Top Ten Things Heterosexuals Need to Know About Gay People

[dirtygeek]

10. We didn't invent disco music so stop blaming us.

9. We're not sure about Ricky Martin either.

8. We also didn't invent the color black, but we are in complete agreement that you look better in it.

7. We are secretly glad Anne Heche is back on your team. She scares us.

6. Our so-called "gaydar" does not get us more cable stations or better reception.

5. we think your mini-vans are sooo cute!

4. David Crosby was not Melissa Etheridge's only choice.

3. If he's using two or more hair products at any one time -- yes, he is.

2. If she's won Wimbledon sixteen times, she is too.

And, the number one thing that heterosexuals need to know about gay people is...

1. Relax, we don't want you!

[TheLegacy]

you forgot about the secret handshake that ends with a wetnap and a cigarette

[longboardjim]

, Cute AndyMike , Here's "10" More For Your List

10. We Take More Vacations.

9. We Account For 3/4 Of The Worlds Pet Owners And Shoppers.

8. We Get Paid Less ,But Have Less Bills To Pay.

7. No Messy Divorces Or Custody Battles.

6. Straights Give Us Something To "Critique" So Please Don't Change.

5. We Have 2 Political Parties "Abercrombie & Fitch" & "Dockers"

4. We Get Laid More , Which Would Account For More Straight Porn
Sites Than Gay.

3. The "Winter-Olympics" Are Our "Super-Bowl" The "Oscars" Are Our
"Miss-America" And "Will & Grace" Is "Bowling" Thursday Night.

2. No Matter What You Wear , We Will Always Look Better In It.

1. At Some Point In Your Life You Will Come Into Contact With
Someone "Gay"...And Like Them!

[Lee]

Here are 10 things gay guys need to know about straight guys (courtesy of Rolo over on Oprano)...

Top 10 Things Gay Guys Need To Know About...

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10. We do not blame you for inventing disco music, but for playing it.

9. Ricky who? If it is in the music business, and it doesn´t have boobs, then we do not know it´s last name.

8. Yes, we look good in black.

7. We like the idea about bisexual women like Anne Heche - our 3some fantasies would be boring without some hot girl/girl action.

6. A good way to avoid the military or public office (ex. as governor) is to act really gay, so someones "gaydar" will go off and disqualify you - never fails.

5. We think the word "cute" should only be used to describe children, small animals or women. Our cars comes with great names like "Odyssey" or "Ford Harley-Davidson F-350 Super Duty"!

4. Men are easy, so ofcourse Melissa Etheridge could find another sucker, if she wanted too.

3. Men using two or more hair products have so far been labeled "Metrosexuals" - we have not decided if we should treat them as outcast yet.

2. If she's won Wimbledon sixteen times, then she is not hot anymore... we like 18-21 year old girls in miniskirts with funny accents.

And, the number one thing that gay guys need to know about straight guys is...

1. Relax, we are actually happy that you are gay, since it gives us the impression that it leaves more straight and bisexual women to us.

Regards,

Lee

[Jasun]

10. Will and Grace (nobody acts like that and you'd hate them if they did.)

9. The Oscars (anything that applauds Nicole Kidman for doing anything other than shutting the fuck up has got to go.)

8. Nicole Kidman (Don't get me started.)

7. Disco (Straight people gave up on Hair Bands... return the favour.)

6. Abercombie & Fitch (great catalogue.. you still look like you shop at Sear's)

5. The Word "Diva" (a Diva is an Opera singer. Not Christina Aguilera.)

4. The Jeep TJ (It doesn't make you look masculine... Just like you're TRYING to look masculine.)

3. Rev (leave that for college girls who don't like the taste of alcohol but like to get drunk.)

2. Treating DJs like Rock Stars. (They play records. So do 5 year olds.)

1. Madonna (please... no really.. please)

[longboardjim]

, Funny , Lee & Jasun , I Was Hoping Someone Would Post Something To "Counter" ( I "Side" With The "Straights" All The Time! , It's A Question Of Numbers Baby! It's Good We Can See The "Humor" In All This , Not Sure This Would Be "Popular" Topic On A "Straight" Webmaster Board ( They Just Don't Get , They Don't Get Alot Of Things...That's Just Too Bad For Them!

Sincerely ~ "Gay Interpreter For Straights"

[Scorpio]

Originally posted by Lee
Here are 10 things gay guys need to know about straight guys (courtesy of Rolo over on Oprano)...

Top 10 Things Gay Guys Need To Know About...

----

10. We do not blame you for inventing disco music, but for playing it.

9. Ricky who? If it is in the music business, and it doesn´t have boobs, then we do not know it´s last name.

8. Yes, we look good in black.

7. We like the idea about bisexual women like Anne Heche - our 3some fantasies would be boring without some hot girl/girl action.

6. A good way to avoid the military or public office (ex. as governor) is to act really gay, so someones "gaydar" will go off and disqualify you - never fails.

5. We think the word "cute" should only be used to describe children, small animals or women. Our cars comes with great names like "Odyssey" or "Ford Harley-Davidson F-350 Super Duty"!

4. Men are easy, so ofcourse Melissa Etheridge could find another sucker, if she wanted too.

3. Men using two or more hair products have so far been labeled "Metrosexuals" - we have not decided if we should treat them as outcast yet.

2. If she's won Wimbledon sixteen times, then she is not hot anymore... we like 18-21 year old girls in miniskirts with funny accents.

And, the number one thing that gay guys need to know about straight guys is...

1. Relax, we are actually happy that you are gay, since it gives us the impression that it leaves more straight and bisexual women to us.

Regards,

Lee

mmm alrighty LOL

[rubikkx]

you also forgot to mention Brian Adams :presley: