Cheating Lovers F*cking Suck!

[DigitalJay]

I'm fucking ready for bed. I'm pissed. My bf left me alone tonight to go stay with his "friend" so he could get up early and look for a job *cough bullshit cough* This friend made it obvious he want's down my bf's pants. My bf tries to make it obvious to me that he isn't interested but so what i'm crazy jealous . He comes home with money, the dude gave him a CAR, i'm absolutely not allowed to ever go with him "because i complain too much for them to enjoy themselves." argh I hate being a jealous bitch but neon signs are hard to ignore . I love the part where he always asks if i have a logging program too and goes absolutely insane if i won't let him use the local gay.com chatroom. RELATIONSHIPS SUCK! I want to go to sleep but i'm all stressed and feeling nasty over the usual bullshit. Prozac anyone?

What sucks is the more jealous you get, the more they accuse you of just making shit up and being crazy, and turn it around on you. So you have to wonder if you are just crazy, or if the signs are all true, and then he says the signs wouldn't be there if you weren't crazy, and you say you wouldn't be crazy if the signs weren't there...


...and you set up all night trying not to think about it but not being able to sleep either!

:crybaby:

I made my own bed, but I wouldn't even have a bed to sleep in without him right now. Codependence is total shit isn't it? I need to get some glasses and get a fucking life! I'm ready to go jump in the river or sell my ass for cash just to get the fuck out of here. I burned every bridge on the way in so i'm going to have to swim my way out. Advice anyone? And don't say "Be strong, you'll make it or anything" I mean "do this, then this, then this" advice, I'm totally clueless on where to start. I can't get a job, I have no friends/family I could stay with, no money, no car. What are the options? (I'm not kidding myself, i realise there are none, but maybe one of you has an idea i'm not capable of, thats pretty damn possible!)

LOL can you tell i'm half out of it by now?

[graphicsbytia]

First.. get hold of yourself for god's sake

How old are you hon?

It seems to me that your boyfriend isn't the type of person that you need to be with.

I understand how jealously works, I had a big problem with it for years. It always comes from low self esteem.

People are going to do what they're going to do.. there's nothing you can do about it.. if your boyfriend wants to spend the night with someone else, then he's going to.. he has the choice to do what he wants.. but so do you.

If he makes you feel uncomfortable, or doesn't care about your feelings.. then what the hell are you doing with someone like that anyway?

Do something to feed your self worth tonight.. then gather yourself together and really think about what I'm saying. No partner is worth sacrificing yourself for.. you need to come first

[graphicsbytia]

Originally posted by DigitalJay


I can't get a job, I have no friends/family I could stay with, no money, no car. What are the options? (I'm not kidding myself, i realise there are none, but maybe one of you has an idea i'm not capable of, thats pretty damn possible!)

LOL can you tell i'm half out of it by now?

you CAN get a job, quit lying to yourself.. be truthful with yourself about why you can't get a job.. if it's because you're lazy then just admit it and move on.. you can turn things around in a matter of months if you really want to. Tomorrow go to the local human services office and see what they can do for you.. that's a start

[Pixxxel]

Hmm...advice...advice...*scans brain for relevant information*

My advice (without having a PHD in psychology), would be either one of two plans.

Plan #1:

So your boyfriend is making you jealous, and paranoid, so why not flip the tables on him. The next time he decides to go to his friends house, wait until about an hour or so before his normal time to come home, and leave the house. Even if you have no where to go. Go to the library. Go to the park. Go to Denny's and buy a cup of coffee and wherever you go, sit there for a few hours. Bring a book and read it front to back. When a substantial amount of time has passed, go back home, try to avoid saying anything, and if he tries to talk to you, or ask you where you've been, simply reply that you're tired, and you want to get some sleep (this is especially effective if it is early in the morning). When you wake up, no doubt he'll be more curious to know where you were for so long, so tell him that you went for a walk, and while you were walking, you met another guy walking and started chatting away, he invited you out for coffee, and you just lost track of time. If he asks what the guys name is, pick something foreign and hot (such as Enrique, Sebastian, Henrick, Dimitri, or Brian (mmm...)). Make up details if he asks any (was he hot, what did he look like) but try to play it down like "No, we were just talking about books because he saw me walking with "whatever book", and it turns out he runs a printing business...blah blah blah". Something juicy enough to make HIM jealous, although this instance it probably won't make him jealous. But if you do it a few times, he'll probably recriprocate the feelings of jealousy and paranoia that you are feeling now. But it's a little complicated for this plan to work out, but if done right, can either strengthen your relationship, or prove that it can't be salvaged.

or

Plan #2:

Move to California, I'll be your sugar daddy, we'll set up an amateur webpage for you, make millions, and bask by our pool behind our mansion every day and I'll even buy you new glasses

I think Plan #2 is a win-win situation for all parties involved, and should be the one you choose.

