, he even has a job with us when we get our next bar/club as a shooter boy LOL

Regards,

Lee

[worldofmen]

More and more young guys from 18 to 26 are getting HIV because no one talks to them about HIV prevention and there is a ton of bareback porn with young guys in it (like them) making them think "if they don't wear a condom, why should I?"

Also, they seem to be attracted to older guys that say "I don't have HIV" but they actually do and assume the young one has it because they do not push the use of condoms.

Don't treat people with HIV any different. In fact, they need more love and understanding.

I hope these trends stop. I also hope they find a cure soon!

[jIgG]

well if the guy was aware he had HIV your friend should call the cops immediately!

In Florida it's illegal to have sex and not tell if you have HIV regardless if you're asked or not. You must state it prior to any sexual encounters. It's a 3rd degree felony if convicted

And he might be doing it to others so I'd definitely contact authorities asap

As for your friend, he needs all the counseling he can get so I'd encourage him to go and talk to a qualified professional. And especially study carefully what his options are as far as treatments are concerned

[jIgG]

More and more young guys from 18 to 26 are getting HIV because no one talks to them about HIV prevention and there is a ton of bareback porn with young guys in it (like them) making them think "if they don't wear a condom, why should I?"

Also, they seem to be attracted to older guys that say "I don't have HIV" but they actually do and assume the young one has it because they do not push the use of condoms.

Don't treat people with HIV any different. In fact, they need more love and understanding.

I hope these trends stop. I also hope they find a cure soon!

no
they *lie* they don't have HIV, and it's on purpose not because they think the younger guy is hiv+ as well.

Either way it's criminal, plenty of states have laws against not disclosing status

[worldofmen]

no
they *lie* they don't have HIV, and it's on purpose not because they think the younger guy is hiv+ as well.

Either way it's criminal, plenty of states have laws against not disclosing status

That's hard to prove so why don't we all protect ourselves with a condom every time? Thus, that will make the mystery disappear. And how about less boy porn out there making young guys think its ok not to use a condom?

[jIgG]

not all but some, plenty to cause enough trouble

I'm not seeing the adult industry doing anything seeing as how the gay side of it is the only one with known HIV+ models fucking without condoms and proudly so. Just recently came across a gay video with a certain "star" who is HIV+ sticking his dick in a 20-ish year old and enjoying it. So...

[rawTOP]

There's a good article in the NY Times today about the criminalization of HIV...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/20/health/20essa.html

"Were it a matter of science alone, all those AIDS statutes could be rescinded tomorrow."

I'm really shocked to see people here supporting the criminalization of HIV. In the vast majority of situations, it's just wrong. First, not returning phone calls does not mean the guy is poz. Second, even if he were, it usually takes WAY more than one incident of unprotected sex to become poz. If the guy was on meds there's almost no chance he infected the kid from one encounter.

And lastly, the guy could have become infected during "safe sex". Condoms fail 5-10% of the time. Assuming he had been sexually active and had sex once week for two years we're talking about 100 incidents of "safe sex". Those 100 encounters would be the equivalent of 5 to 10 incidents of unprotected sex. So that means he's 5 to 10 times more likely to have become poz by having safe sex than he was from the one incident of unsafe sex.

That said, yes, teens need frank, HONEST discussions of risks and consequences. They also need to be taught how to put a condom on properly since that affects how often it fails... But telling them they're not to blame when they become poz and that someone else should go to jail for it is just incredibly wrong.

[Oogleman]

Know how you felt Lee. My first time being told by a friend was a huge shock.

Nowadays those guys can live a pretty long and normal life but they need to be disciplined and stick to the regime.

Best thing you could do for him is to check periodically that hes doing what he should meds wise.

[Matt 26z]

Ideally, there would be a way for society to require the testing of various conditions every X number of months.

It would be impossible to do this here in 2010 or probably in any of our lifetimes, but that could change when the technology is there to test for pretty much everything in a much easier manner.

[hdkbill]

Ideally, there would be a way for society to require the testing of various conditions every X number of months.

It would be impossible to do this here in 2010 or probably in any of our lifetimes, but that could change when the technology is there to test for pretty much everything in a much easier manner.

Jesus Christ, give me a break. You want to allow "society", which means BIG GOVERNMENT, the right to test for HIV and other "various conditions" at their whim??? We live in the USA because we are FREE. Have you ever heard of the Constitution?

You obviously don't remember....or weren't old enough to remember when the AIDS crisis first started. If someone looked like they AIDS, or the GAY CANCER, it was legal for their landlord to kick them out on the street. It was legal for restaurants and doctors to refuse to treatment them. It was alright for employers to fire them. JUST BECAUSE they thought a person had it.

For that reason groups like ACT-UP and others, fought like hell to provide for confidential testing and create laws to ban discrimination. To this day, it testing is still done confidentially in most states and NAMES are not reported to the health department, only numbers.

It's terrible that Lee's friend tested positive, but honestly, whether someone is 20 or 80 he is responsible for his own health. If Lee's friend agreed to have sex with someone without using a condom.....unless he was raped, someone needs to tell him he needs to accept responsibility for his OWN actions and quit blaming others. Thank God we have the meds today to control the HIV virus. And, frankly, it's a hell of a lot easier to stick to a regimen for HIV than it is for diabetes. I've been positive damn near 20 years. I take three pills at night and go to bed. Not a hard regimen to maintain.

Sorry to get so upset, but damnit, when are people going to start taking responsible for their own actions and quit trying to blame others? That's what's wrong with this country. If you don't believe that, just look at the jerks in Congress.