ok i been watching this religously since it's inception...here are some of my favorite lines......

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness.

Ralf: my cat's breath smells like cat food.

Homer: I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.

Homer: Here's to alcahol, the cause of- and solution to- all lifes problems

doctor said i wouldn't get so many nose bleeds if i just kept my finger outta there" ~Ralf

Bart: Mom, am I a butch or a femme?
Marge: [with hand lifted] Honey, you can be anything you want to be.

Grandpa: Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Apu: I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service.
Homer: You're selling what, now?
Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
Homer: You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos.
Apu: He's got me there.


Homer: We can outsmart those dolphins. Don't forget -- we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup.

Bart: Mom, can we go Catholic so we can get communion wafers and booze?


ok i'm done... LOL