And, if you ever need to talk to someone, you can send me a PM for ICQ, MSN, e-mail address, and I'll give you better advice than what I posted above :p

But, best of luck Jay, and if you need help with anything, let me know.

Michael

[BDBionic]

Firstly... pixxxel... "Brian" is an exotic name?!

Secondly, J...

On the list of people from whom you'd want to solicit relationship advice, I'm near the bottom. Smack dab between that Republican Senate candidate from Illinois who dropped outta the race because his freaky kink fetish excursions with his ex wife got exposed and Catherine the Great.

On the job front thingamajigger - and let me preface this by wise words from my father to the effect of "Don't ask for advice unless you're ready and willing to hear something you don't wanna hear" - though... when all else fails, go retail.
There's gotta be something around. Anything. Sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and take whatever job is available. And I don't mean sellin' your ass on the street or kidnapping babies for scientific experiments. I mean none of us are above making frappachinos or folding clothes when we have to.

I learned that myself when I made the decision to leave the government/security industry and try my luck at the Internet... only to find myself going from folding dotcom to dotcom during the bubble burst, college educated, a flashy and fancy resume and having worked jobs overseeing subordinates and had multimillion dollar government contracts and corporate decisions made based on my opinions... to working at The Gap. Because it was a guaranteed job when I needed something to keep myself from atrophying, getting caught up in lazyness, feeling unproductive, getting anxious and to help pay the bills as my savings dwindled.

Despite the fact that I had a bazillion great ideas in my head at the time and an endless list of things that would make me rich in my pocket, none of those were paying the bills. The Gap did. Though only for a week because I got hired somewhere else I'd applied to awhile back right after I started working at The Gap. But it was the willingness to take that step down in the first place.

This industry has no shortage of people who financed their own businesses and great ideas by working some shitty ass jobs in the meantime. And getting up, getting dressed and going out to a job everyday is an invaluable motivator. It might not flood your bank account with loads of dough, but it'd be a commitment that'll help get you up and on your feet. And a lot of your other anxieties and frustrations - with b/f, with home, with glasses, with self - will start to sort themselves out or fall in to perspective at least when you're able to produce a paycheck every 2 weeks.

My 2cents.

[Lee]

Originally posted by BDBionic
when all else fails, go retail.

Yep worked for me a few years ago when i sold my business.

Didnt know what i wanted to do so i hooked up part time in an electronics retail store, within 6 months they had sent me on about 15 different training courses ranging from sales and marketing through to repairs and accounting.

Ended up being store manager for 3 months until i left for the adult web

Even if you dont like the work in retail chances are that if you hook up with the right company youll get given a shitload of free training :groovy:

Regards,

Lee

[Pixxxel]

Originally posted by BDBionic
Firstly... pixxxel... "Brian" is an exotic name?!

Secondly, J...

On the list of people from whom you'd want to solicit relationship advice, I'm near the bottom. Smack dab between that Republican Senate candidate from Illinois who dropped outta the race because his freaky kink fetish excursions with his ex wife got exposed and Catherine the Great.

On the job front thingamajigger - and let me preface this by wise words from my father to the effect of "Don't ask for advice unless you're ready and willing to hear something you don't wanna hear" - though... when all else fails, go retail.
There's gotta be something around. Anything. Sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and take whatever job is available. And I don't mean sellin' your ass on the street or kidnapping babies for scientific experiments. I mean none of us are above making frappachinos or folding clothes when we have to.

I learned that myself when I made the decision to leave the government/security industry and try my luck at the Internet... only to find myself going from folding dotcom to dotcom during the bubble burst, college educated, a flashy and fancy resume and having worked jobs overseeing subordinates and had multimillion dollar government contracts and corporate decisions made based on my opinions... to working at The Gap. Because it was a guaranteed job when I needed something to keep myself from atrophying, getting caught up in lazyness, feeling unproductive, getting anxious and to help pay the bills as my savings dwindled.

Despite the fact that I had a bazillion great ideas in my head at the time and an endless list of things that would make me rich in my pocket, none of those were paying the bills. The Gap did. Though only for a week because I got hired somewhere else I'd applied to awhile back right after I started working at The Gap. But it was the willingness to take that step down in the first place.

