one of the people i was closest to in the world died. i found out tonight. i have had friends die before, but his death has no emotional connection for me. he was barely 40, felt fine, no symptoms of anything. then one day he didn't feel well, went to the hospital, and was diagnosed as having a late stage of a particularly aggressive form of leukemia. he didn't get to go home till the doctors decided he had only a few days left. they were right.
i know that he is gone. but i feel that right now, he is cooking one of his crazy dishes in the kitchen, and chopping vegetables. or playing his piano - maybe even one of the songs we wrote together. or watching tv with his beloved dog.
he was always up to something, always having ideas. he never came out to his parents, but his younger brother knew he was gay. he was always up for a new experience, he was affectionate, and he could be quite argumentative. he was full of spiritual ideas, and he was always building new parts to his rented house. he was a great host, and so cheap that one year, i had to threaten to stop playing music at his place to get him to light the heater. he brought many wonderful people into my life, and i remember when he first met his s/o.
rob was a great friend - more like family - and my world has a hole in it where rob once existed in the lives of his friends.
why am i posting this here? because i feel i have made friends on this board, friends who i hope won't mind if i vent and let this out a little. somehow it's a little easier in writing, and easier still to know that some of you will relate. thanks for reading this...
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