Why does my sexuality always gets questioned at Trade show?

[Derek]

It amazes me that people ask me if Im gay only at trade shows. It boggles me to no end the people that ask me. I ask what i do that makes me gay and hey say everything from my style to my clothes.

Now i know IM striaght and I do hug my male freinds but why do people insit on asking me that. It's mostly girls that ask me never guys?

What's up with that?

WHat's a good comback? and why do I feel slighly offended? and why do I have a need to prove them wrong?

[Lee]

Because you are cute and everyone knows if a guy is cute he must be gay

You know the best comeback i ever heard was one that Gary used a few months ago..

Doesnt matter if im gay or straight unless im going down on you

Regards,

Lee

[Jasun]

When I ran the Pride Tent for HMV from 1999-2002, I'd get guys asking me if i was gay all the time, and I had three answers I'd use...

"We're ALL gay today"
"No... so you better get me another beer"
"I wasn't until about 30 seconds ago"

(I'd save that one for the hot ones)

But ok.. you've got gay men leaving you alone and women indirectly asking if you're available (who assume that although you sure seem straight, you're probably too good looking). I'm having trouble finding the problem.. aside from it being a bit inappropriate..

[Lee]

Originally posted by Jasun
you're probably too good looking.

Jasun theres no 'probably' about it

Derek is H.O.T!

Regards,

Lee

[Kath]

Originally posted by Lee
Because you are cute and everyone knows if a guy is cute he must be gay

I heard this one too - and it's TRUE! I mean, just look at all the cuties on this board - need any more proof? The avatars on this board are much more pleasing to the eye than others I've seen around the industry lately.

[graphicsbytia]

Originally posted by Lee
Because you are cute and everyone knows if a guy is cute he must be gay

This is so true. Also, if a girl isn't getting any reciprocal flirting she wants to know why. Women ask when they want to know something.

I had a gay male friend that I knew for years and was always coming onto him, after about 3 yrs, he invited me to a party he was having with his mate, I was floored when I realised he was gay.. He and I were out on the porch talking and I said, you know Russ, I always wanted to go out with you, now I see why you never asked.. we both just laughed

[Jason]

there is no such thing as a straight man with visible abdominal muscles....

do you screen your calls?

...more importantly, do you know the above references???

[Jasun]

Jason, *I* don't even know those refrences..

[BDBionic]

First one's Margaret Cho.
Call screening one, I dunno. Unless it's her as well. *shrugs*

In Phoenix someone I've known for a long while asked me if I was straight.
So, don't feel bad. It happens to the best of us.

Truth be told I've been spreading a rumour that you and me got together at Internext last year. So there is a slight possibility that's at the root of the problem.

[DigitalJay]

They are both Margaret. I love that part of her standup act "Only gay screen phone call!"

I think Jasun is right about it being an indirect way of asking if you are available. It could be worse, nobody could care one way or the other right?

[Bec]

Given that it's at the shows, and you're being asked by women ... I'd say they find you attractive and want to clear up the availability issue.

Wouldn't let it bug you ... I still get called "sir" on occasion ... I just shrug it off and let 'em get a frontal view ...LOL

[MacDaddy]

Originally posted by 123Jason
there is no such thing as a straight man with visible abdominal muscles....

do you screen your calls?

...more importantly, do you know the above references???

I've never been asked at shows, but in bars and stuff I get the 'are you gay' all the time. I always think it's because i take care of myself. And I have visible abdominal muscles, but they're small. does that mean I'm mostly straight?

[Harlan]

Hey there, Derek.

Interesting question and there have been many great replies and explanations offered. I would like to add another: you work for a company with the name "Guys" in it, has no straight content to sell and if memory serves me, at one time at least, the Content Guys business cards featured a male torso that occupied almost 3/4 of the surface space. Since this happens at trade shows, I also assume the name "Content Guys" is directly under your name in the center of chest in black and white.

Now, we've explored in this thread Im Straight but work for a company that has Gay Content only.. even you questioned the perceptions of this, and you're clearly "straight but not narrow," but you're the exception to the rule on the whole. Therefore, the question is not all that surprising coming from mostly girls given the prevailing attitude of the average str8 guy even in our industry - take a look at that rampant and unabased homophobia on the GFY boards. In other words, of course the fact you sell gay content doesn't mean you are gay but likewise embrace there are not many str8 guys secure enough to walk around the trade show floor with a "scarlet letter" on their badge. Likewise, while taking care of yourself doesn't make you gay, have you ever taken a look at the average heterosexual male at our trade shows? Browse through some of JFK's/Fubar's pics from a str8 party and a gay party and see who takes better care of themselves in general.

I think Bec is spot on... "I'd say they find you attractive and want to clear up the availability issue." They just want to make sure your fishing pole doesn't come with a matching hand bag!

[AusCoding Allan]

Originally posted by 123Jason
there is no such thing as a straight man with visible abdominal muscles....
do you screen your calls?

OK so she has to be wrong!!!!

I have visible abs

and

I occasionally screen my calls!

Hmmm, maybe i was wrong dating girls all those years

Cheers,

Allan

[Brad Mitchell]

Boy can I relate...

...only difference is, people rarely ask me if I'm gay they just assume that I am! Then, when I make some comment about women it starts some great debate. Seems like I've been dealing with this since I was in high school, perhaps it's the way I talk or dress, I don't know.

When I was younger it used to bother me. Those teen years can be a bitch! I realized that the more visibly bothered I was, the more I got picked on because when you're young... that's what happens, everyone is insecure and tries their damnest to distract attention from themselves. I think it's obvious that this is human nature and many don't ever grow out of the behavior.

At some point I just embraced the way I am and realized all that matters is that I know who I am and the rest of the world be damned if they don't like me.

I can't help but have fun with it now. I see that the more persistent someone is, the more their words are just a reflection of poor character or intelligence. It doesn't even come close to bothering me anymore although people never cease to amaze me with the comments they make and conversations that follow.

When I was in San Diego in a suite hanging out with some people I knew and one or two I didn't this one girl insisted that I must be gay and wouldn't drop it... oh well, the rest of us got a good laugh watching her fumble over the whole thing.

Cheers,

Brad