I've known one young (19 yo) straight dude for about a year and a half. We met thru the internet and found several common things that interest us. He was unaware of me being gay until I decided to hint that fact in some way, so he asked me if I was and I said yes.
Ever since it's been as if I am in the interrogation room, constantly under a barrage of questions that boil down to one - will I ever try to shag him. That would be so terrible that he'd be forced to beat the hell out of me. I've been telling him the answer to the question is a resounding no, because he's straight and I respect this fact, and furthermore once I've known a male person for some time as a friend, be he str8 or gay, he becomes fixated in my mind as a friend only, and any sexual feelings that might have existed usually fade away rapidly.
He seemed to be kind of satisfied with that until recently when he asked me if I would have sex with him if he were really, truly, gay or very curious. With some reluctance I said yes but not in the sense of being obsessed with the idea. I understood that question rather like "Do you find me attractive enough to have sex with me'.
Well, that seems to have sealed off our friendship (if it was friendship at all). He says he can't stand the situation where I could even think for a minute to be aroused by him. If we hang out and my dick goes up while thinking of him, then we don't have a real friendship. It doesn't matter I wouldn't act on that thought and wouldn't try to make a pass on him pshysically. Also the thought that I might have or might be jerking off thinking about him is disgusting.
He thinks that the only way for a straight guy to be friends with a gay guy is if the gay guy is madly in love with another gay guy, so that the str8 guy is safe then. Oh, by the way, he also thinks he's not homophobic at all :shifty:
It's not really important for the general situation, but maybe it's ok for me to emphasize that physically he's kinda cute but nothing extraordinary, and certainly not my ideal type (I'm into masculine 30 y/o butch men, not twinks), and has never been an object of my wet dreams.
So there you have it. A gay guy wants a non-sexual friendly relationship with a str8 guy, but finds it impossible to explain to him that he's not actively thinking about the possiblitity of a gay adventure with him. What is he to do?
I'd also very much like to hear from you 100% straight webmasters - would you consider it a compliment or a nasty, disgusting threat if a gay guy told you he finds you moderately (or very) attractive but will not pursue his instincts because you had made it clear you're straight? Would it make you queasy whether your gay friend occasionally jerks off thinking about you (providing you're sure he will never ask you to blow you)? Or would you consider that also as a compliment?
Can a straight and a gay man really be only friends?
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