You know, I came in here to comment on something Mansized had said and I got so carried away with my other post that I completey forgot to say what I was going to say. LOL!!!

I had a very bad experience in the past with a straight roommate of mine. He was actually the boyfriend of someone I was going to get an apartment with and so we moved in together even though I didn't know him that well. He was homophobic but figured he could live with me so that we could get the house we were looking at. When I meet someone like that, I usually open myself to them and allow them to see what kind of a person I am, rather than just be indignant that they are homophobic. I have made friends with people and have given them the chance to rethink their ideas on gay people because they had never had a chance to really get to know one before.

This situation didn't go so well. If he would make gay jokes or say derogatory comments, I would laugh it off. He would say things like, "you're not so bad for a fag", or make "butt pirate" jokes, and I would just act like it didn't bother me. I didn't want to give him the power of realizing that those words did hurt coming from him. Well, the end result was that he started using them more and more. I wanted him to feel comfortable around me enough to not censor his usual language. Instead, he took it as an opportunity to demean me and make more jokes because he honestly thought that by letting him use this language, I was too stupid to realize that he was really being insulting.

My straight friends refer to things as "gay" and I've even heard a few of them refer to someone as a "fag". I don't make a big deal about it until the language turns intentionally insulting. I always say that I don't get offended by someone unless they are intentionally trying to offed me. I just worry that by making offensive language mainstream, you empower someone to be malicious while still claming use language that is acceptable.

Again, my two cents. Take it for what it's worth. Thank you for listening.