Gay Jokes?

[Lee]

Does anyone know any good gay jokes they want to share with everyone?

All are welcome, the good, the bad, and the tasteless

Regards,

Lee

[DigitalJay]

Why did Tigger get kicked out of the toybox?

Because he sat on Pinochio's nose and yelled "Lie to me baby, lie to me!"

[Wowmediacash]

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart
covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.
The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart
forever.

One of the mourners burst into laughter. When everybody stared at
him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral...I'm a
gynaecologist."

At that point, the proctologist fainted

[Chris Alan]

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck," he says, "I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?"

The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."

The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called 'Nike,' for the slogan, 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his 'Snickers,' because 'It really Satisfies."

The customer looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. The customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?"

The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX."

The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?"

The fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!"

A little shaken, the customer turns to the fella on his right, who is sipping a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you call your penis?"

The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because 'Quality is Job 1.' " Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately?"

Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is 'Secret.' Now give me my beer."

The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why secret?"

The customer says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!"

[Bec]

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

[neilxod]

How can you tell that you're at a gay bar-b-q?

Ready?

The hot dogs taste like s##t!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs,
N.

[Scorpio]

How can you tell that you're at a gay bar-b-q?

Ready?

The hot dogs taste like s##t!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs,
N.

LMAO gross!!! LOL

[Happysucks]

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty nine year olds?



There's twenty of them.

[Top Cat]

Two older, suburban, homosexual gentlemen had been living together for a couple of years, and were getting quite bored with their lives. They were looking at little knickknacks at a garage sale in the Castro, when one of them (Scott) stumbled upon what appeared to be a rare find.

"Look Jim, I just found the most fabulous...pot, or, I dont know what it is! It is It''s pretty filthy, but I bet it would look great in our living room!"

Jim agreed, and they purchased the object. Apparently, the holder of the sale had no idea just how valuable a thing he had on his hands, because he sold it for $10.

Later that night, Scott decides he wants to dust off this old thing. To his surprise, what he thought was an old piece of pottery was in fact made of what appeared to be gold!

"Honey, come here!" he yelled.

Jim came running, and Scott continued to polish, until POOF!- A huge creature appears in their living room! Both men scream.

"Do not be frightened!" The creature says. "I am the genie of the lamp, and you have freed me from 1000 years imprisonment by an evil sorceress. I will grant the two of you a total of three wishes as thanks!"

The two take some time to gather themselves. They stare blankly at the genie, at each other, and at the lamp for a few minutes. Finally, Jim says, "Do we have to give all three now?" "Very well," the genie replies. "You have three days in which to ask for your wishes." With that, the genie vanished.

The next day, the couple decided that they would each get one wish, and would pick the one together. They decided to first to ask for wealth. When they woke up the next day, Scott found out that he had won $100 million in the lottery, and Jim discovered that he was a distant cousin of the Sultan of Brunei. The Sultan had just died, and left Jim $500 million.

That same day Scott asked for beauty. When they awoke the next morning (in their fabulous new Belvadere Mansion), they were both stunning. Jim was a full 6 inches taller, looked twenty-five again, but was more beautiful than he had ever been at that or any age. Scott lost all his blemishes, 50 pounds, and looked like a cross between his old self and a GQ model.

Finally, it was Jims turn. Around midnight on the third day, Scott asked Jim what he was going to wish. But Jim had ALWAYS been finicky. It once took him five hours to decide whether to buy a pillow case in grape or aubergine.

"Hurry and think of something before its too late!" Scott said. Jim decided he needed time to think, so he went off to the veranda to ponder this important decision.

Just that moment, Scott heard a loud banging at the door. "Who is it?" he says. "Open up boy! We gone kill you!!", a southern-accented voice replies. Scott looks through the window and sees men in white hoods on horses, burning crosses on his lawn.

"Honey! Honey! COME QUICK!!!! The KKK is outside our door!" Jim runs over.

"What in the world are THEY doing in Marin County-I thought this place was liberal-well, I''ll call the police!" Jim says. But the phones are DEAD! The Klansmen had cut the lines!

"HONEY! WISH THEY WOULD GO AWAY! USE YOU LAST WISH TO MAKE THEM GO AWAY!" Scott screams.

"I can''t" he replies, as he slumps to the floor, and the Klansmen begin knocking down the door.

"WHY NOT?!"

Jim paused and replied, "Because I ALREADY wished that we could be hung like black men."



That joke was wrong for so many reasons!

[GPallan]

A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets with their rabbi for counseling.

The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave. The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together."

"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women always dance separately."

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."

"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!," replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks the man.

"No problem," says the rabbi. "It's a mitzvah!"

"Woman on top?" the man asks.

"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"

"Doggy style?"

"Sure! Another mitzvah!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"

"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"

"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"NO, NO, NO!" cries the rabbi.

"Why not?" asks the man.

"Could lead to dancing."

[GPallan]

Why did Tigger get kicked out of the toybox?

Because he sat on Pinochio's nose and yelled "Lie to me baby, lie to me!"

DAMN! I'd love to fuck the hell outta Tigger!!! I bet he's a big slut...