The first wives club

Darren Austin · 12-15-2004, 09:07 AM

As I have come out and said on this board and on my tv show,I ended an 8 year relationship about 5 months ago.
It started out pretty friendly until it came time to sell the house then it went beyond hideous.
Some of the highlights were backstabbing, betryal,breaking things, threats, cops etc.

So the question here is,

How do you break up and stay grown up about it?

Chipmunk · 12-15-2004, 10:25 AM

Hey Darren...
My advice is:

Hire a thug, tell him to tell your X if he does not cooperate that he will force him to have sex with a woman, video tape it and use it for blackmail purposes,,.

Ok now back to reality...
Just meet in a public place and talk about it. that way there is less chance of him walking away and throwing a hissy fit. Granted he could freak out in the restaurant or where ever you are, but its better than doing it at home...

My 2 cents

-=Chipmunk=--
:evil:

**djdez** · 12-15-2004, 10:27 AM

Hey babe.

I don't know the answer to your questions unfortunately. My girlfriends actually didn't take a high road when they went through their divorce. Though what they did makes for very interesting conversation till this day.

Just know that I and lot of people do love you. So, I would say focus on the love that you have rather then the hate.

Stay well.

TheLegacy · 12-15-2004, 10:28 AM

how to break up and stay grown up truly depends on the reasons why you broke up in the first place. If you truly feel that for yourself that you were being held back - and needed to mature beyond what this person offers - then you made your first steps.

If someone broke up with you - recognize the joy that you saved yourself many years of hardship or bullshit if they decided further down the road that it wasnt meant to be. Thank them for it !! You dont want to be with anyone who have a wandering eye and will cheat on you.

If after the break up there is childish shit happening between the two - then there is some obvious feelings that need to be addressed. Is it possible to have a positive break up? of course, as long as both parties talk it out and realize that they can be better off and use it as a learning experience.

Finding the right person is an uphill battle going through all the wrong ones, but we must be thankful for them - because with each new relationship, you come closer to the "one" that is for you.

Darren Austin · 12-15-2004, 10:34 AM

Originally posted by djdez
Hey babe.

I don't know the answer to your questions unfortunately. My girlfriends actually didn't take a high road when they went through their divorce. Though what they did makes for very interesting conversation till this day.

Just know that I and lot of people do love you. So, I would say focus on the love that you have rather then the hate.

Stay well.

Thank you for posting and sharing that, I would like to know the story of your girlfriends and what happened, so DO SHARE!

**EricAaron** · 12-15-2004, 10:40 AM

Sometimes that is just not possible if the other person is not willing to let it go. If that happens you have to be the bigger person, cut your loses , and get as far away from that person as possible. Hope it all works out for you

Darren Austin · 12-15-2004, 11:44 AM

that was a good point Eric, thank you for that!!!
U rock

Anthony · 12-15-2004, 12:21 PM

DBear,

First, I'm really sorry to hear that.

Second, remember there is a fine line between love and hate. The emotions are so close to each other that conflict brings out the worse in all of us.

Just remember the good times, they may be overshadowed by the not so good, but they are there. 8 years is a long time, be good to yourself.

Love ya!

Felix · 12-15-2004, 12:47 PM

Breaking up realy sucks. I have been the one to break up with the guys that I have dated. It usualy was on the phone cause when I decide that its not going to work out I end up trying not to hang with them or there just big cry babies and I would be imbarased to have a scean like that in public. But when it gets down to it I tell it like it is. I let them know that I dont see a future in us. Because thats what it boils down to, to me. I try to be nice about it but they want to change and fix this and that. I dont want someone I can mold into what I see fit. I want them to just be. It doesnt take me too long to figure it out, which is why I havent had a long term relationship. Some of the time there wasnt anything that wrong with them. They just werent for me. I dont think alot of people quite understand the way I think which is a big reason I stopped dating alot of those guys. They didnt get me. They just Humored me. But once I layed down my feelings they could either sit there and digest and move on. Or they could sit there and cry (happend alot of the time) And then I would get angry and make it worse till I left or they did. So Im probably not the one on how do break up in an adult manner but this works for me. :wacko: :wacko: :wacko: :wacko:

rubikkx · 12-15-2004, 02:16 PM

the better way to forget is to find a new nice hansome guy....and enjoy...i do not believe in sadness...

Darren Austin · 12-15-2004, 04:00 PM

Originally posted by rubikkx
the better way to forget is to find a new nice hansome guy....and enjoy...i do not believe in sadness...

I like the way you think!
In fact I have foudn an amazing guy whom I love , he is simply the best. In fact , I think he is the one , the REAL one.

Anthony · 12-15-2004, 04:57 PM

Originally posted by Darren Austin
I like the way you think!
In fact I have foudn an amazing guy whom I love , he is simply the best. In fact , I think he is the one , the REAL one.

Yah, I've said that quite a few times myself! LOL

2 divorces later. :wacko:

Just be happy hun! :santa:

Jasun · 12-16-2004, 11:54 AM

Well...

I once broke up with a guy who made the mistake of telling me that I was fat and ugly.

I broke into his apartment and cut the crotches out of all of his pants, spit in every jar in his fridge and pissed in all his hair care products.

So Just do the opposite of everything I've done, and you'll be fine.