Hello,

I have a question for all of my learned colleagues, but first some background information is required…

I made a decision 10 years ago to forgo sexual relations with other men. Being that I am a 10th level practitioner of the dark art of self-pleasure (at least twice daily - practice makes perfect) and often use images of pornography or fantasies consisting of the most virile of men engaging in some of the most naughty of sexcapades, I offer the following question:

If I do not engage in any sexual activity with another man, am I still gay?

I ask this because I was recently told I wasn’t gay do to the lack of sexual contact. I of course scoff at such a horrifying notion. To further my cause and offer a bit of irrefutable proof, I presented the obviously sexually stunted individual my “Gay Club” card.

I also explained that one is born gay and that this delightful gift was bestowed upon a fortunate few by the Goddess herself and it wasn’t to be squandered or abuse - the gift not ourselves.

And let me ask this following the line of reasoning my somewhat dimwitted friend used…if a straight man forgoes sexual contact with a woman, does that mean he not heterosexual?

You opinions are greatly appreciated.

Thanks - Jay