Thinking of moving to L.A., huh?

I moved here just about five years ago from Pennsylvania, and it was a MAJOR adjustment for me. At first I loved it, then after a while I hated it; now I have a healthy love/hate relationship with the city.

THE PROS:

* Mild weather/climate -- Don't let anybody tell you L.A. is cold. It's GREAT weather. It usually hits an average of between 70 and 78 during the summers, and in the winters the lowest it gets is about 45. To me, that's perfect, as I don't want to live anywhere where it's 80 degrees all year round. How boring would that be? Plus, you'd have no sense of the seasons or time passing if it stayed warm all year long. For the most part, L.A. is GREAT weather.

* Culture/Hollywood -- One of the greatest things about Los Angeles is that it is the entertainment capital of the world. There is no shortage of free movie screenings, free concerts and free tapings of TV shows here. I can't tell you how many awesome screenings I've attended where I got to meet folks like Jim Carey, Nicole Kidman, Kevin Bacon, and many others -- FOR FREE! If you are savvy enough and know which email lists to sign up to, you can go to advance screenings of many movies months/weeks/days before the public sees them. There are concerts every night. Lots of live theater too (the Mark Taper Forum is one of the most respected theaters in the country). On top of this, there are so many great restaurants to eat at. Everything from Thai and Peruvian to Ethiopian and Vietnamese. There is almost no way you can live in L.A. and not be cultured.

* Proximity to Sites -- Big Bear Lake, Joshua Tree State Park, Disneyland, Six Flags of California, Great American Adventure, Palm Springs, Venice Beach, Santa Monica Pier, San Deigo, San Francisco, the Grand Canyon... these are all things that are within a few hours' drive from Los Angeles. (San Fran is 5-6 hours; ditto the Grand Canyon.) There are just so many cool and fun things you can do and see here. Awesome places to hike/walk your dog (Runyon Canyon, Griffith Park), and a zoo. Recreational opportunities abound.

* The gay community -- From West Hollywood to Silver Lake, this city is FILLED with "the gays." Hell, they run this town. When I first moved here, I got so used to seeing them walking hand in hand down the streets that it came as a shock to me to see straight people again.

* The Porn Biz -- If you want to produce adult content, this is the place to do it. It's legal, there are tons of companies in the San Fernando Valley (aka Porn Valley) and the people all look like they are porn stars anyway, so there's no shortage of beautiful people to cast in your movies.

THE CONS:

* The smog -- If you don't have allergies or sinus problems, after living here for about four to five years, you will. The smog is AWFUL for your system.

* Rent/housing prices -- A modest one-bedroom apartment can run you $950 to $1200, though you can find nicer if you live in the Valley (10 degrees hotter than L.A. at any given time, and UNBEARABLY hot in the summers) or in certain places in the city, like Korea Town or Hollywood.

* The size -- L.A. is a HUGE city. It's not like New York or San Francisco, where you can just hop on the metro/Muni and get where you need to be in a relatively short (and stress-free) amount of time. Because the city is so spread out, it's a bit overwhelming, and everybody drives to avoid the failure of our wretched pubilc transit system. Which leads me to...

* The traffic/the parking -- OH. MY. GOD! It's AWFUL. Positively AWFUL! Driving just five blocks can take 20 minutes sometimes. Stay away from the 405 freeway at all costs if you want to get ANYWHERE! Because L.A. is so spread out, mostly everybody drives, so there tons of people on the streets and there is NEVER anywhere to park, especially in West Hollywood, the bane of my existence as a driver.

* The people!!!!!!! -- One of the biggest problems with L.A. is its residents. Because Hollywood is a town that is built upon the foundation of fantasy and falseness, that conceit spills out into the people who live here. I have never met so many people concerned with their bodies and with appearances than I have in L.A. They are self-involved, body-obsessed, emotionally vacuous freaks who have their heads in the clouds and rarely pay attention to anybody but themselves. It's all about the outside, never the inside. Muscles are more important than personality, and cell phones (especially in banks, restaurants, post offices and cars) are the preferred method of human interaction.

The problem with Hollywood is that people move here from other states to remake themselves into this ridiculously phony image of what they think they want to be. They think, "Oooh, Hollywood. I can go there and be somebody." They forget they already were somebody. Consequently, they move here to lose themselves in a sea of shallow opportunists who are all looking to get famous for nothing. Everyone here thinks they are a star of some kind, even though they've done nothing all that sensational to warrant attention, and the name-dropping that goes on is out of control. It's all generalizing, of course, but a lot of people out here are out of touch with reality, and it makes this city very sad, lonely and alienating at times.

After being here for 5 years, I've gotten used to the people. They don't bother me as much as they used to. I just don't relate to them. I have a very small circle of friends, and once you find that, you're pretty much good to go. If you've got friends, you can pretty much live anywhere.

That said, L.A. is NOT the city I would pick to live in, if I had my druthers. I'm only here because my career (entertainment journalism) dictates that I'll have more opportunity here than New York. If you move here, it's IMPERATIVE that you get out of the city for an extended weekend at least twice (if not three times) a year so that you can get your head out of the vacuum of falsity (not to mention out of your own ass). I have to escape L.A. as often as possible in order to clear my head and remember what's really important to me.

My ultimate dream is to have a house in Pennsylvania, an apartment in New York City, and an apartment in Hollywood so I can enjoy the best of all the "worlds" I have come to call home. But in many ways, L.A. is home to me, and I'm really glad that I live here.

Hope that helps.