This industry has no shortage of people who financed their own businesses and great ideas by working some shitty ass jobs in the meantime. And getting up, getting dressed and going out to a job everyday is an invaluable motivator. It might not flood your bank account with loads of dough, but it'd be a commitment that'll help get you up and on your feet. And a lot of your other anxieties and frustrations - with b/f, with home, with glasses, with self - will start to sort themselves out or fall in to perspective at least when you're able to produce a paycheck every 2 weeks.

My 2cents.

"Brian" as a name, was more for the "hot" definition than "exotic".

And about work, since I really didn't touch on it in my advice, I would have to agree with what you said to Jay. There is ALWAYS work available. I work fast food, which isn't as glamorous as the Gap, but it pays my bills, and I hate to admit it, but I've had this job for almost 4 years, since I was 16. And I take pride in the fact that I know people who have had a new job every month, and I have worked the same job (albeit with promotions) for 4 years, working hard and never losing face. And it irritates me when people say, "I would never work fast food, I would never do someone elses laundry, etc. etc." Because some people don't have the option to not have to work fast food, or not have to do someone elses work. It's like someone saying, "I could never live on the streets and eat out of a dumpster." If I was in that situation, I sure as hell would be diving in there for something to eat, because sometimes you have NO choice. At my job, I have to clean up after other people, I have to take out the garbage, I have to clean up the bathrooms when people overflow the toilet, it's not glamorous like I said, but it's a job, and I get paid for it. And right now, it's putting me through college, and letting me experiment with adult webmastering without having to worry where I'm going to live, or how I'm going to eat.

And I know I've gone off on a tangent here, but the point I was going to say before I stepped onto my soap box was, fast food places (such as the place I work) are always looking for employees and ALWAYS hiring. Fast food has the WORST turnover of any industry (meaning, we hire/lose more employees regularly than any other business you're going to find). This is attributed to a lot of things, but mostly because it's highschool students to apply, wanting a job, but realize they don't want to work, or people who start working, and think they are too good to flip a burger. But these jobs are not really that bad, except the pay is minimum wage, but if you're serious about improving your situation, it's a start. I would suggest going into fast food places, applying, and if possible ask to speak to the manager (not a shift leader, crew leader, or whatever the hell the titles are for the glorified crew members are), the manager. And just because they're not hiring today, doesn't mean they won't be hiring tomorrow, take it from a guy who has had to train over 20 people in the last few months, there will be a job opening soon.

I hope I didn't ramble on too much, the tiredness is started to get to me. Need to go wake up.

Michael

[Dawgy]

holy drama documentary batman

cliffs notes anyone?

[DigitalJay]

drama documentary LOL yeah i'm a big drama queen I know, and like I said I made my own bed so I swear these aren't boohoo pooooor me posts. Just venting.

As far as a job goes, being half blind makes me pretty dangerous at a job, not to mention I live in the country and my car is DEAD. Even if it wasn't i'd die trying to drive myself to town. Too far to walk/bike too.

So I can't go anywhere unless HE wants to take me. Thats not going to happen every day at a certain time. Carpool or finding someone to drive me wouldn't work well either, I live pretty far out right now.

Trust me I have NO aversion to retail, or even fast food. I've been a cook, a dishwasher, a paperboy, etc. I agree with you all that you have to start somewhere and work your way up, I'm definately not sitting here wishing myself into a fortune without being willing to build it for myself. If that is the impression i've given you all i'm mortified!

I really did burn all my bridges though, I can't go stay with any family, can't borrow money to fix my car or for anything else, etc. If I find a way out, it has to be from this house . Which dosn't give me a lot of hope.

[Corey Bryant]

Try going out with them & try having a good time. Jealousy is something that we all deal with from time to time.

It sounds like you are not happy there & it might be because you are dependent on him? I know exactly what you are going through. Be yourself - make yourself useful around the house. Find something you are good at. When he comes home - give him a hug & kiss. Tell him you missed him.

Does he make you feel loved? Cared for? Do you still make love to him?

Now of course - if you do not want to have a relationship with him anymore - don't do the above ...

Figure out what you might want & then go from there.

Definitely find someone to talk to about your feelings / emotions. If he did at least care some, he would listen (not just hear you) and see what he could do to make it better.

[Scorpio]

DigitalJay, i won't go there as you already know what i think of your boyfriend. Good luck