Squirt, i'm with you on this.

18? he is barely legally old enough to find his own way, and for whatever reason, his folks aren't backing him. lots of people aren't earning a living at 18, and frankly very few 18 year olds i've known are all that reliable. a guy whose parents don't help at this age isn't going to have lots of life skills. and frankly a lot of kids that age just aren't capable of calling an authority that turned them down - which makes sense since most of us are VERY much taught to accept authority's decisions by school and our parents.

marcjacob - have you guys ever spent some time with him when none of the three of you felt resentful? maybe you could offer him a few meals and watch tv with him and after he has reason to trust you a little, you could ask what's going on with him. i don't mean preambling it with "why aren't you getting a job, boy?" but just asking if there's a problem.

the funniest thing i've noticed is that virtually nobody just talks to teenagers - they sort of expect them to be adults but they also lecture them and guilt them or don't talk to them at all. i've always liked teenagers and found that a little open hearted listening does miracles if you can get them to trust you have no ulterior motive.

Quote Originally Posted by Squirt View Post
Dude this kid is 18

He's having a hard time

Stop being the uptight relatives and relax a bit

Do you want to go down in his history as being difficult when he's trying to find his way?

give the kid some space. Let him find his pace. He's with you for a reason, because his close relatives have shut him out. Be patient and work with him. Don't be so quick to shut him out like others have.

Be the people who make a difference in his life instead of the people who did the same thing everyone else did.

If you really want to help him then HELP HIM. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Stop finding reasons to push him out and start finding reasons to keep him in.