1- Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2- Your orgasms are real. Always.
3- Your last name stays put.
4- The garage is all yours.
5- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6- You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8- You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
9- Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10-Same work, more pay.
11-Wrinkles add character.
12-You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13- Wedding dress $2,000.00; Tux rental $34.00
14-If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
15-People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17-One mood, all the damn time.
18-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.
19- A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.
20-You can open all your own jars.
21-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22-Your underwear is $6.00 for a three-pack.
23-If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24-You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
25-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26-You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "he must be mad at me."
27-No maxi-pads.'
28-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
29-You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
30-You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
31-You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.
32-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
33-Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34-One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
35-You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
36-Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in minutes.
37-The world is your urinal.
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