Derogatory use of the word "gay"

[Lee]

Thank you Patti, that was exactly my point. It's not that someone means it to sound bad, but there's a psychology there by equating a word (and not in an ironic sense) with something negative. Even though the intent is not to harm, it still makes people think negatively about that word.

Thats so straight

I know exactly what you mean though Don, the problem is, that type of saying HAS (and still is in some circles) used as a derogatory term.

Regards,

Lee

[gaystoryman]

For what it is worth, I think your answer Don was bang on. Words do hurt, and it is too bad too many don't stand up when words are used in a way that are demeaning or insulting. :thumbsup:

[basschick]

words have a lot of power, and some people use them cruely to take away important parts of ourselves. others are simply careless.

the words ladies or girls is often used that way in sports and movies about sports - the military, too. i've heard coaches and team mates throw insults at each other - apparently the worst thing you can be is a girl

speaking as someone who was given no choice but to grow up as a girl, i think it would be worse in sports or the military to be a parakeet or a groundhog. in any event, it made me feel sick every time i heard it - still does

[MiamiB]

We went to a taping of the TV show "Joey" and at one point when he did something that showed some emotion the other character (a girl) made the comment, "That's SO gay!"...naturally it got a huge laugh!

There were 3 other negative references made about being gay in the same taping for a 30 minute show! This is main stream people...is it any wonder it is so accepted to use being gay as a put down!

We are the only minority group that it is still socially accepted to opening BASH!

Needless to say, my boyfriend and I left the taping early!

OH...For the record we had never actually watched the show "Joey"...it's just that we had just moved to Hollywood and thought it would be cool to seem the production of a TV show...wrong!!

[Madame0120]

Words do hurt, and it is too bad too many don't stand up when words are used in a way that are demeaning or insulting. :thumbsup:

I stand up! As will the boy we raised to manhood.

But just like everything else in this world - only the ignorant knuckleheads are heard. However, in MY Home - hate is not allowed, and never ignored.

For 6 years I've watched my son's circle of Friends grow into fine young men. For some we may be the only voice of reason and tolerance in their lives and pray that they remember the Lessons taught by example in our happy Home.

A Mother like me may be called traditional, yet it is anything but. Never working outside the home while raising my child, is a luxury I will always be grateful for. I may never know what it feels like to get that next great promotion, recieve a pay raise or given awards for a job well done. No, Moms like me stand a quiet watch, looking for the small signs her daily care has had impact. Hard years of doing without material things so I could stay at home and be a traditional Wife, melted away the day I got my sign.

There was a new kid was in the wake of the usual after school invastion of noisy boy-things, nothing but big feet and hungry bellies wanting to know why I had to wait to cut the "stupid pan of brownies". They wandered off, none of them interested in my lesson on the physics of cooking and I heard the new one pipe up, That's So GAY. Before I could turn around to explain the Rules of The House to our new guest .. the rest of them jumped all over this poor kid - No words could be sweeter or fill me with more Pride than a 14 year old saying, "Shit man, better Watch out .. cause She will kick your ass if she hears you say that." "Yeah butthead, don't mess up, I'm hungry."

That was my reward, award and validation all rolled into one. There is no job or cause, not a car, big house or thing on this earth that could mean more to me than that moment. Knowing that not just my son, but the rest of the crew of- "my boys" - understood the full lesson of tolerance that is only complete when a person speaks up against bigotry, in all it's forms.

[MWCren]

I've been killing myself trying to remember when "thats so gay" sorta "took off" as common. Then it hit me... South Park. Those little imps constantly use it. Now, I realize South Park doesn't descriminate.. they throw out every rule book on political correctness, but seems to me "thats so gay" gets a lot of air time.

I'm really sorta surprised too. You know they have more than a few gay writers on the staff.. how else could they come up with Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave!

Think of other phrases from that show that have really been over-used.. how about the superlative "hella", or "weak" or "lame". I don't know if they reflect the labels that are already out there, or if they enforce them and encourage mimicry. Kids that use those phrases probably don't even know what it means. They heard it on South Park, so its "cool".

[Madame0120]

Then it hit me... South Park. Those little imps constantly use it.

The day I heard the word dildo come out of the mouth of a cartoon on my TV, it was forbidden in my Home. But Maaaaaa ..
Tough shit .. go to Brian's house if you wana watch that crap.

Ask me again .. and your cable is gone.

End of subject

Are we the last FAmily on earth with RULES?

[collegeboyslive]

but other than homosexual, as in "that's so gay". The main idea of the thread was that most people who use the word do not intend it to be derogatory towards gay people, it's just become a word that means something different now, so it's use is pretty much okay.

I even hear gay people say this. which i really find to be funny, in a sad sorta way

[SLS]

When I see/hear/read something that is extremely for/by homosexuals, sometimes my first reaction will be to say "that's so gay." I've heard "that's so punk rock", "that's so ghetto", "that's so emo" etc etc, meaning the same thing, "thats for/by a specific group"
But yeah, when people start using it as a general catchall for everything they dont like, it annoys the fuck out of me. When someone does that I usually say "YOUR so gay...and that makes me feel bad." Everyone knows I'm gay, so this usually upsets and confuses people, which is great if they say stupid shit like "that's so gay" every five minutes.

I'm way more annoyed by fag I guess. In person I do usually brush it off or say something equally stupid like "yes I am and no you can't suck my dick."
But it's my answering machine that drives me insane. It never fails that I have at least one message from someone (usually a straight male friend, usually the ones who have recently been in the armed forces) yelling "answer the phone you fag!" I dunno why guys think this is the way to get me to pick up. Guys like this say it so much it's second nature, and calling them out when they do it in person usually does me no good. They either get really embarassed and apoligize a lot, which is ackward and a stronger reaction than I had to the word in the first place. Or then they start going "oh sorry I don't mean you Jay" everytime they say it. Oh awesome, I'm the special excluded fag. Everyone else who is a fag sucks except me. Straight guys can be so fucking boring.