Butt Size

[Bec]

Butt measurements


A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man
looks over at his wife and says:
"Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big.
I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the
grill and then went over to where his wife's bottom was.

"Yes, I was right; your butt is two inches wider than the
barbecue!!!"

The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He
makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him
off.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going
to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?

[longboardjim]

cute!

sincerely ~ jim :francais:

[curiousbunny]

LOL good one

[lesbodojo]

Butt measurements


A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man
looks over at his wife and says:
"Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big.
I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the
grill and then went over to where his wife's bottom was.

"Yes, I was right; your butt is two inches wider than the
barbecue!!!"

The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He
makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him
off.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going
to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?

that's hillarious. First adult joke I've been told in a while. For some reason, most poeple want to tell me clean jokes. For example...my mom told me one last night...

A guy walks into a drs office and says "doc, ya gotta help me."
The dr asks "what seems to be the problem? where do you hurt?"
The guy states "I think I'm a moth."
There's a pause for a sec, and the dr says "I think this is a bit out of my area. Perhaps you should seek therapy."
The guy replies "yeah. I guess so. I just thought I'd walk in cause I saw the light on."

I know. It's bad. ...but it's a nice balance to seeing porn all day.

[jIgG]

@ the butt joke too bad most women don't think of it when their husbands comment on their weight

[Bec]

that's hillarious. First adult joke I've been told in a while. For some reason, most poeple want to tell me clean jokes.

Well, this one's been around a few times, but I wanted to be sure you had a couple "new" adult jokes to add to your arsenal:

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.


"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know
babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat."

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch,
and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is
fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my God!" Mrs Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her
mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good
look."

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate,
and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,um..
equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we
can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too
big to be held in the hand very long."

With that, Mrs. Smith fainted ...

[Chilihost]

haha...I love that butt joke!!!