I remember several years back my niece and I were in an arguement that lasted nearly 6 months. We had missed Christmas's - birthdays and other holidays because of her bitterness towards me and mine to hers.

The person between us was my brother, who kept passing details back and forth - attempting as he said, to bring us back together. One day I had gotten so sick over the anger that I called her up directly to speak as to why she was accusing me of something I hadnt done.

In her own words, she spoke about actions I had taken and my apparent motives. I was shocked in that it was my brother (her dad) who had made these recommendation and guided me based on something that he actually wanted for himself, he used me. I was acting on his words and trusted his perception of the situation. But when it fell apart he blamed me instead of taking it himself and facing his daughters wrath.

My niece and I decided to have a dinner meeting with my brother and together we realized that for months, he was the one who made the mistake and was trying to cover his tracks - to the point of letting her hate me.. so long as he looked good to her and their relationship was fine.

It is now 2004, and once again my niece and I split - looking as though it may take a year to repair. Once again, my brother is in the middle of us - my hope is that he is not repeating his ways.

I see this same misunderstand and angry accusations even now and it saddens me almost to the point of crying.

I have seen this happen way too many times on the boards with people I love. Someone this board get slammed on other boards for not paying bills, calling them a scammer etc. and get harassed each time they post. My experience is that I have met and care deeply for this person and I know that no matter what - I wont betray them on the boards, figuring that they must have a reason for whatever decision they made.

I remember the story of the king who forgave a poor man over 100,000$ by not throwing him in jail for life. yet after the king forgave him, the poor man walked out of the palace, and bumped into someone who owed him 100$ - he demanded the money, and was going to throw him in jail, when the king heard of this - he became angry and called the poor man back and threw him in jail and brought back the debt he owed.

We want it one way - forgive me, but I wont forgive someone else. Our trials and accusations against us never changes our perseptions of others, whether they be straight trying to work in the gay industry or coworkers / peers.

So what has happened with my family now? My brother after not accepting his responsibility - has lost his job and has been out of work for 4 years, and even though he wronged me - I have kept him safe, living at my place and feeding him. As much wrong as he has done against me - I may have a larger debt owed to someone else in life. Since the situation with my niece, half my family wont be around for christmas.

I hope this christmas and new years we all can reassess our feelings of bitterness and hatred towards one another - whether it be someone who is straight - coworker - ex - whatever - karma will come knocking soon to your door, its up to you to make sure it finds you well and with good spirit to allow it in.