JOB APPLICATION NAME: John Kerry

[dirtygeek]

JOB APPLICATION

NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).

EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).

MILITARY:
I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book " Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).

COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four months).

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I served in Vietnam (four months).

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months).

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months).

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four months).

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

[dirtygeek]

RESUME

George W. Bush
The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and and my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available

MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for US Congress and lost. I began my career
in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975. I Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took Land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil Industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the US surplus and effectively bankrupted the US Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in US history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the US stock market.

I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year period.

After taking-off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in US history.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a US president.

In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in US history.

I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any President since the advent of television.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I've broken more international treaties than any president in US history.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I am the first president in US history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of US citizens, and the world community.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the US from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war (detainees) And thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

I am the all-time US and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in US history.

My political party used the Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the US Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the US after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the US the most hated country in the world,the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I changed the US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed, and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Please consider my experience when voting in 2004.

[Jasun]

how is it possible this corrupt skum bag actaully has the support of more than 3% of the electorate?

I'm baffled.

[Xstr8guy]

John Kerry does not have any ownership of Heinz and the Heinz Family Trust (of which Teresa Heinz Kerry is an inheritor) owns less than 4% of the Heinz Company. Neither of the two have any control of Heinz.

Another myth dispelled...
http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/heinz.asp

[Xstr8guy]

andymike, there are so many lies in the Kerry resume, I suggest that you take it off the board. I honestly could care less what you post about Bush... but at least check the facts when you post about Kerry.


Another myth busted!

The aggregate value of these five homes is roughly $29 million, but the claim that John Kerry "owns" all of these properties is problematic. John and Teresa Kerry signed a prenuptial agreement and have kept their premarital assets separate. The Boston townhouse (which John Kerry mortgaged in 2003 to finance his presidential bid) is the only one of these homes that they own as a couple; the other four belonged to Teresa before her 1995 marriage to John Kerry, and some of them are even still listed under the name of her late husband.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/homes.asp

[Jasun]

the one that gets me is that he harps on about being a veteran. He should. He not only volunteered to go, he volunteered to go A SECOND TIME.

Dick Cheney, aside from being the most corrupt businessman to ever hold public office, got 14 DEFERMENTS!!! OK? 14!

John Kerry has won the right to brag about his service, even though it's a Republican lie that he does.

Sorry.

I hate Republicans. I really do.

[Xstr8guy]

This is just too easy...
http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/weapons.asp

His military voting record is not so easily dismissed...
http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/weapons.asp


And don't getting me started on his military service! The guy has 3 combat injuries for god's sake!

Back in 1969, Navy regulations specified that any soldier wounded in combat three times be automatically reassigned away from a combat zone to an assignment of his choosing (unless the thrice-wounded soldier specifically requested to stay).

http://www.snopes.com/politics/kerry/service.asp

[Chris Alan]

Originally posted by andymike
so, i got some messages about this post, so I removed it. :angel:

Hell just thought it was funny....

Andy I'm disappointed to see that you allowed your peers to influence your decision to censor the orignal post. I've been tolerating BUSH BASHING for months here on GWW, and frankly it makes me sick.

This just proves to me how closed minded, left winged people here are. I've not seen one orignal thought posted here regarding your candidate from any of you. Nothing but media retoric.

[Lee]

Andy..

Put it back i never got a chance to read it

Regards,

Lee

[dirtygeek]

there it's back. scroll up :specs:

[Jasun]

Originally posted by Chris Alan
Nothing but media retoric.

Pointing out the blatant lies by this administration isn't retoric.. it's just facts.

That John Kerry Resume is FILLED with Republican Party spin and press releases. The Bush one lists an awful lot of facts.

The fact the this administration is made up of the two most corrupt policiticians in history who openly joke about how they only hve the interests of the very rich and the Saudi royal family in mind makes me sick.

the vice president is possibly one of th most corrupt businessmen in the world.

And you can hardly blame a bunch of gay people for hating George W Bush. This is the man who loudly complained that it was "activist judges" who had said is in unconstitutional that we can't be thrown in jail for having sex in our own houses. I'm not going to give someone who wants me chucked in jail for having sex with my boyfriend a pass. Not gonna happen.

this is the man who couldn't find the time to act on any 911 Commission reccomendations, but had a special debate this summer about writing it into the constitution that we're just not as good as straight people.

this is the guy who says he "Just doesn't know" if we chose to be gay or not.

We're not Bashing Bush.. We're Bashing him Back.

[Chris Alan]

There you go again.

[dirtygeek]

my lord, I will never post a joke again. Well atleast nothing about anything other then fairies.

:specs:

now join my program and let's make some $ while we debate all this. :angel:

[Xstr8guy]

You know Chris, I had a long and detailed post ready to submit... but I deleted it. I'm not going to waste my time trying to explain my political beliefs to you when all you have to add is something like this quote...

Originally posted by Chris Alan
There you go again.

If you can't understand why gay people are overwhelmingly liberal*, considering your brother is gay and you work in the Adult Industry... forget it.

Btw, straight adult webmasters overwhelming, support Kerry... take a look around GFY. Hell, even Log Cabin Republicans aren't endorsing Bush http://www.logcabin.org/logcabin/press_090804.html





* yes, I said it, I'm liberal and proud!