Ok I really need to know are my friends homophobic?

[IntenseCash.com]

This has really been bugging me. I have alot of straight friends, I have one friend that can look at any gay porn and he is totally fine with it. He can watch videos, view pictures anything and he even posts to gay tgp's all the time and makes galleries with and nothing bothers him. He is definetly straight but seems very comfortable with himself. I have a couple other friends that freak out when they see anything of gay porn but these friends are totally fine with me being gay. It just seems like these friends are a little homophobic because they freak out when they see anything with 2 guys. What do you think? Thanks for your input as always.

Mark

[longboardjim]

..."You Can Lead A Horse To Water , But You Can't Make It Drink" , Sounds Like Your Friends Are "Alittle" ( Measured In So Many Degrees! "Un-Comfortable" Around "Gay-Paraphanalia" This Could Also Be Said Of You , Some "Heterosexual-Paraphanalia" Could Make You "Un-Comfortable" , Your "Friends"? , May Be Fine With You , Just Not "The Lifestyle"...It's When Your Brothers Wife Starts Hiding Your Nephews Everytime You Come Over For A Visit That You Have A Problem!...I'm Just Guessing!

Sincerely ~ Bitter Uncle!

[Squirt]

Originally posted by IntenseCash.com
This has really been bugging me. I have alot of straight friends, I have one friend that can look at any gay porn and he is totally fine with it. He can watch videos, view pictures anything and he even posts to gay tgp's all the time and makes galleries with and nothing bothers him. He is definetly straight but seems very comfortable with himself. I have a couple other friends that freak out when they see anything of gay porn but these friends are totally fine with me being gay. It just seems like these friends are a little homophobic because they freak out when they see anything with 2 guys. What do you think? Thanks for your input as always.

Mark

Poor Mark, this really sucks! I'm sorry to hear you're having to deal with this. I don't know your friends but freaking out seeing stuff with 2 guys seems odd. Maybe they are just curious and pretending to be freaked out, when what they really want is you to put the moves on them so they can say "The Gay guy made me do it" as an excuse for having their first Gay sexual experience with you :-D

Maybe they aren't homophobic but just don't like watching Gay sex? Are these superficial friends or ones you share everything with, and they share with you in return?

[desslock]

Originally posted by IntenseCash.com
I have alot of straight friends, I have a couple other friends that freak out when they see anything of gay porn but these friends are totally fine with me being gay.

Mark -- just because they are uncomfortable with watching gay sexual activity on screen does not make them homophobic.

If I showed an all orgy gay sexflick from Raging Stallion Studios to my mother, I would expect her to be uncomfortable, but she's anything but homophobic.

Hey if your friends are accepting and understandable, then take it. If you are comfortable with yourself people will respect you and learn something. It is a learning process for all of us.

Steve

[Squirt]

Originally posted by desslock
Mark -- just because they are uncomfortable with watching gay sexual activity on screen does not make them homophobic.

If I showed an all orgy gay sexflick from Raging Stallion Studios to my mother, I would expect her to be uncomfortable, but she's anything but homophobic.

Hey if your friends are accepting and understandable, then take it. If you are comfortable with yourself people will respect you and learn something. It is a learning process for all of us.

Steve

The more this man talks, the sexier he gets :high:

[desslock]

oh thank you, squirty ! :groovy:

[Jason]

agreed steve. truly mark, i wouldn't use levels of comfortability with gay porn as much of a measure of friendship. shit, i know gay people that don't like looking at gay porn. and how many gay men do you know that come off as misogynistic when they bitch about how disgusting st8 porn is to them? just because they may not like looking at women naked and/or in sexual scenarios, does not mean they don't like women. i think the same can be true of your friends.

sometimes, i think it's easy for those of us who work with porn every day to become so de-sensitized that, for us, it's mundane. people who are not enveloped in porn are often reactive to it.

[Squirt]

Originally posted by desslock
oh thank you, squirty ! :groovy:

Aw look at that smile!! :high:

[chadknowslaw]

Hey Mark!

For the good lawyers answer, I am going to try muddy the waters~

I think it is a matter of degree. If someone "freaks out" seeing gay porn, well, then that tells me they have some phobia lurking. It is one thing to be uncomfortable seeing something, but "freaking out" is usually a stronger, fear-based reaction.

My opinion is that emotions come from 4 base emotions, like colors come from 3 basic colors. The 4 base emotions I identified are :mad glad, sad, and scared. You can get every emotion by blending those 4. "Uncomfortable" is usually a low-grade fear. I am uncomfortable seeing straight porn because there might be some grody-looking pussy and that thought scares me a little. I am not scared much, but I would avoid it if I could. If the thought of seeing pussy scares me so much I leave the room when I see a straight porn movie, then I have a lot of fear. It takes more fear to make me take that action [leaving the room].

If you have friends that react noticeably to seeing gay porn, then there is some emotion that is driving them to that reaction. It could just be that they are afraid that if they DON'T freak out you will think they are gay! Another alternative is that they really are afraid of all things gay; either way they could use some reassurance. Ask them how they think YOU should react seeing straight porn--If you acted the same way, would they think you are a little overboard?? More than likely, they just don't know that they are going too far in proving that they aren't gay. First, there is no need to PROVE their masculinity to you and second, what the hell is wrong with being gay???

I would call them on it the next time you see that kind of behaviour!Ask why the fear of a movie, and what is so bad about being gay? You very well could get the response "I am OK with you, it is those other fags that freak me out". That means you have some educating to do!! Straight guys tend to over-estimate their attractiveness to gay men--they think they will get hit on by a gay man and that would somehow damage their masculinity. You can remind them [it will take time] that they ain't that attractive and that there are so many willing gay men out there why bother striking out with a straight one??

Straight guy Psychology is such an elusive study~



:wacko:

[basschick]

i don't care for closeups of anal - gay or straight - and years ago, would probably reacted strongly and visibly.

plenty of gay men i know who truly like women are strongly repulsed if they have look at a pic of a gaping vagina. in fact, i feel the same - and i've been there and enjoyed ;-)

for some, porn is a matter of very intimate personal taste. you can be totally comfortable with any group of people, and not want to experience second-hand intimacy with that group. i don't think it expresses any kind of hate or prejudice.

now, if you MENTION gay porn and your friends yell "ew - fags!" you might consider trading them in on new friends...

[Direct Holly]

Wow I really like your answer Steve....And I totally agree, although I am gay I enjoy watching Straight porn with Hot chicks but I dislike the gagging and cum on the face shots and I am certainly not straight a phobic...it is just about what I can and can not watch...

[IntenseCash.com]

Great answers and help here. For me I can look at straight porn and I am fine with it. It is the fact that I am close to my friends, they know I gay but if they see anything gay on my screen they are like oh my god that is gross or something just strikes me as very odd. One friend I had a talk with and he said he can see two guys sucking each other off and that is fine but it is the other stuff the bugs him. He is very open with me and tells me everything but it is just still the response that bugs me. Why can't they just not say anything at all? I will try some of your suggestions and see what happens. Thanks everyone.

Thanks,
Mark

[DigitalJay]

Reading all these replies reminds me why I've been reading this forum for so long. You all have great opinions and views on people and why they are how they are, it's very refreshing.

Like others have said, it's a matter of personal comfort with explicit intimite subject matter. I also have gay male friends who squirm in their seats at the idea of watching lesbian porn, but have plenty of lesbian friends they love to death, etc. Like Basschick said, if it was homophobia their negative reactions would probably be hateful and rude.

[robin]

This thread reminds me of a "friend" that my partner and I have...

He always feels compelled to give us the explicit and intimate details of his sexual conquests of the current girl of the weekend...

One day after hearing all this BS, my hubby decided that he too had a good sex story to tell -- "Friend" recoiled in disgust and said "eww that's disgusting, I don't want to hear about gay sex"...

Hubby says, "and what makes you think that we want to hear your str8 sex stories?"

"Well, that's different -- that's normal", says our "friend"...

So, like Mark's friends this guy is apparently OK with gay men and talking about sex and kissing; just as long as the gay men don't actually have physical contact or talk about sex and kissing in the same manner that str8 men do...

As far as I'm concerned, that's homophobia.

However, like Steve, I can't see my mom and I watching a porn flic together. A gay romance though -- she'd be fine with that.

[basschick]

robin - your example is very different to me. yours is someone putting his life in someone else's face, which is already sort of rude unless you have that relationship. then when the same is done to him, he's a jerk.

mark's friends aren't talking about his personal sex life, but about online porn. we haven't established that his friends make him look at straight porn, and we haven't established that they say "ew! gay sex!"